We open in an empty Bell Center in Montreal, Quebec. The CWF ring crew has arrived and is busy at work setting up for Night of Champions. There is the normal hustle and bustle associated with the preparations by a major venue for a sporting event of such magnitude. Some say the Canadians give more respect to professional wrestling than Americans do to the NFL. There are vendors setting up novelty stands and concessionaires are prepping their goods for consumption. In the private parking garage beneath the main level, the area typically reserved for the performer’s transports, tour buses, etc. There are tech crews taping down hardwires as a purple Ferarri peels down the ramp at a high rate of speed. “Jailbreak” by Thin Lizzy is playing so loud on the car’s stereo that it drowns out the sounds of the workers as the car spins in donuts and comes to a halt. As the door opens, the camera pans up from the ground and the unmistakable, unimitatable form of the one and only True Heel..."The Nitemare" Rob Osbourne, emerges. Like a Phoenix risen from the ashes the once great World Champion of numerous federations, organizations and associations walks forth with his trademark purple Oakley frogskin shades, hair pulled back into a pony tail with the bangs drooping into the eyes. Clad in typical Rob Osbourne fashion, pleated Perry Ellis slacks, a Giorgio Armani black dress shirt and a black leather jacket stands the man that has beaten every single legend currently on the CWF roster. Save for one. A backstage camera crew and reporter arrive to see what the commotion is about. They approach the Nitemare.
REPORTER: Rob Osbourne, Rob Osbourne....can you confirm that you have indeed signed a contract with the CWF?
NRO: What's your name son?
NRO: Well, Bobby...there comes a time in every man's life when he gets up at 1:30 in the afternoon, feels the 9:35 p.m. shadow of his face that isn't covered in man fur and takes a long look in the mirror as he takes the sickest bong hit imaginable and as he exhales, coughing ever so slowly he looks into the mirror and sees this beast of a man. this shadow of his former self....and when this happens...
Osbourne is moving his hands as he speaks, as if showing this giant fictional abyss from his mind's eye as the reporter pulls the mic back to himself and begins to speak.
REPORTER: Sir, with all due respect, is that a yes?
NRO: Hmmmm.....I believe the answer is...
Osbourne swiftly kicks the kid in the stomach and grabs his head and swings into the depths of his armpit and drops the defenseless young reporter to the hard concrete floor with a sickening Badd Dream - Osbourne's trademark inverted DDT. Upon impact the man's skull cracks with a sickening thud and blood pours from his face as he struggles to maintain consciousness.
NRO: Yes you silly little sonofabitch!
Osbourne smears his hand through the pool of blood and begins wiping the blood on his own face.
NRO: I'm out for Blood. I understand there is an open challenge being issued here tonight. Let me tell you something, skippy…the last time you and I were supposed to throw down for some CWF gold, you pussed out and had Z-Pac save your tainted ass. There is no Boston Bean Pack here to have your back. The days of the River Dragon, Z-Pac and Mike Van Pussy are over. The era of The Family is upon you all. I am back. I am here, you’re queer, get used to it. Xamin, get my hardware ready....daddy's home.
Osbourne swings his jacket over his shoulder as he flips the keys to the camera man and heads toward the locker rooms. Fade out.
Many men call themselves champions. In a career, seldom few will ever be able to back that claim up. But tonight, championship ramifications are at stake in every battle. With the sound of every bell, a championship contender will go to war, a title will be decided, and scores will be settled. Tonight, the CWF will experience the Ides of March. Tonight, the world will experience…
Montreal, Quebec. The cultural capital of Canada. Home of the 24 time Stanley Cup champions, the Montreal Canadiens. Tonight, just off Rene Levesque Ouest, from the sold out Bell Center in la belle province…the CWF proudly presents Night of Champions: The Ides of March.
Inside the arena, the crowd is buzzing and the scene is set for a dramatic night of wrestling. Fireworks explode over the set, which consists of two Roman pillars framing a red curtain. Two men clad in Renaissance attire stand “guard,” each posted at a pillar. Two massive video screens are to either side of the pillars. One to the right features the Night of Champions: The Ides of March logo. The other features the live feed of the event.
The ring, as usual, features a gray canvas. The Night of Champions logo is splashed on the center of the mat. The ropes are black rubber cables with red turnbuckles. The apron is designed to look like marble, with “Night of Champions” stamped across it in black font with red trim, and “The Ides of March” italicized beneath it.
Cut to our hosts for the evening; Teddy Turnbuckle and “Beautiful” Bobby Crane, who are comfortably seated in a press box on the third level of the building, for a perfect bird’s eye view of the arena.
TT: Good evening ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to beautiful Montreal, Quebec for Night of Champions: The Ides of March! I’m Teddy Turnbuckle and with me, as always, is “Beautiful” Bobby Crane…and Bobby, welcome to la belle province!
BC: The what now?
TT: La belle province! The beautiful province…you mean to tell me you call yourself “Beautiful” and you can’t figure out what la belle province means?
BC: I see your lips moving, Teddy…but all I hear is “blah bluh bluh, blooo” in some kind of fake French accent. Here’s some French for you, ya little twit…ferme la bouche!
TT: Well your horrible French aside, Bobby…what a night we have lined up tonight! Rob Osbourne is in the building! And we have a triple threat match, the winner moves on to the main event of Super Card V for the World Heavyweight Championship, and the final spot in the Elimination Chamber…Pledge Allegiance, Mickey Stone, and the M.u.H…..what an opportunity.
BC: Yeah well The Valentine Bash apparently took a toll on Mickey Stone…I guess Blair really did him in when he showed his genius once more and outsmarted Stone at the finish line! But the bottom line is, since that moment, Mickey Stone hasn’t been the same and I guess we’re gonna see tonight whether or not he can bring what he brought to the Bash here tonight…
TT: And the big one I’m looking forward to…it’s been the talk of the wrestling world all week. Magnus Thunder and Brian Adams will clash tonight in what is sure to be an early match of the year contender…these two want at each other, and bad.
BC: Well Magnus is looking to avenge a loss from 2001, and Adams is out to prove that win wasn’t a fluke. And another side note…both these guys are in the Chamber at Super Card V…so there’s a little extra at stake besides the obvious rivalry…this is a chance to soften your opponent up before the big one!
TT: We will see a new National Champion crowned here tonight, and it will be one of three men…Astro, Mr. Markowitz, or Rey Del Dragon.
BC: Well Dragon looked like he was terrified of the ring last week, but somehow he scored an accidental victory…well if he can accidentally stumble into the National title, what a huge accomplishment that’d be. But out of the three…I dunno, Teddy, I can see all three of them walking out of here with the belt and all three of those scenarios would make a great story. Markowitz hasn’t been able to finish his opponents…he’s come close, but no cigar…Astro is making a return to wrestling after a long hiatus…and Dragon…well, I’m sure his translator would be happy if he could score a win tonight!
TT: How about this one, Teddy? Your man, Paul Blair, taking on The Raving Lunatic.
BC: What?! You mean the CWF was serious about that? I thought it was just some sick joke…this is an absolute tragedy that the CWF brass would put Blair in the ring with such a savage, with a man not even in the same league as Blair!
TT: …you’re not gonna say it?
BC: Say what?
TT: You mean you’re not gonna ramble on for twenty minutes about how it’s not fair to Blair?
BC: I don’t know what you’re talking about…
TT: …let’s just…never mind…
BC: I mean fair is fair…
TT: Right. I’m getting word that something is going on in the back…do we have a camera back there? We do…uhh ladies and gentlemen, we’re apparently going to Paul Blair’s locker room…
Cut to Paul Blair's locker room. Paul Blair walks into his locker room and sitting in a steel chair with a huge grin on his face is former CWF star Gary “Chemical X” Scarletti, wearing a contemporary black three buttoned suit.
PAUL BLAIR: What are you doing here, X?
CHEMICAL X: Oh come on Blair, is that any way to treat and old friend?
PAUL BLAIR: Old friend? You're one of the sneakiest bastards I know.
CHEMICAL X: Yes I was, remember the time I drove into your mansion with a Humvee, or there was the time I kidnapped Robin Cradle, ooh... ooh and then there was the time...
PAUL BLAIR: Thanks for the trip down memory lane X but what's the point? I have a match later tonight.
CHEMICAL X: Ahh, those were the good old days... I'm not here to do anything more than observe. I have no tricks up my sleeve for you. You wanna know why am I in your locker room? It’s because I have someone for you to meet.
