Of Heaven or Hell I have no power to sing,
I cannot ease the burden of your fears,
Or make quick-coming death a little thing,
Or bring again the pleasure of past years,
Nor for my words shall ye forget your tears,
Or hope again for aught that I can say,
The idle singer of an empty day.
But rather, when aweary of your mirth,
From full hearts still unsatisfied ye sigh,
And, feeling kindly unto all the earth,
Grudge every minute as it passes by,
Made the more mindful that the sweet days die—
—Remember me a little then I pray,
The idle singer of an empty day.
The heavy trouble, the bewildering care
That weighs us down who live and earn our bread,
These idle verses have no power to bear;
So let me sing of names remembered,
Because they, living not, can ne’er be dead,
Or long time take their memory quite away
From us poor singers of an empty day.
Dreamer of dreams, born out of my due time,
Why should I strive to set the crooked straight?
Let it suffice me that my murmuring rhyme
Beats with light wing against the ivory gate,
Telling a tale not too importunate
To those who in the sleepy region stay,
Lulled by the singer of an empty day.
Folk say, a wizard to a northern king
At Christmas-tide such wondrous things did show,
That through one window men beheld the spring,
And through another saw the summer glow,
And through a third the fruited vines a-row,
While still, unheard, but in its wonted way,
Piped the drear wind of that December day.
So with this Earthly Paradise it is,
If ye will read aright, and pardon me,
Who strive to build a shadowy isle of bliss
Midmost the beating of the steely sea,
Where tossed about all hearts of men must be;
Whose ravening monsters mighty men shall slay,
Not the poor singer of an empty day.
- William Morris
Ladies and gentlemen, for the last time in 2009…
We are the pinnacle.
We are the guiding light.
We are the standard of excellence.
This is the CWF…
Fade in to a sold out United Center in Chicago, Illinois. Fake snow drizzles down on the raucous crowd of 25,000 strong. Red, green, silver, and gold fireworks explode at the entrance way and shoot down the aisle, bursting over the ring. The set features a huge Christmas tree, decorated with bells and lights, garland and the CWF logo resting on the top in place of the star. The video screen is bordered by Christmas lights and garland, and fake snow is set up on the ground, creating a wintery scene, complete with pine trees and snowmen. The ring itself is surrounded by red pads. The ropes are red and green, and the turnbuckles feature the CWF logo in red and green, alternating colors between each buckle. The mat is grey and has a red ribbon stamped in the middle with “Season’s Greetings” handwritten across it in gold. The apron is deep red with “Season’s Beatings” handwritten across it in gold as well.
Standing at ringside is Teddy Turnbuckle and “Beautiful” Bobby Crane, who welcome us to the show as the fake snow sprinkles down on them.
TT: Welcome everyone to the United Center! Welcome to Chicago, Illinois! Welcome to the final show of 2009! And yes indeed, welcome to the CWF’s Night of Champions IV: Season’s Beatings! Hello everyone and happy holidays! I’m Teddy Turnbuckle, and with me, as always, is “Beautiful” Bobby Crane…and Bobby, what a tremendous evening we have ahead of us to close out 2009!
BC: My God, Teddy…you have the worst case of dandruff I’ve ever seen in my life!
TT: …he’ll be here all night, ladies and gentlemen! And what a night it should be as Magnus Thunder defends the CWF World Heavyweight Championship against “The Radiant One” Roland Ulv, in a match where if Roland Ulv loses, he will be forced to retire from the CWF here tonight!
BC: It can’t happen, Teddy! The CWF without Roland Ulv is like Christmas without Santa Clause…Easter without the damn bunny! St. Patrick’s Day without the little leprechaun! New Year’s Eve without the baby! Valentine’s Day without…
TT: …alright, we get it! Roland Ulv has stepped in it tonight after his antics in Norway last week, and he’ll have no choice but to defeat Magnus Thunder if he wants to remain in the CWF! Also tonight, will the big reveal finally happen? Will the Nitemare’s Nightmare show himself tonight as “The Nitemare” Rob Osbourne battles this mysterious assailant inside a steel cage?
BC: I’ll tell you what, Christmas is coming early for Rob Osbourne tonight, because I have it on good authority that the Nitemare’s Nightmare WILL be revealed tonight, and between you, me, and the millions watching at home on network television tonight, Rob Osbourne is on Santa’s naughty list this year…and his gift tonight will be anything but nice!
TT: How about this one…Mariano Fernandez takes on Chemical X of the Horsemen! And this one isn’t about titles, it’s about pride…Mariano Fernandez could deal a huge blow to the Horsemen morale with a victory tonight!
BC: Well hey, look around you, Teddy! This isn’t Argentina. This isn’t England. This isn’t Australia, and this damn sure isn’t the land of the fjord monkey, Norway…this is Chicago, Illinois…Mariano Fernandez can’t be this big international superstar he was pretending to be overseas anymore! Chemical X feels right at home in the windy city, and tonight he’s gonna put the hit on Mariano Fernandez, Al Capone style!
TT: Speaking of the Windy City, Bobby… “The Windy City Madman” Terry Richards, who was scheduled to wrestle you tonight, has been suspended indefinitely after an altercation on the plane ride home from Norway last Sunday! That means by default, he has been forced to forfeit that match to you tonight!
BC: Just another victory for Bobby Crane, Teddy! I knew the little punk was afraid of me! The whole damn world knew it, so he went and got himself suspended! Ha! Well, Terry…it was the smartest move of your life! Let this be a lesson to you, kid…don’t mess with the Beautiful One.
TT: Wait a minute…you’re taking this as a legitimate victory? You never pinned him! You never made him submit! He wasn’t counted out, he wasn’t disqualified…the match never happened!
BC: Because he was too scared to show up! That counts as a submission victory! Or, if you prefer, we can ring the damn bell and count him out…either way, your winner, and the most beautiful man on the planet…BOBBY CRANE!
TT: Give me a break! But nonetheless folks, two other titles will be on the line tonight as Degradation defends the CWF World Tag Team Championship against Death Squad, and Bob Osbourne defends the CWF Unified Championship against Jimmy Johnston!
BC: There could be three title changes here tonight! If anyone can beat Degradation, it’s Death Squad…and Jimmy Johnston is capable of beating Bob Osbourne…
TT: It could happen, indeed…and the match I’ve been looking forward to all week…the Pledge Allegiance Memorial Cup match…Paul Blair takes on Shawn “Hellstone” Hillard and the legendary Jimmy Blast in a three way dance to determine the first ever recipient of the Pledge Allegiance Memorial Cup.
BC: You mean this is going to be an annual award? We have to watch this crap EVERY year?
TT: Indeed, and what an honor it should be for all three men here tonight! But first on the docket, folks…the ladies of the CWF will do battle as Danielle Lopez battles Ashley Mastrangelo and the promising newcomer, Jinx!
BC: Now hey, this I can get into. Danielle Lopez returns to the ring, and I heard that bubble ass she’s got going has doubled in size, so you just know it’ll be eating her trunks the whole match…
TT: …you’re disgusting.
BC: …and Ashley Mastrangelo, well…I see the way she looks at me. Forget Santa, come sit on Bobby’s lap!
TT: Will you stop? No wonder you’re single!
BC: Hey, it’s not like I’m Mariano Fernandez, Teddy…it’s ok to be single, especially if you get regular action…and when you’re as good looking as I am, well…my looks do all the work for me. But this Jinx girl…well, damn…speaking of Mariano Fernandez, that kid has been drooling all over himself watching her promos, but from what I hear, that chick can wrestle.
TT: Absolutely, she is a fine athlete and that’s why she’s in the CWF.
BC: Mariano might be wise to stay away…she might knock his block off.
TT: Well hold on a minute…before we get to our opening match, we’ve got a black SUV in the parking lot, and you know what that means…
BC: The Nitemare’s Nightmare is in the house!
Cut to the parking lot. A black SUV screeches up to the entrance, music bumping from inside. The large mystery assailant steps out holding a pair of bolt cutters. He kicks open the door to the arena and enters as the black SUV screeches away.
Cut back to ringside.
TT: Well, he’s here!
BC: Looks like we’ve got ourselves a match, Teddy!
TT: We do indeed, and that match will happen later tonight inside a steel cage! But right now, Dennis Donnelly is standing by with Danielle Lopez to set up our first match of the evening!
Cut to the backstage area where Dennis Donnelly is standing by with Danielle Lopez, Kevin Styles and J.T. Banks.
Dennis Donnelly: Hello everyone, I'm standing here with Danielle Lopez, Kevin Styles and J.T. Banks. Now first off Danielle. Just where in the hell is your husband?
Danielle Lopez: Well James isn't at the arena because he's currently on the search for my brother Enrique.
Dennis Donnelly: Oh right. Are there any leads on his whereabouts and are there also any leads on who may have kidnapped him?
Danielle Lopez: Well right now there are no leads as to who kidnapped him, but we do have possible leads as to where he is.
Dennis Donnelly: And what are those leads?
Danielle Lopez: No comment Dennis. I can't reveal the leads until it's appropriate to reveal those leads.
Dennis Donnelly: Well anyways. Now how are you feeling for your triple threat match against Ashley Mastrangelo and Jinx?
Danielle Lopez: Well I'm very focused on the match. I know that I can't mess around and since I have a thirty-three percent chance on winning the match, well I know that I have to work harder to win the match and I also know that I will give it my all out there in the ring and put myself in the best position to win. I plan on coming out of tonight's match with the victory and it will happen whether my opponents like it or not.
Dennis Donnelly: Kevin, J.T? What do you guys think about Danielle's ambitions for victory?
Kevin Styles: Well she's serious about winning. Hell she's always focused on the task at hand despite the fact that she has to find out who kidnapped her brother.
J.T. Banks: The focus that she has is not surprising to us. I mean her husband is James Baker after all. She will show the world why she is as good as we all say she is and that's not a guarantee everybody. No that's a fact and all I have left to say is to just watch her in the ring and you will know why she is as good as we all say she is.
Danielle Lopez, Kevin Styles and J.T. Banks all walk off camera. Cut back to ringside.
TT: We Alright, a focused Danielle Lopez is all set to get this thing started! Let’s head to the ring for our opening bout!
Cut to the ring.
Ring Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, our opening contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first…from San Diego, California…weighing in at 117 pounds…DANIELLE LOPEZ!
"Pardon Me" by Incubus hits and Danielle Lopez emerges from behind the curtain to an enormous reception from the crowd. She points to the crowd and then does a pose on the ramp. Danielle then walks down the ramp high fiving the fans along the way. Danielle then slides through the bottom rope and does a couple of cheerleader poses before going to the corner to await her opponent with a prepared expression on her face.
Ring Announcer: Introducing second…from Cleveland, Ohio…weighing in at 127 pounds…. ASHLEY MASTRANGELO!
“3” by Britney Spears hits and Ashley Mastrangelo walks out from the back to a good pop. A few fans in the front row make cat calls towards her as she walks down the aisle and hops up onto the apron, stepping through the ropes and into the ring.
Ring Announcer: And finally…from Tokyo, Japan…weighing in at 128 pounds…making her CWF debut…JINX!