Smash! Almost before X could finish the word 'meet' The Juggernaut smashes through the door in his full wrestling attire.
THE JUGGERNAUT: Yeah Its The Juggernaut Bitch!
Followed as always by “The Mouth of the South” Johnny Gritz. The Juggernaut walks up to Paul Blair face to face staring down at the man half his weight and almost a foot shorter.
THE JUGGERNAUT: You gonna win the CWF Championship at super card!
The Juggernaut practically shouted.
PAUL BLAIR: Sure thing, rookie! If you want I'll even devote my win to you!
THE JUGGERNAUT: Yeah! Good! I will be taking the gold away from YOU then!
PAUL BLAIR: Is he serious?! X, I understand he's big but you better teach this kid the ropes before you send him after me.
JOHNNY GRITZ: Are you serious nigga! This motherfucker is twice your size!
PAUL BLAIR: Size isn't everything in the business, shorty!
Blair sizes The Juggernaut up and stares him in the eye.
PAUL BLAIR: You should learn that before you try coming after anything that belongs to me.
THE JUGGERNAUT: Oh this mothafucka can’t be serious! Does he not know who the fuck I am? He must not know who I am...
CHEMICAL X: JUGG WAIT!
Chemical X stands up and grabs the steel chair. He stands in between Blair and The Juggernaut looking to calm things down. He then looks at The Juggernaut and smiles.
CHEMICAL X: Use this!
X hands The Juggernaut the chair and steps out of the way. The Juggernaut heaves the chair back with one massive hand and backhands Paul Blair with the chair as if it were a tennis racket. The chair bends and Paul Blair flies back into the lockers.
THE JUGGERNAUT: Pimp slap yo ass BITCH! You betta recognize!
The Juggernaut walks out of the locker room followed by Chemical X and Johnny Gritz.
THE JUGGERNAUT: Juggernaut, baby!
Cut back to ringside.
BC: What the hell was THAT?! THAT was not fair to Blair!
TT: Actually for once I agree with you, Bobby…Chemical X is nothing but a thug and now he’s brought in a 7’5” thug to do his bidding for him…
BC: How…tell me HOW, is Blair supposed to compete tonight?
TT: That’s a good question…right now though we’re heading to the ring for our opening match up…
KHRIST VS KYLE SYNC
With his knee now seemingly healed, Kyle Sync walked to the ring, no limping this week. He stepped through the ropes as “Crawling” by Linkin Park blared through the arena, and awaited his opponent.
And what an opponent he is. Khrist, one of the most dangerous competitors in the CWF, stalked through the curtain and outstretched his arms in the form of a cross, his long hair covering his face as he hung his head as if being crucified. Always a terrifying image. As Mozart’s “Requiem Lacrimosa” accompanied his entrance, a pre-recorded promo airs through picture-in-picture at the top left hand corner of your screen.
KHRIST: I knew you were an enabler, Kyle Sync. Look at the wrathful fans you have spawned. I knew you wanted to make me bleed my own blood. Fate seems to favour me on this day. Night of Champions is the day I rid the world of your corrupt soul. Save these people from wanting to live like their supposed hero.
TT: Strong words from Khrist, but we’ve come to expect nothing less from this guy…
BC: And he backs every word up, Teddy…this guy is lethal!
The match begins. Khrist, as usual, stands completely still in his corner, staring a hole through Kyle Sync. Sync cautiously makes his way to the center of the ring. Khrist shoots him his now trademark evil grin through the hair covering his face. Sync charges in at him and Khrist moves, bouncing Sync’s head off the turnbuckle. Sync rebounds back, and Khrist drops him with an inverted DDT. Khrist, looking like a man possessed, quickly pulls Sync up and drops him with another DDT. He pulls him up, and drops him with another. He could easily make the cover and win at this point, in what would be one of the quickest victories in recent memory, but this is a national television network special, and Khrist is enjoying the air time. He pulls Sync up again. Sync is completely out on his feet and can barely stand. Khrist grins at him and circles him like a rabid hyena, pondering what to do to him next. Finally, after careful consideration, he decides. He boots Sync in the gut and lifts him up in a suplex position…but hooks his leg for a…musclebuster! Sync is folded up like an accordion but Khrist isn’t finished with him yet. He picks him back up and whips him to the ropes…spear! Sync is in a very bad way and Khrist poses for the camera. While most of the crowd showers him with boos, it appears he has a small cult following in the crowd, as there is a small, but noticeable, smattering of cheers.
Khrist looks down at Sync, racked with pain and barely able to roll over. He watches Sync suffer as he tries to make his way to the ropes and pull himself back up. Once Sync gets to his feet, Khrist kicks his legs out from under him and sends him back down to the mat. He jumps slightly with excitement, knowing he can do whatever he wants to Sync. Khrist pulls him up….PILEDRIVER! And he makes a cover!
Khrist pulls his head up and stops the count!
TT: Come on! This match should be over but Khrist wants to toy with him!
Khrist smiles slyly and looks down at his latest victim as the referee yells at him to make a cover and end it. Khrist ignores the ref’s pleas and carries Sync over to the top rope, where he sits him facing the crowd. Khrist stand on the second turnbuckle with his back to Sync, and hooks his arms….he hoists him up on his back, and…SECOND COMING FROM THE TOP! Sync’s body bounces off the mat with a loud crash and the crowd erupts at the sight of the devastating move. Khrist stands over his unconscious body and covers him with one foot on his chest, his arms outstretched like a cross.
The camera zooms in on Kyle Sync, who has blood coming out of his mouth, an indication of internal bleeding. Khrist has his arm raised in victory, when suddenly….
The lights brown out and flicker off. Lightning strikes the entryway, and through the shower of sparks Magnus Thunder appears.
MAGNUS THUNDER: So the weed has choked the life from yet another 'enabler.' Tell me, will you choke the life out of one of God's chosen?
Magnus throws the mic aside and starts toward Khrist. Khrist looks frantically around the arena for a place to escape, but the only way out would be through the crowd, full of fans screaming for Magnus to tear him apart. Suddenly, from behind the curtain runs The Raving Lunatic! Steel chair in hand, he nails Magnus Thunder from behind, blindsiding the big man and sending him staggering forward. Lunatic again nails Thunder with the chair, brutally assaulting him. Khrist smiles at Lunatic from the ring and outstretches his arms like a cross, apparently embracing him. Lunatic returns the same pose to Khrist and slides into the ring, where Khrist seemingly anoints Lunatic with the sign of the cross on Lunatic’s forward. Magnus attempts to pull himself up, and through clenched teeth, furiously looks up at the two twisted stars in the ring. Khrist points at Magnus and he and Lunatic walk over to him with the chair. Khrist orders Lunatic to hit Magnus over the head with the chair…Lunatic winds up…but just as he’s about to bring the chair down…
TT: It’s Blood! Thank God Blood is here! Maybe he can stop this unholy alliance!
Fire explodes at the entrance ramp. Blood walks through the explosion wielding a sledgehammer. He races over to Magnus Thunder’s aid, swinging the hammer wildly at Khrist and Lunatic, who are now scurrying around the ring, Blood in hot pursuit. Eventually they split up, and Khrist escapes up the ramp. Lunatic manages to fake Blood out and escapes up the ramp as well. Khrist grins at Blood and waves at him coyly. Lunatic tears his own hair out and looks at Khrist for approval. Khrist nods at him and then once more outstretches his arm like a cross, and the two disappear behind the curtain.
Blood, however, is more concerned with former blood nemesis, and now friend, Magnus Thunder. He helps Magnus to his feet. Magnus picks up the chair that he was bludgeoned with, and slams it to the ground in a fit of rage. Blood pats him on the back and offers him some reassuring words, and the two head to the back together.
TT: Well it looks like three weeks into the CWF’s relaunch we’ve already got a war between two factions! Imagine this…The Raving Lunatic has apparently joined Khrist’s New Church, and what an unholy alliance that is going to be….and last week we found out Blood has made amends with Magnus Thunder and there is apparently a brotherhood between those two…imagine what it’s going to be like when those four men collide!
BC: What? Who cares about Magnus and Blood? Think of the carnage Khrist and Lunatic are going to unleash at Super Card V in the Elimination Chamber! On their own they’re both incredibly dangerous…but together?! Are you kidding me? Who could ever hope to stop them? Blood won’t be in the Chamber, but Magnus will…but look what these two did to Magnus just now!