The lights in the arena go out, Taiko drums can be heard thumping loudly in the darkness, the eery atmosphere silences the capacity crowd, the drums then slowly fade and a Small handheld Monkey drum can be heard in the distance, Over the PA system a deep male voice then counts down in Japanese from five to one, Go...Shi...San...Ni...Ichi...All noise then ceases and a loud explosion via Metsubushi (Ninja Smoke Bomb) force the spotlight to focus on the center of the stage, the lights come on at the same time as "Hanging On By A Thread" filters through the speakers, through the smoke walks Jinx wearing a black Hijiakata Shinsengumi style female suit, one side of her face has the full make-up of a Geisha. She strides with a purpose towards to the ring, slides under the bottom rope, climbs up to nearest turnbuckle and sits on the top, staring up at the aisle awaiting her opponent as the music slowly ceases playing.
TT: Quite an entrance for the new comer…
BC: No kidding, let’s see if she can back it up.
*DING DING DING!*
TT: Well here we go, the opening bout of Night of Champions IV: Season’s Beatings is underway!
Ashley and Danielle walk out to the center of the ring while Jinx looks on from the corner, acting timid. Ashley and Danielle go to lock up but Danielle puts on the brakes and says something to Ashley, pointing at Jinx. Jinx, looking nervous in the corner, doesn’t move. They both nod at each other and move towards her, closing in as she gets trapped in her corner. Suddenly, Jinx explodes out of her corner, landing a high kick to the side of Ashley’s head, and a leaping spin kick to the chin of Danielle Lopez. Both women stagger backwards and Jinx charges out of the corner and leaps into the air with a split legged double kick, sending both Ashley and Danielle stumbling into opposite corners, slumping over the middle turnbuckle. Jinx runs hard at Danielle and steps up onto her back, flipping in the air and twisting to face Ashley. She hits the ground running and the clap reverberates through the arena as Jinx connects with a dropkick between the shoulder blades on Ashley!
BC: Uh…what just happened here?
TT: Well, I do believe she’s living up to the hype…
Danielle charges out of the corner at Jinx, but Jinx leap frogs her…PELE! Jinx is a house of fire and the crowd roars as she poses in the middle of the ring, curtseying like a good school girl, as if she hadn’t just blown everyone’s mind. She walks over and pulls Ashley to her feet…Ashley elbows her in the gut and rocks her with a European uppercut! Sensing she’s got Jinx on the defensive, Ashley aggressively chops her into the corner. Danielle gets to her feet and rushes over to help, and the two stomp Jinx down to the mat!
TT: Well two heads are better than one!
BC: Yeah it might take both of them to contain this explosive offense of Jinx…damn. We’ve got a Latina, a blonde, and an Asian wrestling around in spandex…is it hot in here?
TT: (laughing) I guess Christmas has come early for Bobby Crane!
Danielle slides under the ropes and Ashley flips Jinx over onto her stomach. Danielle splits Jinx’s legs and pulls her into the post! Jinx’s face turns to agony and Danielle holds her there as Ashley skips innocently to the opposite corner.
BC: You think that’s the first time she’s had a pole between her legs?
TT: Would you stop?
Ashley’s look turns from innocence to devious as she charges full steam at the defenseless Jinx and connects with a low drop kick directly to the mouth! Jinx rolls over on the mat in pain clutching her mouth as Danielle Lopez reenters the ring and high fives Ashley. Ashley turns to pull Jinx up but Danielle double crosses her, grabbing her by the hair and slamming her back to the mat!
TT: Danielle Lopez hasn’t forgotten what Ashley did to her just a few weeks ago on an episode of Saturday Night Showdown! Remember it was Bruno of Death Squad who supplied her with a set of brass knuckles, and it was Ashley who cracked Danielle with them, putting her out of action for weeks!
BC: Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, Teddy!
As Danielle mounts Ashley and starts throwing wild fists and forearms at her, the camera zooms in on Jinx, who is busted open from the mouth, her lips smeared with blood. Sickeningly, she grins through bloodstained teeth and gets to her feet, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand and seeing the blood, her smile grows wider. She sneaks up behind Danielle Lopez and tucks her head under her arm…REVERSE DDT! Danielle’s skull bounces off the mat but Jinx wraps her legs around Lopez’s midsection and holds on with a modified dragon sleeper! Danielle kicks her legs trying to escape but Jinx has it cinched in too tightly. Ashley gets to her feet and runs to the ropes…and comes at Jinx with another low dropkick to the face! But Jinx smoothly leans back like something out of the Matrix and Ashley sails over her, getting tangled up in the ropes. Jinx releases Danielle and walks over to Ashley…she ties her arms and legs together with Ashley’s and flips over the ropes…tarantula hold!
BC: Oh my God! This woman is dangerous!
TT: You’re not kidding! She’s bleeding from the mouth, it almost looks like she’s painted her face like Heath Ledger’s Joker for God’s sake, and she’s enjoying it! And look at this hold, the torque on Ashley’s joints is scary!
BC: Did you see the hold she had Danielle in? She was turning purple!
The referee forces Jinx to break the hold, so she does. Ashley flops over to the mat and Jinx lands gracefully on the apron. Danielle slowly begins to get to her feet, and Jinx climbs to the top rope. As Danielle loses her balance and falls to one knee, Jinx jumps up and twists her back to Danielle. Danielle stands up but as she does, Jinx flips and twists off the top rope with a corkscrew moonsault! She connects perfectly!
TT: Unbelievable! She calls that Sensorium! And here’s a cover!
TT: Ashley breaks the count and just barely!
Ashley stomps on the back of Jinx’s head. Jinx slumps over Danielle but Ashley pulls her up by her hair. She whips her to the ropes…sunset flip! A cover by Ashley!
BC: She wasn’t gonna get her with that!
TT: She was trying to catch Jinx by surprise and that may be a last resort, because no one knew what to expect with this newcomer and she’s given everybody more than they bargained for! Who knows what else could be in her arsenal!
Jinx and Ashley both get to their feet at the same time. Ashley desperately throws a high kick at her, but Jinx ducks and boots her in the gut…she hoists her up and spins as she comes down…BLACK SYMPHONY!
BC: Holy mother….
TT: What a move! She calls it Black Symphony and Ashley is out! Here’s the cover!
*DING DING DING!*
Ring Announcer: Here is your winner… JINX!
TT: What a debut!
BC: I’m speechless, Teddy! I, Bobby Crane, am speechless.
TT: What a feat by Jinx tonight.
BC: You mean defeating the top two stars in the women’s division?
TT: No, I mean managing to render you speechless. That might be a first. But in any event, what a showing…you never knew what to expect next from this Japanese wrestling machine and she did it with her mouth busted open in the early going!
BC: Who in their right mind is gonna get in the ring with her after tonight?
TT: I have no idea but it’s gonna be a hell of a ride watching this woman in action in 2010! Folks, I am getting word that we have a camera backstage…
BC: Here we go…
TT: Let’s head back there and see what’s going on.
Cut to the backstage area of the United Center. As familiar faces pass back and forth, the camera comes slowly to a rest on a fresh new face here in the CWF, probationary reporter Mike Heftle. Mike, however, is anything but fresh, or new. His face is thick with wrinkles and spotty from extended periods of direct sunlight. His hair, gray as Saint Nick’s beard, recedes nearly far enough back on his head to be considered a Friar Tuck. Not quite though. Wearing a suit, that looks as though it’s also seen its fair share of time on this earth, a tie, dull from repeated wash cycles, dress shoes, scuffed as though he’d just played a game of soccer with a piece of concrete and white socks, it was evident Mike Heftle’s golden years had passed. Slightly bulging biceps hinted at once dashed dreams of becoming a wrestler himself. Suddenly a door to Mike’s left swings open and in walks former RWA superstars Ray and Cyril O’Reilly followed closely in toe by former Professional female Wrestler Suzanne. Their arrival seems to excite Mike Heftle as he smiles widely at the sight of them. Fumbling in his pocket for a moment Mike finally pulls a small hand held tape recorder out.
Mike Heftle: Ray! Cyril! Welcome. Gentlemen, let me be the first here to welcome you to the CWF.
Mike, although not having done anything strenuous, breathed heavy as he blurted out his statement to the O’Reilly brothers. Ray and Cyril stop dead in their tracks. Suzanne, who’d been concentrating her attention on her cell phone, bumps into Cyril from behind. Ray shoots her an agitated glance and Cyril drops his eyes to the floor. Ray turns his attention back to Mike but the aggravation has not left his face.
Ray O’Reilly: Who said anything about us joining the CWF?
Mike Heftle’s eyes, much like Cyril’s, quickly found the floor. Ray has a way of doing that with people. Suzanne, who still hadn’t been paying too much attention to the situation at hand, now found herself searching the floor between Cyril and Mike for something that wasn’t there. Not quite understanding what the two were looking at, she rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to her phone.
Mike Heftle: No one, no one said that. No one official anyway. It was just something I’d heard and, well, what with you being here… I guess I just assumed…
Ray O’Reilly: That’s your problem right there. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my time on this dirt ball it’s you never assume anything unless, of course, you’re assuming the worst. You see… I didn’t catch your name.
Mike Heftle: Mike He…
Ray is quick to cut Mike off before he can even finish his last name.
Ray O’Reilly: You see Mike, when you assume, you make an ass out of you and me. Get it? Assume. Ass – U – M – E.
Cyril smiles and giggles even though he’s heard this one before. Ray slaps his brother on the back and, for the first time, cracks a smile as well. Ray turns to Suzanne for a reaction as she, too, let out a chuckle. Turns out, however, she was just laughing at something she’d read on her phone. Ray rolls his eyes and turns back to face Mike. Heftle still holds his tape recorder close to Ray’s mouth even though he isn’t speaking. For a second, things get awkward.
Cyril O’Reilly: Can we go RayRye? This guy’s freaking me out.
Ray O’Reilly: Yeah, let’s go. He’s freaking me out too.
Mike attempts to interject but before he can get out a word the O’Reilly brothers have already broke past him and begun to walk away. The two leave Heftle behind, mouth agape, still recording the sound of their feet walking away. Suzanne glances up from her cell to find herself standing alone. Well, Mike was still there, but still, alone. Mike smiles stupidly at Suzanne, mouth still slightly agape, but doesn’t receive one in return. Instead Suzie simply drops her attention back to her phone and takes off double time down the hallway after Ray and Cyril. Mike shakes his head then finally shuts off his tape recorder. Once off he speaks.
Mike Heftle: Well, so much for my first day.
The scene fades with a shot of one sad, beat up looking, Mike Heftle. A CWF superstar walks past and he forces a smile before we cut back to ringside.
TT: Poor Mike Heftle, he’s just trying to do his job!
BC: I saw him backstage earlier. Dude smells like Werther’s originals and bengay.
TT: Well, in any event folks, we have to take a short commercial break…don’t go anywhere, we’ll be right back and the CWF Unified Championship will be on the line!
TT: Alright folks, welcome back to the CWF’s Night of Champions IV: Season’s Beatings, and coming up next it’s Jimmy Johnston’s second crack at becoming the CWF Unified Champion for the first time…but to do it, he’ll have to go through Bob Osbourne who has been on a roll for the past few months and is showing no signs of slowing down.
BC: Jimmy Johnston will have to put on the performance of his career tonight if he wants to get through the CWF’s first ever third generation star!
TT: Well hold on just a minute…they are telling me we have a camera crew back stage...
We cut to Israel Steele's locker room. Steele is lacing up his boots, when Bob Osbourne walks in.
BOB: You remember the plan little man?
Steele: Uh.... "little man"?
BOB: Oh yeah I forgot, you’re like seven feet tall.
Steele: Yeah....but yes, I do remember the plan.