TT: Yeah, from behind! Let’s see what they can do facing Magnus head on, because let me tell you, with God as my witness I say Magnus could take them both on and still manage to overpower them! They’re barking up the wrong 7’5” tree, but that’s just my opinion.
BC: Yeah well your opinion is stupid.
TT: Well, that’s your opinion and you’ve never been one to shy away from announcing it to anyone who’ll listen. But nonetheless, ladies and gentlemen….in our next segment, I sat down with the CWF’s latest free agent signing….Axel Way. Right now, we’re going to watch this pre-recorded interview from late last night in the Queen Elizabeth Hotel just up the road from the Bell Center…
We cut to a pre-recorded interview segment. Teddy Turnbuckle sits with newcomer Axel Way in a suite overlooking the city of Montreal. With the city lights as a backdrop, the interview begins.
TT: Hello Axel, On behalf of myself and the management, I'd like to welcome you here to CWF.
AXEL WAY: Ok, cut the formalities Teddy, I don't care about welcomes or congratulations, I'm just here to win and show all the punks in the locker room who's best.
TT: That is obviously an ambition of yours, any others?
AXEL WAY: Good that you asked because I do, as you all should know I was one of the top stars at the Hardcore Wrestling Alliance and I was involved in some of the most brutal matches ever invented, as I was brushing up on my CWF history I came across a profile of Hall Of Famer Z-Pac, apparently he ''revolutionized'' hardcore wrestling in the CWF, so I want to prove that what he did was nothing. I will surpass him and prove who is the premier hardcore wrestler ever to step foot into a ring!
TT: That's a bold statement to make, where will you start?
Axel glares at Teddy Turnbuckle’s clipboard, which features the Night of Champions logo on the back. He grins and taps the word “Champions.”
AXEL WAY: Whoever wins the National Title tonight better watch out because I'm gonna be hot on their heels, barbed wire baseball bat in hand and swinging for the fences...
TT: Ok, thank you for your time Axel and we'll be looking forward to seeing you in action.
Axel nods his head confidently and we cut back to the press box with Teddy Turnbuckle and “Beautiful” Bobby Crane.
BC: Wow…first ever appearance in the CWF and he basically called out the Freak? Sounds like we’ve signed another guy with a screw loose. Are you sure he isn’t related to the Raving Lunatic?
TT: Well we certainly witnessed Z-Pac do some heinous things while forging his Hall of Fame career, and that’s a big pair of shoes for Axel Way to fill, but he’s putting that pressure on himself and you can’t knock his ambition…and frankly, I’ve seen the tapes of some of the things this guy has done…he’s called out the National Champion, whomever that may be by the end of the night…and you’ve got to believe whoever wins it better be looking over their shoulder with this guy in the locker room…
BC: Yeah well, he talks a good game…let’s see if he can back it up.
TT: Ladies and gentlemen, we are going to take our first commercial break…don’t go anywhere, we’ll be back with more CWF action after this!
TT: Welcome back to Night of Champions, ladies and gentlemen, and the Ides of March have already come into effect here tonight…the Raving Lunatic has joined the New Church of Khrist and if not for Blood, they may have made a sacrifice out of Magnus Thunder, who you had better believe is seething…just dying to get his hands on either one of them, but especially Khrist…
BC: Yeah well Khrist ain’t his problem tonight, Brian Adams is…and if Magnus Thunder takes his eye off Brian Adams for one second, he’s gonna have bigger problems than the New Church.
TT: Right you are, Bobby…and now Magnus has got to be thankful that Blood has returned to watch his back…but in any event, folks…up next the new member of the New Church, The Raving Lunatic, is taking on Paul Blair, and I have been looking forward to this one all week long…
BC: This just flat out isn’t fair to Blair. We’re three weeks away from the biggest event in CWF history, and they’ve thrown him to the damn lions already! You’re literally putting him in the ring with a friggin’ Lunatic! Tell me how that’s fair!
TT: Well I guess Blair is getting an opportunity to scout one of his opponents at Super Card, Bobby…surely a superior athlete like Paul Blair is just loving an opportunity to…
BC: Oh shut up, Teddy, whadda you know?
PAUL BLAIR VS THE RAVING LUNATIC
The Raving Lunatic made his way down the aisle as “Scatterbrain” by Insane Clown Posse rumbled through the arena. Lunatic was frantically looking over his shoulder for any sign of Magnus Thunder or Blood. As he stalked towards the ring, a video replay of his attack on Magnus Thunder and his embracing Khrist and joining the New Church airs. When the video finishes, Lunatic is in the ring awaiting his opponent.
Suddenly, the two Renaissance “guards” standing at the Roman pillars of the set sound the trumpets. One of them opens a scroll and reads it aloud into a microphone.
Guard: Hear ye, hear ye. The Ruler hath arriveth.
The trumpets sound again. As they finish, the BlairVision theme begins and Paul Blair struts through the curtain as if he’s the king. Replica title and all, Blair does his best impression of a King as he walks down the aisle with all the elegance of an angry Christian Bale. His head is wrapped in a bandage as a result of the chair shot he took courtesy of The Juggernaut. Fans throw garbage at him but they may as well have been throwing flowers at him because it’s all lost on Blair. He is the Ruler, and don’t try to tell him otherwise. He climbs through the ropes and the bell sounds.
TT: Are you kidding me with this? Now he’s a king?
BC: All hail the King! Ha! Blair is the greatest!
On the sound of the bell, Lunatic goes insane and runs around the ring like a mad man, tearing out his hair, screaming, bashing his own head into the turnbuckle, and rolling around the mat like a small animal having a seizure…before settling down to chew on the middle rope. Blair, seeing this, widens his eyes and proclaims himself too classy to wrestle someone so crazy. He waves his hands dismissively at Lunatic and exits the ring, heading back up the ramp.
BC: Blair don’t need this! This ain’t fair to Blair. This ain’t the thing for a king. Blair ain’t lazy, Lunatic’s just crazy. Blair’s too good for this chump.
TT: Well thanks Dr. Suess. I for one am glad we’re way up here in the pressbox and not at ringside with the Raving Lunatic down there, but Blair has a contractual obligation to fulfill tonight and if he doesn’t get back in that ring, he could lose his main event spot at Super Card!
TT: That’s right, Bobby! And Blair knows that, he better get himself back in that ring!
BC: Put his poor head! He’s wrestling half conscious!
Blair makes it about halfway up the aisle before the fans taunts apparently get to him. Or perhaps he just made it seem that way. With Lunatic getting all his crazies out, Blair teases the crowd for a moment and then makes his way back into the ring. Lunatic is still enjoy the savory taste of the middle rope, and Blair runs at him to drop a leg across the back of his neck. Lunatic moves, and Blair crotches himself on the middle rope! Blair hops around the ring holding his groin and Lunatic pounces on him with a Lou Thesz press, and throws wild punches at him! Finally, Lunatic gets tired of throwing punches and resorts to biting Blair on the nose, opening up a small, but noticeable gash on the bridge of Blair’s nose.
BC: Hey! Get that animal off Blair! That’s not food, you nut case! That’s Blair’s nose!
Blair kicks wildly until the referee pulls Lunatic off of him and gives him a stern warning. Lunatic rips his own hair out and tosses it in the air, begging Blair to get up. Blair does and they lock up….Blair knees him in the gut and whips him to the ropes…Blair gets caught with his head down and Lunatic catches him with a swinging neckbreaker! Blair is clearly out of his element and doesn’t know how to handle the unconventional Lunatic…Lunatic pulls him up, whips him into the corner, runs in at him…monkey flip into the center of the ring! Blair goes sprawling across the mat, but Lunatic wastes no time and as Blair goes to get up, he’s met with a running dropkick to the skull. Lunatic’s attack is relentless, he again pulls Blair up…and crushes him with a backbreaker! Blair in serious trouble…
Lunatic goes for a cover…
Blair gets a shoulder up at the last second and the match continues. Lunatic grabs his head and starts smashing it into the mat repeatedly. Blair desperately pokes him in the eye and starts frantically crawling towards the ropes…Lunatic grabs him by the tights and pulls him back in! Blair throws an elbow behind him as a last resort, and connects! Lunatic stumbles backwards but as Blair charges at him Lunatic catches him with a scoop slam! And Lunatic now outstretches his arms like a cross, the symbol of the New Church…and he pulls Blair up, sits him on the top turnbuckle…and he goes for it…SCATTERBRAIN! He connected and Blair is out! The cover!