BOB: Alight. Remember, I don't want to be hit by you OR your boot.
Steele: Oh, you won't. This thing is like a missile. And it’s locked for JJ's melon!
BOB: (looks at watch) Well, in Bob-time, it's time to go crack some heads.
Steele: Okay then. See ya!
We cut back to Teddy Turnbuckle and Bobby Crane.
TT: I wonder what that was about?
BC: All's fair in love and war! And Bob is bringing in the reinforcements!
TT: Well, at six feet eight inches tall and over three hundred pounds, Israel Steele is DEFINTILEY an asset!
BC: Well the time for talking is over, it's time for a fight!
Cut to the ring.
Ring Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, the following match-up is scheduled for one fall and it is for the CWF UNIFIED CHAMPIONSHIP! First, the challenger, making his way to the ring...hailing from London, England… weighing in at 275 pounds..."DOUBLE J" JIMMY JOHNSTON!
Mozart's Piano Sonata plays throughout the arena as the crowd starts cheering for the big Englishman. Jimmy Johnston steps out to the entrance holding an ornately wrapped silver gift box, he stops and begins bowing for the Chicago crowd. He gives a smirk as he takes a glimpse at the crowd before continuing down the aisle. Johnston reaches the ring and makes his way to the steps, using them to get to the apron. He steps in to the ring and bows one more time for the capacity crowd as the music fades.
Ring Announcer: And his opponent…hailing from Orlando, Florida…weighing in at 213 pounds… representing The Horsemen…the CWF Unified Champion….BOB OSBOURNE!
The arena goes pitch black as "Here to Stay" by Korn blasts through the arena as white lights flicker in time with the drum beat. Orange lights are in time to the guitar. As soon as the song kicks in, the lights flash white and Bob comes out and poses at the top of the ramp. Pyro explodes as he heads to the ring. Bob then gives fans high-fives along the way. Once Bob slides in to the ring, and poses, the arena slowly fills with orange and black.
TT: I think Mark Xamin was quite impressed by the showing these two had in Osaka just two weeks ago, as were the fans of the CWF, which tells why we are seeing this rematch here tonight at Night of Champion 4: Season's Beating's!
BC: Look at this now, JJ offering that Christmas gift he purchased this week for Bobby Osbourne...
Osbourne takes the package and begins to unwrap it. As he does, the box explodes in a puff of baby powder, temporarily blinding Osbourne....Jimmy with a sickening clothesline taking Bob off of his feet!
*DING DING DING!*
BC: Here we go, JJ, Osbourne 2!
TT: What a dirty trick by Jimmy Johnston!
BC: I beg to differ. Tis the season....to give a beating! This crowd is rocking as Osbourne gets to his feet and he and Johnston move in to tie up in the center of the ring.
TT: Osbourne drops down as Jimmy reaches in....drop toe hold....and JJ is on his stomach, Bob has the leg pulled up behind him...ankle lock....but NO! Jimmy kicks him off with those massive legs of his and Osbourne hits the turnbuckle!
BC: JJ back to his feet. A light haze of baby powder still looming in the ring creating an eerie fog...Bob moving back in...sneaking up behind JJ.....JJ turns...Bob with a double axe handle, but Jimmy side steps him...catches him...sidewalk slam by the big Brit!
TT: Jimmy Johnston now moving back in, pulling Osbourne up by his hair...butterfly suplex by JJ and Osbourne landed on the back of his neck, he may be hurt here....
BC: NO! He was playing possum and he gouges JJ in the eyes....schoolboy!
TT: KICKOUT!! What a near fall by Osbourne, and this one was nearly over before it began!
BC: Bob Osbourne showing some quick thinking trying to take the big man off of his feet quickly. Such a better choice than Terry Richards ever could have been for The Horsemen.
TT: Well, that remains to be seen. If Terry Richards can take care of his personal issues outside the ring, he may be able to get his career back on track. Only time will tell. You can bet when he does return he will be coming after the CWF Unified championship he once held so dear.
BC: But Bob Osbourne is proving to be a tough nut to crack, showing the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. JJ now grabs Osbourne by the wrist and has him in an arm wrench...rotating the shoulder the opposite direction, putting pressure on it....and he drops the elbow across for good measure and Osbourne is pulling it in close screaming in agony!
TT: And JJ now moves in applying heavy pressure to the arm and has Bob pinned down, driving his shoulder into the back of bob's neck, pulling back on the wrist with les left arm...that looks quite painful indeed. Bob Osbourne screaming out...the ref asks him if he wants to stop the match.
BC: He's not gonna quit, his dad would kick his ass if he quit...see, just like I told you, he eventually struggles his way over to the ropes with his right hand and grabs the bottom one in desperation, and the ref forces JJ to break the hold.
TT: JJ let's go and then kicks Osbourne in the shoulder and the ref makes him back off...
BC: And I have no idea why...he didn't do anything illegal...is that ref being impartial? I wouldn't put it past his old man to pay them off to look the other way and put more pressure on JJ.
TT: Bob takes the opportunity to catch a breather and that left arm is hanging in a little limp. He may be hurt more than we know here Bobby Crane.
BC: Well Johnston charges in and Osbourne nails him in a hip toss using his own momentum against him....and Bob drops right in on top of him and applies a cross faced chicken wing....but JJ quickly tucks his arm and rolls, and the left arm of Bob Osbourne gives way and he can't hold on and Johnston rolls right through.
TT: Johnston back to his feet, Osbourne upright, charging, Johnston side steps, Osbourne off the ropes...rebound....samoan drop by Johnston and Osbourne lands right on the left shoulder! What terrible luck!