Just as the ref’s hand was coming down, Blood pulled him out of the ring! Blood has made his way to the ring and the ref has called for the bell! The Raving Lunatic has won by disqualification!
WINNER: By disqualification, The Raving Lunatic
Blood heads straight for Lunatic and he’s throwing wild punches at him! Lunatic fighting back and we have a huge brawl erupting in the ring! Lunatic and Blood going back and forth but from behind! Khrist! Khrist nails Blood and he and Lunatic double team him! Blood getting beaten down by the New Church, but here comes Magnus Thunder! Magnus Thunder storms down to the ring and for the second time tonight, the New Church narrowly escapes! They go through the crowd and Blood is ready to charge after them, but Magnus holds him back…
TT: Blood saved Blair from what was a sure defeat, but the Raving Lunatic remains undefeated in the CWF as he wins by disqualification…what a huge accomplishment for him getting a win over the Hall of Famer! But the big story here is the war that has been waged…Magnus Thunder and Blood are on a crusade to end this New Church!
BC: Well clearly Blair was about to kick out, he was just toying with your little mind, Teddy…so that’s the first thing.
BC: The second thing, is Magnus and Blood better be careful who their messing with….the New Church is for real, those are some dangerous hombres and sure, they both look ready for war, but are they ready for an unholy war? Because that’s what they’re getting into when they mess with the New Church.
TT: Well I’m thinking Magnus and Blood have been in a good number of wars and they’re well prepared for this duo, but back to Blair…man, he didn’t know how to handle the Raving Lunatic!
BC: Would you? I mean geez, Teddy…the guy is psychotic! How do you wrestle a guy who loves to hurt himself? You see what he does when the bell rings! He basically tries to destroy himself and then he says to his opponent… ‘come on! Please destroy me because I can’t figure out how!’…how the hell do you wrestle with that? You don’t! And that’s what makes him so dangerous in the Elimination Chamber!
TT: Well ladies and gentlemen, I’m told Chemical X is still running loose in the back and we have a camera on him…
Astro is in his locker room, lacing up his boots. The door swings open and Gary “Chemical X” Scarletti steps in smile on his face.
CHEMICAL X: Astro, Astro, Astro, how long has it been?
Astro takes one look at him and steps right up to the 6'5 Chemical X's face.
ASTRO: Not long enough, X! So what, are you here to finish the job?
CHEMICAL X: Astro...I don’t know what that bitch of yours put in your head over the years but last time I checked me and you were friends. Hell, I even invited you to my wedding that you failed to attend. But you know Astro, I don't like what I'm hearing. Calling me a jobber, taking credit for my successes over the years, saying you taught me the business! You need to get off my dick, old man! Don't be mad because I made something of myself and you didn't! I mean you really thought I trained Rey Del Dragon? I train wrestlers, not gardeners! It’s like you don't know me at all!
Astro begins to look around and takes a few steps back.
ASTRO: I know you well enough to smell a trap!
CHEMICAL X: Astro, I swear to you I only came here for two reasons. One was to set the record straight. I had nothing to do with that warehouse match!
ASTRO: I don’t believe you!
CHEMICAL X: I knew you wouldn't... so I'll have to prove it to you...
Suddenly the door is smashed open and The Juggernaut steps in with Astro's manager, Stardust, over his shoulder kicking and struggling.
THE JUGGERNAUT: Yeah Its the Juggernaut BITCH and I gotta bitch with me! We bout to have a fuckin’ great party!
ASTRO: X, you son of a bitch!
CHEMICAL X: Calm down! We're not gonna hurt her! Juggy did you hurt her?
THE JUGGERNAUT: No but I think she's about to get fucked in her ass, make her cum out her nose! Yeah!
TT: Sorry about that folks…do we really need to keep watching this? Juggernaut sounds like an idiot and Chemical X should be behind bars…this is ridiculous…
Chemical X tries to hold back a laugh.
CHEMICAL X: No, Juggy! No! That’s not why she's here.
The Juggernaut puts her down and she runs into the arms of Astro.
CHEMICAL X: Stardust! You know damn well I had nothing to do with the explosion during that match! And you know why? Where were we during the warehouse match! Where were we, I know you remember, I know it was a long time ago but you remember!
STARDUST: I have no idea what you're talking about…
CHEMICAL X: Since she's gonna be a dumb bitch about this I'll just let you know... during that match I was fucking her in the driver seat... then in the passenger seat... then in the left rear seat... then in the right rear seat... then on the couch... then on the hood... and finally on the ceiling of my van! Go ahead! Deny it! Deny it you nasty bitch and I’ll fucking post the video on Youtube tomorrow morning!
Astro pushes stardust away and steps up to Chemical X.
CHEMICAL X: Take it easy, Astro! Don’t flip out! I told you I was here for two reasons!
ASTRO: I don’t wanna know!
CHEMICAL X: Listen. Listen! You do wanna know. I want to introduce you to somebody. This is The Juggernaut! This is his first day and I thought I might show him around!
ASTRO: Go piss off somewhere before I beat the hell out of both of you.
THE JUGGERNAUT: Oh shit, you’re from Australia, aren't you? Shit, the last time I was there I left with a Prince Albert, and a new tattoo on my chest that say Long Dicked Willy!
Juggernaut looks up as if he came up with a thought and then looks back down.
THE JUGGERNAUT: WAIT! Did he just say he'd kick the shit out of me!... Who the fuck!
The Juggernaut stepped right up to Astro and gave him a right back hand to the mouth. Astro got knocked back and then ran at the Juggernaut. Suddenly Chemical X stepped in front of Astro with a Walther P-99 9mm handgun and pointed it right at his face.
TT: Are you KIDDING me? Are these two geniuses completely brain dead? This is on live television and he’s pointing a gun at a man?
CHEMICAL X: If you taught me everything I know how did you not see the pistol coming? Juggernaut, listen... You can beat his ass another time.
THE JUGGERNAUT: [slamming his fists together] X, I'm ready to beat his ass NOW!
CHEMICAL X: Back the fuck up, Juggy!
X steps towards Astro.
CHEMICAL X: Listen Astro, consider the record set straight. I was fucking your bitch when you got blown up, and she knows it! Now if you want to continue this game I can let my dog off his leash. Understand?
Astro, who is now beat red, gives Chemical X a death stare and nothing more.
CHEMICAL X: I'll take this as a yes! Good luck tonight, and by the way, we ain’t friends no more!
The Juggernaut storms out of the room. Chemical X slowly backs out keeping the pistol pointed at Astro until he is out of the locker room.
We immediately cut to a shot of CWF Owner and Founder, Mark Xamin, looking flustered, as if this is an emergency appearance. He stands in a corridor of the Bell Center, his tie loosened and two buttons of his shirt undone.
MARK XAMIN: I don’t know who the hell Chemical X thinks he is, and I don’t know who the hell this Juggernaut thinks he is either, but how DARE either of you two brain dead thugs come onto CWF television, curse to your heart’s content and then have the AUDACITY to bring a gun into the building?! The police have been called, security will be escorting you BOTH out of the building and a lawsuit will be filed against the both of you. As for the Juggernaut…I’d fire your ass right here, right now, but that would be too good for you. I’m sure Astro and even Paul Blair would love to get their hands on you, so you know what? I’m gonna keep you around long enough to see that happen. At Super Card V, you will go one on one with Astro…Chemical X is hereby BANNED from any CWF arena, and if ANYONE interferes, including Johnny Gritz or whatever halfassed “gangsta” name the idiot goes by, you will forfeit the match and your contract will be terminated on the spot.
Xamin, visibly angry, takes a deep breath and continues.
MARK XAMIN: And if you ever…EVER….pull a stunt like that again, your career will be dead before it even begins. Do I make myself clear?!
Xamin storms off screen, and we cut back to the press box with Teddy Turnbuckle and “Beautiful” Bobby Crane.
TT: Well that…that was a lot to take in, folks. First of all, I commend Mr. Xamin for his immediate response. It sounds like Chemical X and Juggernaut will be spending the night in jail. What were those morons thinking? Bringing a gun into the arena? Pointing it at someone on live television? Intimidating and physically threatening a woman for all to see? Spreading horrible rumors about Stardust? And folks…Chemical X isn’t the most reputable man in the business to say the least, so take what he said about Stardust with a grain of salt…
BC: I dunno, Teddy…I don’t know what they were thinking, they both must be out of their minds, but at the same time…if you’re a guy in the back, are you not terrified that someone is gonna bust your door down and intimidate you like that?