BC: Not bad luck for Osbourne, but technical savvy on the part of Johnston, he's working the shoulder over trying to open up a crack in Osbourne's defenses...he has to slow him down and this may be the only way. JJ back up and he locks in a leg lock around the shoulder, wrenching the left arm towards him up between his legs....Osbourne is gritting his teeth and trying to hang in for everything he's got...the ref is checking...double checking...Osbourne will not relent!
TT: And again Osbourne has to claw his way to the ropes and he reaches out...but he can’t make it..he drops...but his hand falls UNDER the ropes...the ref breaks the hold and Jimmy is pissed!
BC: Johnston now possibly making a major mistake here, getting in the face of the referee about the position of Osbourne's hand. He should be moving in to finish him off while he's exhausted...not letting him rest and regain his composure.
TT: Johnston moves back in on Bob, but Bob kips up, Jimmy charges in anyhow, and Bob monkey rolls across his back as he leans down for a spear....Osbourne up behind Johnston, YAKUZA KICK!
BC: And Teddy this match is going back and forth like a see saw! I for one can't believe we aren't getting at least $39.95 per viewing for this amazing card!
TT: Well, as you know, Mark Xamin likes to give back to the fans once every quarter of the year with the live network special that is of pay per view quality. Thus here we find ourselves at Night of Champions 4!
BC: Bob Osbourne climbing the ropes...he goes for an Osbournesault...NO! JJ raises the knees and Osbourne hits knees to ribs and he howls loudly as JJ rolls onto his stomach. JJ back on his feet pulls Bob up by the hair once more. He goes to irish whip Bob...but Bob counter whips him into the far ropes as Israel Steel races down the ramp, slides under the ropes and stands, bringing his leg up to catch JJ with a big boot...damn it referee, call for the bell...this is atrocious...
TT: HE DIDN'T SEE IT! Bob Osbourne was yelling at him and had his back to them....Osbourne sees Steele outside the ring, the ref realizes what has occured as well, but can no longer do anything about it. Osbourne now pulls Johnston's nearly lifeless limp form up off of the mat...BADD DREAM!
BC: Cover by Bob!
*DING DING DING!*
Ring Announcer: Here is your winner and STILL CWF Unified Champion....BOB OSBOURNE!
"Here to Stay" by Korn plays as Osbourne's shoulder hangs in and he clutches his ribs. He poses on the second turnbuckle, raising the title one handed, but grimacing and tucking his left arm in tighter.
TT: You have to think that if it hadn't been for Israel Steele, Jimmy Johnston may have become our Unified Champion. Johnston will have his day with Steele I am sure.
BC: No doubt, he’s beaten him before but Israel Steele just can’t seem to let it go! Johnston is gonna have to stomp this guy out once and for all!
TT: Well in any event, Bob Osbourne retains the Unified Championship and will head into 2010 with the title belt, ending an impressive 2009 for the rookie third generation star.
BC: He’s the future leader of the Horsemen, Teddy!
TT: He very well may be, and speaking of the Horsemen…
Teddy is interrupted by the opening beats of “Driver Down” by Trent Reznor as the crowd starts to boo loudly. Sickboy soon walks out clad in a black suit and tie with his hair tied back in a ponytail and the CWF National title slung over his shoulder. He walks to the ring and climbs through the ropes taunting the crowd by holding the title above his head.
TT: What is he doing here?
BC: What do you mean ‘what is he doing here’. He’s the champ Teddy.
TT: But he’s not scheduled to be here tonight! There’s no National title match!
BC: He can do whatever he wants, Teddy! He’s the champ.
Sickboy is soon handed a microphone by the ring tech and stands in the middle ring soaking the boos from the hostile Chicago crowd, all the while smiling cockily.
Sickboy: Hello all you windy city blowhards!
The crowd boos hard but Sickboy continues undeterred.
Sickboy: I know that a lot of you are booing because you are so bummed out that I’m not wrestling tonight. I know, I know. I feel your anguish and pain. Sometimes though the champ needs to have a bit of R and R. I have however decided that I would turn up in this scum hole that you people call a city, because I have something to share with each and every one of you sitting on your asses in this arena and at home watching on live television.
You know, when I first started out in this business. I wanted to make history. I wanted to be remembered for something. Now of course I won numerous titles in the IOA to the point that I was a grand slam singles champion. That was one mark in history. The second was beating my mentor Chemical X after we fought and mindf[BEEP]ed each to the point we were both paranoid. The third and the most important one is this National title that I have in my grasp. A title that I beat Mariano fairly and squarely for. I remember all of you booing me for it. Making wild claims that I would tarnish this belt’s reputation. That I wouldn’t defend it at all.
Three months. Three long months. I have faced challenge after challenge from anyone who is put against me or who has had the balls to face me. From Mariano to Terry Richards, your hometown hero, and I have come out on top by hook or by crook. With those three months ending in one week. I will be the longest running National Champ in the modern history of the CWF.
The crowd boos.
TT: How can he make such an outrageous claim like that?!
BC: Because it’s true, Teddy.
TT: Technically it isn’t. My understanding is the Patriot is the one who has the longest reign with five or so months.
BC: He’s talking about modern history Teddy. Not ancient history. Quit living in the past.
Sickboy: And none of this would’ve been possible without the help of a few inspirational figures. Like my girlfriend Justine, my legal representative, Len. The Horsemen who believed in me from day one and a very special shout out goes to the man who is without a doubt the best commentator in the world of wrestling today, Mr. Bobby Crane. Ultimately though I have to thank you, the fans. Who by your betrayal and stabbing me in the back has led me to accomplish more than any one of you wannabes can ever imagine. So with that I finally get to leave this disgusting city of losers, deadbeats and scumbags to go back to New York. The city of champions and winners.
Sickboy then drops the microphone as “Driver Down” plays again. He walks up the ramp holding the belt over his head and disappears behind the curtain.
TT: Classy guy, that Sickboy.
BC: I’m sorry, was that sarcasm?