TT: I have to tell you, I’m afraid they’re gonna show up in the press box up here…but we understand there is extra security on our floor. Chemical X is out of control. But bottom line is, Astro has got to bounce back from this, because he’s up next…the National title will be decided next, ladies and gentlemen…stay with us!
TT: Alright welcome back to Night of Champions, fans…I’m told that Blood is scheduled to come out and make an open challenge for Super Card V…so I guess we’re waiting on that… BC: Man, Super Card is shaping up to be awesome so far. Astro vs Juggernaut, Blood vs whoever accepts his challenge and Paul Blair will be crowned the new CWF World Heavyweight Champion…what a night it’s gonna be!
TT: Figured you’d slip that last bit in, did ya? I don’t know, Bobby, there’s five other guys in that match that are every bit as capable of winning as Blair is…just earlier The Raving Lunatic beat him!
BC: Ok, let’s get some perspective, people…first of all, Blair was assaulted by a big idiot named Juggernaut…second of all, Blair was about to kick out of the Scatterbrain until Blood came out and got him disqualified…that hardly means anything….
TT: Well, again that’s your opinion, Bobby…but nonetheless, I’m told Blood is about to make his way to the ring.
The lights in the arena instantly go out as "So Cold" by Breaking Benjamin begins to play throughout the arena. The crowd doesn't know what to make of it, as some cheers sound, mixed with some boos. The videotron displays a darkened screen with a cross slowly fading in to view. The cross becomes more and more apparent. A wall of flames erupts on the stage, just in front of the entrance. As the blaze slowly begins to fade, Blood is seen on one knee behind the flames, head bowed, and staff in his hand. He wears dark pants with the red cross symbol on each leg, a cape with spiked pauldrons, and a harness keeping it connected to him. As he slowly rises back to his feet, his face can be seen. He is wearing white and black facepaint, giving the illusion of a skull. The lights flash, strobing red throughout the arena. The crowd begins to cheer a little more as Blood makes his slow walk down the aisle.
TT: Over the years, I don't think there's been too many others with such a bonechilling entrance, Bobby!
BC: Are you serious?! I mean, this guy's a joke, Teddy! Eleven years that he's worked for this company off and on...and what does he have to show for it?! He's a former Assault Champion and two time former Unified Champion! He's never won the Heavyweight Championship!
TT: It's not always about the championships you win, Bobby.
BC: I'm just saying. We've had guys like Ricky Chambers and Chemical X who have been in CWF for such a short time compared to Blood, and both have held the World Heavyweight Championship.
Blood approaches the ring and makes his way to the steps. He climbs up the steps and enters the ring. Blood leans his staff in the corner as he makes his way to the opposite side of the ring. He reaches out, grabbing a microphone from the ring announcer as the lights slowly return to normal. His music fades out as he makes his way to the center of the ring.
BLOOD: Many questions have come about after my return last week. The biggest has been...why did I side with Magnus Thunder? After the history the two of us have had, why defend him against the likes of Brian Adams and Paul Blair? For those of you who don't know about these men, let's just say that myself, Magnus, Blair, and Adams...we're no strangers to each other. Myself and Magnus, we've been here in CWF off and on for quite a while now. Although his feud originally started with my father, it continued with me. As for Brian Adams and Paul Blair, they came in shortly after us. I've done battle with each of these men. Myself and Blair, we've competed in matches for the World Heavyweight Championship...a championship which I have yet to hold here in CWF. Myself and Adams, we have competed for the Unified Championship. And if memory serves me correctly, I defeated Brian Adams to win the Unified Championship for the first time in my career. I also defeated him to retain the championship. And finally, myself and Magnus. Although our wars have never been under championship status, they have always been seen as part of one of the biggest feuds in CWF history.
TT: There were some classics during their feud.
BC: Not really. I don't think Blood has ever defeated Magnus.
BLOOD: The point is...I was different back then. I was hellbent on the idea that God was at fault for the tragedies that had happened to me. So what better way to avenge, than to take out the man that I saw as the messenger? I can blame anyone I want, but the fact is, I was vulnerable. My insecurities left me wanting everyone else to suffer just as I did. But the majority of my suffering...it didn't come from the tragedies that had occurred...it came from the tragedies that I had caused! For years I struggled...and I finally broke away from the chains that held me down. Now last week...I had a choice. I had two paths I could take. One path was to turn back to this dark power...something which men like Blair and Adams help influence. I always felt that I had great powers...almost immortal when I was a puppet to this power. But a man showed me a second path. I have called him my ghost...I have called him my enemy...but he's been the only one who has tried to help me. And he has shown me that it takes a greater responsibility to walk the path that he does. The burdens are heavier. The suffering is unimaginable. But the world needs someone who can save them. Unfortunately, that's not why we walk the path that we do. The world needs to save itself, we're just here as guidance. So why did I decide to defend Magnus Thunder? It's simple. One day, I hope that I can save myself. Men like Blair...men like Adams. They can't show me the way to do this. But there's a chance that Magnus can.
BC: Are you listening to this psycho-babble bull?!
TT: It is hard to imagine Blood as not being cynical and ruthless.
BLOOD: The next big event here in CWF...well...it's the biggest event that CWF holds each year! Super Card! An Elimination Chamber to crown the new World Heavyweight Champion. That's a great main event for the show. But I feel that it needs a second main event! And this second event, well...it has a little history. Nearly eleven years ago, CWF had a show they called Friday Night Assault. And on the April 10th edition in 1998, there was a match. A match for the Assault Championship pitting myself against Shadow Maxx...a member of Omega at the time. But it wasn't just any kind of match...it was the one and only to date. It was something which I called a Sacrifice Match! The rules are simple. Two men compete in the match. Barbed wire is wrapped around the ring ropes and posts. Anything is legal. The only way to win...place your opponent in the casket at ringside, first wearing them down enough to where the referee can administer a ten count! Ten seconds...think a cross between a Last Man Standing match and a Casket match. It's brutal...it's hardcore...it's life changing...and at Super Card V...it's happening again!
BC: What the hell is he talking about?!
BLOOD: I don't care who steps up to this challenge. It could be Paul Blair. It could be Brian Adams. Maybe a return for someone like Jeff Jericho...or even a once enemy wanting to do battle one last time. In two weeks...the Sacrifice match returns to CWF! One way...or...another!
Blood drops the microphone to the mat. He walks over to the corner and grabs his staff before climbing out of the ring. "So Cold" by Breaking Benjamin begins to play again as Blood makes his way up the aisle and through the curtains to the back.
TT: Well the challenge has been laid, what a match that should be at Super Card! Regardless of who accepts the challenge, the Sacrifice Match will take place in two weeks from Toronto!
BC: Yeah well, I think this could back fire on Blood. His new goody two-shoes attitude is gonna make him soft…and if you want to survive a sacrifice match…you have to be anything but soft.
TT: Let’s get to the ring and crown a new National Champion!
CWF NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
MR. MARKOWITZ VS ASTRO VS REY DEL DRAGON
Mr. Markowitz and Rey Del Dragon are already in the ring, having made their entrances during the commercial break.
“I Want It All” by Queen hits, and the crowd erupts as Astro steps through the curtain, Stardust at his side. Astro is visibly angry at the altercation he had with Juggernaut and Chemical X earlier. Stardust, as well, is noticeably upset – she looks to be fighting back tears. Astro storms to the ring with a purpose, and Stardust takes her place in his corner. Astro doesn’t even wait for the bell to sound…he dives into the ring and jumps on Dragon immediately. El Traductor screams at Dragon in Spanish, but Dragon is too busy trying to run away from Astro…as he escapes, Astro tackles Markowitz and starts throwing wild punches….he pulls Markowitz up…whips him to the ropes, and connects with a twisting shoulder block! Astro is a house of fire, he pulls Markowitz up again, whips him to the buckles….Markowitz on the rebound, and Astro ROCKS him with a vicious clothesline! At El Traductor’s command, Rey Del Dragon sneaks up behind Astro and jumps on his back, locking on a sleeper hold…Astro grabs him by the mask and flips him over top of him…as Dragon sits up, Astro rears back and boots him hard in the back. Dragon screams out in pain.
Markowitz back to his feet, and he immediately goes for Astro…Astro fends him off and forearms him directly in the chin…Markowitz staggers back to the ropes, and Astro follows up with a clothesline sending Markowitz over the top rope and to the floor! Dragon is alone with Astro, and he’s begging him off for dear life…Traductor is on the outside screaming at Dragon to get up and fight, but Dragon continues to plead with Astro…Astro grabs him by the nose holes of his mask and hauls him across the ring with a slam…Dragon’s mask is twisted backwards and he comically gets up and can’t see anything…he sticks his arms out in front of him in an attempt to gain some sort of direction. Astro stands and looks at him with a bemused look on his face. Finally, Dragon twists his mask back around…but as soon as does, the first thing he sees is a freight train called Astro charging at him at full speed and connecting with a spear that nearly splits Dragon in half! Astro with a cover!
Markowitz breaks it up at the last second. The crowd is on their feet in adulation for Astro who has dominated the match from the outset. Astro stands up and shoves Markowitz into the corner…he mounts the second turnbuckle and starts throwing punches as the crowd counts along. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9…..10! On the tenth blow, Markowitz drops face first to the mat. Dragon, meanwhile, is up and charging at Astro from behind…but Astro hears his high-pitched Spanish war cry and turns around, moves out of the way, and watches as Dragon trips over Markowitz and smashes his face into the bottom turnbuckle. Dragon lays in that position, motionless. El Traductor buries his face in his hands on the outside.
Astro pulls Markowitz up…he hooks Markowitz’s arm and lifts him up…ASTRONOMICAL! He has it locked in and Markowitz is in terrible pain! Traductor squirting water in Dragon’s face to wake him up, but to no avail! Astro has it locked in the center of the ring, Markowitz has nowhere to go! The ref asks Markowitz…and he GIVES UP! MARKOWITZ GIVES UP and we have a new National Champion!
Winner: And NEW CWF National Champion…Astro
TT: He did it! Astro did it, we have a new National Champion!
BC: Ahh! Did he look good or what?!
TT: He looked damn near unstoppable and you have to wonder if he had a little extra motivation after what happened earlier tonight! But all else aside, Astro is the new National Champion!
BC: And that means Astro vs Juggernaut at Super Card V is for the National Title, Teddy! Man alive…that is going to be absolutely explosive!
TT: You’re not kidding and what an emotional moment for Astro and Stardust after that traumatic, sickening incident earlier tonight! Astro is your new National Champion and what a champion he’s going to be!
BC: Well he’s a marked man now, Teddy! Let’s see if he can handle the pressures of being a champion in the CWF!
TT: I understand there’s more activity in the locker room and I’m almost afraid to watch..but let’s head backstage once again…
Mickey Stone is walking through the back of the Bell Center sipping a bottle of water. As he mentally prepares for his match with the M.u.H. and Pledge Allegiance this evening, his curiosity is peaked by the sound of a couple having sex in a maintenance closet. He decides to have a look. He slowly pushes the door open and peers in the room. Perplexed at seeing nothing but still hearing the erotic cries of the couple he walks all the way into the closet. As he does, the door slams shut behind him and he is leveled with a paint can. As his body hits the ground with a sickening thud, Rob Osbourne comes into view holding the paint can. "The Nitemare" ties Stone's hands and feet and shoves a pair of underwear that appears to have Paul Blair’s name stitched into the elastic into the young grappler’s mouth.
Cut back to ringside.
TT: You’ve got to be kidding me. Anyone else got anything ridiculous going on backstage? Is there a full moon tonight or what? This has been a bizarre evening, folks…and it keeps on getting more and more bizarre…and we still have two matches left!
BC: Yeah well it looks like that triple threat main event just became a one on one match! Pledge Allegiance vs The M.u.H!
TT: It certainly looks that way and Nitemare has damn sure already made an impact in his first night back on the job here in the CWF…
BC: I’ve always liked Osbourne! But what the hell is he doing with a pair of Paul Blair’s underwear? That’s a little creepy…
TT: Well…that’s a just question, Bobby. But in any event, I am excited about our next match up.
BC: Magnus Thunder and Brian Adams…what a match this is gonna be. This is the type of match that could main event a pay-per-view…but you’re getting it for free tonight, so take your grubby hands out of your wallet, sit down, shut up, and watch.
TT: Ok…was that really necessary?
BC: Just making sure.
TT: Let’s had to the ring for the first of our two main events!
MAGNUS THUNDER VS “THE FLAWLESS ONE” BRIAN ADAMS
“Represent” by (hed) P.E. hits and Brian Adams pops through the curtain, the crowd greeting him with loud boos and pelting him with garbage. Adams takes it all in stride and remains focused, his eyes locked on the ring. This match has received more hype than the main event, and Adams was here to steal the show – that much was obvious. He climbed through the ropes and posed for the crowd, drawing their ire once more.
And then came the thunder. “Just Like You Imagined” by Nine Inch Nails roars through the arena and Magnus Thunder, all 7’5”, 500 pounds of him, towers through the curtain and down the aisle, his eyes never leaving Adams. In his right hand he wields Stormbringer, his trademark war hammer. He taps it against the steel ring steps for dramatic effect, and then drops it into his corner, before stepping over the top rope and into the ring. The crowd is solidly behind the Nordic powerhouse.
A picture-in-picture, pre-recorded promo by Magnus Thunder appears in the top left hand corner of your screen.
MAGNUS THUNDER: Brian Adams, tonight is your twilight dirge. Tonight you'll find out precisely how many flaws you carry inside your festering sack of flesh. Fall now to justice incarnate, fall now...to Thunder.
TT: This is it! Finally, the score will be settled!
BC: Come on, Adams! You’ve gotta pull through this!
The bell sounds. Neither man moves. The ref waves his arms to signify the match has begun. Magnus slowly steps towards the center of the ring, his massive chest puffed out, his eyes never leaving Adams. Adams looks at the crowd over his shoulder and grins arrogantly…he steps up to Magnus, the top of his head just barely reaching Magnus’ shoulders…he jumps slightly to reach his eye level, wagging his head back and forth arrogantly and using his hand to show that he’s taller than Magnus when he jumps. Magnus doesn’t flinch. Adams starts talking smack at him dramatically, and poking him in the chest as he does. He spins back and walks back towards his corner, then turns back around and starts poking Magnus in the chest again and talking more smack…and again he spins around to walk back to his corner, and then turns back to do more poking and talking, but this time Magnus hauls off and rocks him with a right hand to the forehead that sends Adams down to the mat. Adams immediately bounces back up and smacks Magnus in the chest with an open hand. Magnus’ chest turns bright red in the shape of Adam’s hand, but he doesn’t flinch. Adams’ eyes widen and he looks around frantically…and then slaps Magnus in the chest again…once again, Magnus doesn’t flinch. Adams hauls back again for another smack…but Magnus grabs his wrist on the follow through and squeezes with all his might. Adams drops to his knee in pain…Magnus heaves him by his wrist and tosses him across the mat. Adams slides across the mat towards the ring post…but he masterfully grabs the bottom rope to stop himself from crashing into it, and instead slides himself out of the ring, landing on his feet to regroup.
TT: Adams has his hands full, he can’t even make the big guy flinch!
BC: Magnus is a friggin’ TREE, Teddy…this is completely unfair. When was the last time you saw Butterbean fight Floyd Mayweather? You don’t throw a super heavyweight in the ring with anyone but another super heavyweight!
TT: Well this sure as hell isn’t boxing, Bobby…Adams had better collect himself here and come up with a game plan.
Adams walks around the outside of the ring, fans in the front row taunting him. He threatens to back hand slap a woman in the front row…she flinches and he laughs at her before climbing back up onto the apron. He beckons for the referee to come over to him, and then motions with his hands for Magnus to step back or he won’t get into the ring. Magnus complies, but steps forward slightly as Adams begins to step through the ropes. Adams backs up back onto the apron and uses the ref as a shield. Magnus motions for him to get back in the ring. The ref breaks loose of Adams and yells at him not to touch an official. As Adams argues with the ref, Magnus charges in at him…but it was all a part of Adams’ plan and he sees Magnus coming…he grabs him by the head and drops down to the floor, sending Magnus Thunder’s throat across the top rope. Magnus flings back and crashes to the mat clutching his throat and gasping for air. The crowd boos loudly at Adams’ tactic, but he quickly climbs back into the ring and stomps Magnus furiously. He mounts him and pounds his fist into Magnus’ forehead repeatedly. Magnus tries to throw him off and manages to, though not with the same power as he normally would as he tries to regain his oxygen…but Adams immediately gets back on top of him, pounding at his forehead once more…again Magnus rolls him off…Adams gets up and bounces off the ropes…and he snaps down with a dropkick to the side of Magnus’ head.