TT: …you catch on quick. In any event folks, coming up next, what a matchup this should be…Keith Daniels goes one on one with Blood, and what’s the common denominator in this match? Magnus Thunder. Keith Daniels is Magnus Thunder’s damn puppet and Blood is out to put a stop to it right here tonight.
BC: Good luck! You and I both felt the awesome power of Magnus Thunder at Battle to Survive, Teddy…there’s no fighting that.
TT: Well Blood has been trying for over a decade…tonight, he has a chance to send the 7’5”, 500 pound World Champion a message.
BC: Yeah well, Magnus Thunder has no problem shooting the messenger.
TT: Let’s head back to the ring and get this underway!
Cut to the ring.
Ring Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall!!! Introducing first...
A violin symphony begins to play throughout the arena as the crowd surprisingly starts to cheer. The lights go out as a cross appears on the videotron. A wall of flames erupts at the entrance. As they die down, a dark red glow flows in the arena and the symphony fades in to "Hero" by Skillet. Behind the wall of flames, Blood is on one knee. He wears his bone mask with his head lowered and cape flowing behind him. He slowly stands, glancing around at the sold out crowd. Blood slowly makes his way down the aisle, flames following his every footstep.
Ring Announcer: From Charlotte, North Carolina! He weighs in at two hundred forty-five pounds...BLOOD!!!
Blood uses the steps to enter the ring. He makes his way to the corner and raises his arms in a god-like pose for the cheering crowd. He hops down as the lights slowly return to normal and his music fades out. He removes the bone mask and cape, handing it to an official on the outside.
BC: There's one of the CWF's looneys...a part of the Wagga Wagga Club...now we await the other!
TT: How creative, Bobby! Using lines from the Radiant One!
BC: Shut up, Teddy!
"It's All Over" by Three Days Grace blasts in the arena as the crowd erupts in boos. The lights dim and Keith Daniels makes his way to the stage. He stops briefly on the stage, looking at the surrounding crowd before continuing down the aisle.
Ring Announcer: Making his way to the ring...from Orlando, Florida! Weighing in at three hundred twenty-four pounds..."THE DANGEROUS ONE" KEITH DANIELS!!!
Daniels makes his way to the ringside area. He climbs on to the apron and steps over the top rope. Daniels comes faces to face with Blood as his music fades out.
TT: This should be a war, Bobby!
BC: Which freak will prevail?! We'll find out soon!
*DING DING DING!*
TT: There's the opening bell! Daniels and Blood circle around each other, jocking for position. Collar and elbow tie up...and Daniels forces Blood in to the corner. The ref calls for the break...and Daniels answers with a hard knee to the gut! He pulls Blood out of the corner with a rear hammerlock. Daniels with the front sweep, and Blood drops face first to the mat!
BC: Impressive move by Daniels!
TT: Daniels brings Blood up to a sitting position, and he drills Blood with a hard kick to the back! Knee to the spine by Daniels, and he grabs Blood's arms, yanking them back for a submission!
Daniels applies the pressure as the ref checks on Blood. Blood struggles and slowly makes it to his feet. He breaks an arm loose, but Daniels quickly twists the other arm! Blood stumbles forward...and Daniels drives the elbow in to the arm, dropping Blood down to a knee. Daniels places his leg behind the arm and falls forward, sending Blood face and arm first to the mat!
BC: Blood has not been able to step out of the box here, Teddy!
TT: Daniels with a front face lock...and he brings Blood back to his feet. Daniels elevates Blood in position for a vertical suplex, letting the blood rush to the head!
BC: Is it just me, or does it seem like Daniels is fighting for himself tonight?
Blood brings a knee in to Daniels skull, and Daniels stumbles back as Blood falls back to the mat. Blood hits the ropes. He rebounds, coming at Daniels...baseball slide between the legs! Blood springs back to his feet, and he plants Daniels with a russian legsweep! Blood rolls back once again making it to his feet. He hits the far ropes...leg drop! And he makes the quick cover!
TT: Daniels with the easy kickout! Blood brings Daniels back to his feet...lariat...and Daniels ducks under! Blood turns around, and he's met with a boot to the gut. Daniels grabs a hunched over Blood...suplex!
Daniels returns to his feet, and seems to struggle as he puts his hands to his head. He quickly returns to the attack as he stomps away at Blood.
BC: Looked like Daniels was having a bit of a struggle there!
TT: In any case, he has obtained full control as he brings Blood back to his feet. Daniels shoots Blood off in to the corner, and he follows in with a vicious shoulder to the gut! Blood falls to a seated position in the corner...and Daniels meets him in the jaw with a knee!
BC: Mister Wagga Wagga is being taken to school here tonight!
TT: Daniels grabs Blood by his arm and brings him back to his feet...short arm clothesline! Daniels pulls Blood back up by his arm...another short arm clothesline! Daniels brings Blood back to his feet once again, and he lifts him to the shoulder. Daniels with a running powerslam...and he holds his hands on Blood's chest for the cover!
TT: Blood with the kickout!
BC: Daniels has such impressive power, Teddy! It's hard for any of the CWF superstars to match it...as Blood is seeing here tonight!
TT: Daniels quickly continues his offense as he brings Blood back to his feet. He whips Blood in to the ropes. Blood on the rebound as Daniels lowers himself for the back body drop...and Blood connects with a boot to the face! Blood backs in to the ropes...flying lariat, and he takes Daniels down!
Blood quickly grabs Daniels by the arm and rolls him to his belly, locking in an overhead keylock as he sits on Daniels' back for leverage! Blood leans back to apply more pressure as the ref checks on Daniels. Daniels strikes with a back elbow to Blood's jaw...and a second! Blood releases the keylock as he stumbles off of Daniels.
TT: Daniels has made it back to his feet as Blood rushes in...snap powerslam by Daniels!