Adams gets up poses for the crowd to a smattering of boos, and then climbs to the second turnbuckle…and he DRIVES an elbow into Magnus’ throat! Magnus still gasping for air, and Adams turns him onto his stomach…he grabs Magnus’ leg, lifts it up with all his strength, and places his foot on the back of Magnus’ knee…and he DRIVES Magnus’ knee into the mat! He’s going to take out the big man’s legs, and Magnus, who had just managed to get some oxygen back into his lungs, now favors his knee. Adams pulls his leg up again and DRIVES his knee back down into the mat once more! Now he drags Magnus towards the ropes, just barely able to pull the heaving mass of humanity. He sticks Magnus’ left leg between the middle and bottom rope, and then bends Magnus’ leg back under the bottom rope. Adams then grabs Magnus’ ankle and twists it skywards, the bottom rope giving him added pressure. Magnus bellows out in pain as the ref counts to five for the rope break! Adams releases on four but the damage has been done and Magnus is in a bad way. Adams pulls up the hobbled big man by the hair and whips him to the ropes…but Magnus stands his ground, fighting through the pain and refusing to move. Adams again attempts to whip him to the ropes but this time Magnus pulls him back in and nearly decapitates him with a clothesline! Adams spits high into the air and the crowd roars as Magnus fights through the pain. He takes a moment to walk on his leg and shake it out, but the damage appears to be significant enough to cause him to limp towards Adams to pull him up.
He whips Adams to the ropes and rocks him with a big boot to the chin! Adams slams back from the sheer force of the boot and lays on the mat as flat as a pancake. Magnus drops a massive elbow across his chest. Adams sits up like he’s bad a bad dream and crosses his arms over his chest in pain before flopping back to the mat, his knees holding him up but his head buried in the mat in aguish. Magnus winds up and boots him HARD in the ribs, and Adams bounces up so high he lands on the top turnbuckle, lying across the ropes on an angle! Magnus again winds up and boots him in the ribs…and Adams bounces off the turnbuckle and lands crotch first on the top rope! His eyes bulge and the crowd roars as Magnus shakes the rope, Adams straddling it against his will. When he finishes, Magnus charges at him and ROCKS him with a clothesline that sends him spinning off the top rope and to the arena floor!
Adams reeling on the floor and Magnus goes out after him…he whips him into the guardrail! Adams’ back racked with pain…and Magnus wastes no time…he whips him into the timekeeper’s booth, Adams sprawls over the table, knocking papers and the timekeeper himself all over the place. Magnus roars to a loud pop from the crowd, and goes to pull Adams up…but Adams has the ring bell and he SMASHES it into Thunder’s head, immediately sending the big man to the floor! It was out of the referees view and Adams gets away with it, crawling desperately back into the ring as the referee begins his countout on Magnus!
1….. 2….. 3….. 4….. 5….. 6…. 7….. 8…. 9…. Magnus just barely gets back in!
The crowd roars at Magnus Thunder’s tenacity, but Adams wastes no time! As Magnus staggers to his feet, reeling from the bell shot, Adams flies off the top rope and catches Magnus from behind with a vicious bulldog! Magnus’ head smashes into the mat and Adams crawls over to make the cover!
Thunder gets a shoulder up and the crowd explodes! Adams slams his fist into the mat in frustration and yells at the referee about a slow count. He drags Magnus back to his feet and backs him into the corner…and he manages to get Magnus seated on the top turnbuckle in an incredible and surprised feat of strength shown by Adams…he climbs up to the top with him and he’s setting him up for a frankensteiner! This would surely finish the match…he’s up! But Magnus holds onto him and has him caught….THUNDERSTORM FROM THE TOP! WHAT AN IMPACT!
But Magnus is too hurt to make the cover! Adams lies completely unconscious in the ring and Magnus lies barely able to roll over five two feet away! The crowd is rallying behind Magnus to make the cover…Magnus trying to regain his sense of direction and find Adams…he’s spotted him! Magnus crawling, inching his way over…and he drapes an arm across Adams’ chest!
3!!!! NO, SHOULDER UP!
Brian Adams kicked out of a top rope Thunderstorm! Magnus took too much time to make the cover and everyone in the arena is shocked! Magnus rolls over onto his back and looks towards the heavens. Is this his fate? Is he destined to win tonight? Both men slowly begin inching their way to the ropes…Magnus makes it to his feet first, followed by Adams on the other side of the ring…both men spaghetti legged, they meet in the center of the ring! Adams lands a right hand, and Magnus staggers back…and then comes back with a heavy right hand of his own! Adams flies back but comes back with ANOTHER right hand! And now Magnus, and now Adams, Magnus, Adams, Magnus, Adams…the two exchanging blows in the center of the ring! Both men drop to their knees and continue to exchange blows, and then out of desperation Adams thumbs him in the eye! Magnus, still on his knees and blinded, is in a vulnerable position…Addams sees his chance and with a surge of energy bolts to his feet…and with Magnus on his knees he NAILS him with THE LAST CHAPTER! The Superkick catches Magnus squarely in the chin and he’s out! But now Adams is the one who can’t make the cover, the series of blows in the exchange having taken its toll! Adams flat on his back, Magnus flat on his! Adams stirring and he attempts to block out the pain but it’s too fierce! Adams crawling, slowly inching his way towards Thunder! Almost there…and he lays across Magnus’ chest, weakly hooking the big man’s leg!
3!!!!!!!! NO, KICKOUT!!
Magnus kicked out and Adams is in disbelief! What does he have to do to beat him? Adams gets to his feet in a fit of rage and stomps Magnus furiously…he pulls the big man up and sticks his head between his legs…he’s going for Starstruck! But Magnus powers out of it and counters with a back body drop that sends Adams eight feet in the air! Adams crashes to the mat like he’s been in a plane crash and Magnus drops back to his knees, using the ropes to hold himself up and fully understanding that he just dodged a huge bullet.
Magnus wills himself back to his feet and pulls Adams up…he whips him to the ropes…Adams ducks a boot….bounces back….and ducks a clothesline…he changes his direction and Magnus spins to keep up, Adams using his speed to his advantage….and Adams flies at him with a cross body block! Magnus staggers back but the ropes hold him up and now he has Adams up! And he lifts Adams up onto his shoulder…takes him to the center of the ring…DEATH VALLEY DRIVER! He caught him and Adams is out! A cover!
Adams kicked out and this crowd is on its feet in appreciation of the war! Magnus immediately pulls him back up….and lifts him high in the air…POWERBOMB! And he holds on…SIT DOWN POWERBOMB! THE THUNDERSTORM! And this time he adds a twist to it for added impact! He hangs on for the cover!
WINNER: Magnus Thunder
TT: Magnus did it! Magnus held on for the win and my GOD what a match! What a match and if that isn’t five stars I don’t know what is!
BC: I’m amazed! What a performance!
TT: And love him or hate him, Brian Adams took Magnus Thunder to the limit and it a split second may have been the difference! This crowd is on its feet saluting both men!
Magnus, barely able to stand, celebrates his victory with the crowd. Suddenly, Adams, groggy and barely conscious, but with a look of rage on his face, sneaks up behind Magnus and low blows him! Magnus’ music stops and the crowd is furious as Magnus drops to his knees. Adams stomping on him wildly!
Suddenly, the lights go out. Complete darkness. The crowd erupts with anticipation of what they’ll see when they restore power. And when they do…Adams is unconscious in the center of the ring, a casket is set up at ringside…and Blood stands over him with a dented steel chair. The crowd roars as Blood comes to Magnus Thunder’s aid…and he’s rolling Adams towards the open casket, perhaps sending a message to whoever accepts his open challenge at the same time as taking out Adams! Adams nearly in the casket but wait a minute!
Magnus Thunder slams the door of the casket shut, saving…Adams?! Blood looks at Magnus, confused…Magnus climbs into the ring and holds back Blood, calmly telling him something. Meanwhile, Adams escapes, groggily but hastily crawling up the aisle and through the curtain. Blood nods at Magnus and Magnus pats him on the back before the two begin their way back up the aisle.
TT: I don’t know what that was about but Magnus may have just saved Adams’ bacon as he stops Blood from trapping him in that casket!
BC: It looked like Magnus talked him out of doing something heinous! Looks like Magnus is the voice of reason…
TT: Ladies and gentlemen…we have to take one final commercial break! We will be right back with our main event!
TT: Alright, welcome back to Night of Champions, ladies and gentlemen! I don’t know how on earth anyone is supposed to follow our last match up…Magnus Thunder and Brian Adams putting on an absolute classic for our fans here tonight! And what a night it’s been, but now it’s time for the grand finale!
BC: We’re about to find out who the final entrant in the Elimination Chamber will be two weeks from now at the mother of all events, the biggest show in CWF history…Super Card V!
TT: Super Card V is coming to you live on pay-per-view on the 28th of March, just two weeks away…tonight we’ve added to the mega card, as Astro will defend his newly won National Championship against The Juggernaut! And Blood will have a sacrifice match with whomever accepts his open challenge!
BC: And don’t forget…U2 will be playing the half time show! You’ve gotta be kidding, I can’t wait!
TT: Don’t you dare miss it, folks! But the wait is over…let’s get to the ring for our main event!
PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE VS THE M.U.H.
TT: Mickey Stone has been cut from this match due to the attack by Rob Osbourne earlier tonight…this is now a one on one match, the final opportunity for a main event spot at the biggest show ever! This is for all the marbles!
“Rize” by Median hits and The M.u.H. steps out from the back to a loud mixed reaction. He walks to the ring with a glint in his eye, knowing this is his last chance. He barely even notices the crowd, he’s entered his zone. He climbs into the ring and doesn’t even bother to pose for the crowd. He puts his head down in his corner and tries to stay focused.
“Iron Man” by Black Sabbath. The crowd absolutely explodes as the legendary Pledge Allegiance darts through the curtain. He doesn’t walk, but runs down the aisle and slides into the ring. He raises his arms for the crowd and they respond with a loud roar. Pledge has been in many big matches in his career and this one, to him, was no different. He was here to take care of business.
The bell sounds. Both men lock up in the center of the ring. MuH knees him in the gut and Pledge hunches over….MuH with an elbow to the back of his head! Pledge drops to his knees but immediately fights back with right hand to the gut! And now a left! And now a right to MuH’s jaw, and a left! Pledge throws him to the ropes…SPINEBUSTER! MuH hits the mat and scurries back to his corner, but Pledge is all over him and drives a knee into his gut! MuH is the one hunched over now and Pledge rears back and knees MuH in the face with such force that he nearly takes himself off his own feet! The crowd behind Pledge as he pulls MuH back up, whips him to the corner…and charges in! But MuH gets his boots up and Pledge gets rocked in the jaw! Pledge staggers back and MuH flies at him with a flying forearm, knocking Pledge down to the mat…Pledge bounces back up and gets nailed with a clothesline…he’s back up, and gets nailed with another clothesline! Pledge again to his feet, MuH off the ropes…flying headscissors and Pledge goes down! MuH quickly over to him and he pulls him up…he twists Pledge’s arm behind his back and catches him with a scoop slam, Pledge’s arm forced to break the fall! And MuH appears to be targeting Pledge’s arm.
MuH stomping him in the shoulder, perhaps to take away the Pledgehammer! He’s got him locked in a shoulder claw…Pledge reaching for the ropes, and he’s got them! MuH gives him no time to recover, he forces him back into the center of the ring and goes for a DDT! But Pledge stays on his feet and instead, MuH slams himself backwards onto the mat! Pledge grabs his legs and he’s going for a sharpshooter! He has his legs through….MuH pulls him in, SMALL PACKAGE!
Both men to their feet and Pledge nails him with a dropkick! MuH stagger back to the turnbuckle and Pledge charges in at him….MuH moves and Pledge’s shoulder hits the ring post! Pledge slumped over the middle turnbuckle and MuH pulls him out…GERMAN SUPLEX! MuH hangs on and pulls him back up….spins him around…fisherman buster! Pledge in a bad way! MuH to the top rope! And he nails it, FROG SPLASH! A cover!
Kickout at the last second!
Pledge kicked out from instinct and MuH can’t believe it! MuH pulls him up and whips him to the ropes…Pledge reverses…no MuH reverses….Pledge runs into the referee! The ref has been knocked unconscious and there’s no one to keep this thing under control! Pledge checking on the ref…MuH from behind! LOW BLOW! No! Pledge caught his foot! Pledge saw it coming and now MuH is in trouble!
BC: Pledge has MuH in a bad place now. How different would this match have been if Mickey Stone had not been incapacitated by Rob Osbourne earlier this evening?
TT: You have to think the match may have gone a different way. MuH and Stone may have worked together to bring the red, white, and blue hero to his knees.
BC: I hear Trixie Lee has been working on that for years with no success...
TT: I’m not even going to respond to that. Uh oh, this could be it. Pledge is signaling for the Pledge Hammer.....WHAT THE....
Just as Pledge sets MuH up for the finisher, "The Nitemare" Rob Osbourne hops the guard rail, slides under the bottom rope, grabs Pledge by the shoulder and spins him around. As Pledge's face displays a combination of rage and and shock. Osbourne kicks him in the stomach and in one fluid motion drops him head first with a DDT.
TT: BADD DREAM! BADD DREAM! BADD DREAM!
BC: I haven't seen anyone execute a DDT so textbook perfectly since...well...to be honest with you, since the last time I saw a Badd Dream by Osbourne. Pledge is going to be irrate. Look at MuH, he doesn't know what to think....
TT: He seems to think Osbourne has done him a favor. He climbs the turnbuckle and executes a frog splash across the fallen Pledge Allegiance. What a cheap way to earn a title shot!
BC: I don't think it’s going to be that easy...look!
Osbourne pulls MuH up off of Pledge almost as soon as he lands the frog splash and gives him a Badd Dream as well. Both men, Pledge and MuH are on their backs in the middle of the ring...Osbourne walks to the ropes and demands a mic.
OSBOURNE: You know, I've been back in the CWF for a week or so now and I can't help but wonder who in the blue hell scheduled this match? Why does this no talent hack [kicks MuH] get a match to give him a shot at the world title? And Mickey Stone? Mickey [bleep]ing Stone? Are you serious? That guy went down harder than Rihanna taking a shot from Chris Brown. THIS [points to the men in the ring] is the best the CWF can do? This should be easy. Oh, by the way, I want to serve notice to a few of the boys in the back. Astro, you got lucky tonight. Well, let's be honest, every time you win a match, its luck. But your luck just ran out. See, unlike those ass clowns that think they can just walk back in hereafter years of being gone and demand a world title shot, I know I have to climb the ladder. And trust Astro, no one climbs a ladder like Rob Osbourne. Consider yourself warned, I’m coming for your belt.
And Blood. I accept your little open challenge for Super Card. Let's see if the fed closes or you quit again. Every time you have ever been scheduled in a match with me, one of those two happens. I'm banking on the latter. See you bitches next week.
Osbourne tosses the mic and slides out of the ring and backs up the ramp as Pledge rolls over onto his stomach, head trickling blood. He sees Osbourne backing up the ramp and seethes with hatred then he notices MuH lying next to him out cold.
TT: Leave it to Pledge to capitalize...he covers MuH....1........2........3!!!!!!! PLEDGE WINS! PLEDGE WINS!
BC: Looks like Pledge will join Paul Blair, Khrist, Brian Adams, Magnus Thunder, and The Raving Lunatic at Super Card for a chance to reclaim CWF gold and the world heavyweight championship! Can you believe this?
TT: Can you believe what Pledge is going to do to Osbourne?
BC: Now why would you say that, Pledge had this match won, and Osbourne didn't COST him the match...he just delayed the inevitable.
TT: You can bet that this has just begun between Osbourne and Pledge.
Pledge celebrates in the ring but with an eye towards Osbourne, who is standing at the top of the ramp staring him down. Pledge locks eyes with him and the two have a stare down.
TT: Pledge is going to Super Card, Astro is your new National Champion, Nitemare is taking on Blood in a sacrifice match at Super Card, and Pledge is seething at Nitemare, it’s only a matter of time before these two clash!
BC: What a night!
TT: What a night indeed but we are out of time, fans! We will see you next week for Saturday Night Showdown! Good night from Montreal!
Pledge and Osbourne stare each other down and that’s the image we’re left with as we go off the air.
Fade to black.
Until next time….