BC: And to think, Teddy! We still have a steel cage match and the Radiant World Heavyweight Championship match tonight!
TT: Daniels grabs Blood with a front facelock to bring him to his feet. He elevates Blood...and drops him gut first across the top rope! Daniels hits the ropes...RUNNING BIG BOOT...NO!!! Blood avoids the shot as he forces himself to his feet on the apron!
BC: Excellent counter by Blood!
Daniels quickly turns to Blood and rushes at him, drilling him with a devastating lariat! Blood's body is flipped inside out and he lands hard chest first on the apron before tumbling to the floor outside!
TT: OH MY GOD! BLOOD WAS DAMN NEAR DECAPITATED!!!
BC: What a hit!
Daniels climbs out to the apron and hesitates as he once again grabs his head in struggle. He hops down from the apron and quickly picks up Blood. Daniels rams Blood back first in to the barracade!
Daniels forces Blood back first in to the ring post before rolling him back in to the ring. He climbs to the apron and over the top rope to enter the ring. Daniels picks Blood back up...and he drops him hard with a bonecrushing spinebuster! Daniels drops a knee on to Blood's skull...and another! He grabs Blood by the arm and chickenwing's it as he flips Blood to his stomach!
TT: Potential submission here! Daniels applies a crossface and pulls back!
BC: Very dangerous spot for Blood here!
TT: Blood is refusing to give up as he slowly makes his way back to his feet. He drops back...and Daniels crashes back to the mat as he's forced to release the hold! Both men are down!
BC: With what we're seeing here tonight, Teddy...you'd have to believe that both of these men are viable candidates to win the battle royle at Last Man Standing!
TT: I agree. But the question is...who will be victorious tonight?!
Blood slowly makes his way back to his feet. Daniels uses the ropes as he pulls himself back up. He rushes at Blood for a lariat...but Blood ducks it! And Blood drops him with a neckbreaker! Blood quickly brings Daniels back to his feet and drags him to the corner. He bashes Daniels face repetatively in to the corner turnbuckle. Blood lifts Daniels placing him in a sitting position on the top turnbuckle facing the crowd. Blood leaps to the top rope...and over to Daniels...
TT: REVERSE HURRICANRANA!!! NO!!! Daniels held the top rope!
BC: But Blood landed on his feet!
TT: Daniels begins to stand, and like a cat Blood has made his way back to the top rope...GERMAN SUPLEX!!!
BC: That was brutal, Teddy!
TT: Daniels is holding his back in pain as once again both men are down!
Blood tries to catch his breath as he slowly crawls to the corner. He pulls himself back to his feet as Daniels still lays on the mat in pain. Blood smirks as he steps out to the apron, anxiously waiting for Daniels to return to his feet! Daniels makes it to all four...and he slowly makes it back to his feet stumbling. Blood with the springboard...THE SUFFERING...NO!!!
TT: Daniels with a violent lariat as a counter to The Suffering!!! And Blood may be out!
BC: But he needs to make the cover!
TT: He's slowly dragging himself over to Blood...and he drapes the arm over Blood for the cover!!!
TT: The foot's on the rope! The foot is on the rope!!!
BC: How?! HOW?!
TT: Great ring awareness by Blood! Daniels looks ready to blow...as again he appears to be struggling! He brings Blood back to his feet...and lifts him up with the fireman's carry!
BC: We could be seeing The Final Verdict here!!!
TT: Daniels brings Blood to the center of the ring, but Blood is struggling! And Blood falls behind! He grabs Daniels arm and twists it. Boot up to the neck...and Daniels uses his free arm to force Blood's boot back down! And he lifts Blood back up in to the fireman's carry position again!
BC: Is the second time the charm?!
TT: Daniels swings Blood around...and Blood counters with a DDT...NO!!! Daniels pushes Blood off in mid move! Daniels rushes at Blood...and he's caught with an inside cradle! Wait!!! Blood rolls through...BLOOD LOCK!!!
BC: He's got it locked in, Teddy! It may be over here!
TT: Daniels is struggling! Daniels is trying to inch his way to the ropes, but Blood has the submission locked in tight!
BC: Daniels needs to find a way out of this devastating submission!
Daniels uses his leg strength to finally force Blood off! Blood stumbles forward after releasing the hold. He turns back to Daniels who is slowly getting back up...and Blood hits him with a picture perfect dropkick! Daniels stumbles back in to the ropes and Blood follows in...massive clothesline, and both men tumble to the outside!
TT: Could this match get any better, Bobby?!
BC: This match is almost as good as The Karate Priest!
TT: Seriously, Bobby?! That's your contribution to this match?! A cheap plug for Blair's first movie?!
BC: It was a damn good movie, Teddy!
TT: The ref is counting as both men are finally getting back to their feet! Blood grabs Daniels and whips him at the steps...but it's reversed! Blood crashes back first in to the steps...and again it appears like Daniels is struggling!
BC: This kid needs to get a grip!
Daniels grabs Blood and rolls him back in to the ring. He slides in after him and rests on all fours, almost seething as he waits for Blood to return to his feet. Blood is dazed as he slowly rises...and Daniels drills him with a running big boot! Daniels quickly brings Blood back to his feet. He whips Blood hard in to the corner as he hits the ropes near the corner!
TT: Blood crashes chest first in to the corner and stumbles back as Daniels hits the ropes with moment...LARIAT!!! NO!!! Blood ducked it! He springboards off the ropes and flies at Daniels for The Suffering...and Daniels counters with a beautiful overhead belly to belly!
BC: I never would have thought that this match would go back and forth as much as what it has!
TT: Daniels grabs Blood and lifts him up to his shoulder. Running start...and Blood slips behind, pushing Daniels toward the ropes! Daniels bounces off...and he's met with a vicious knee lift by Blood! Daniels stumbles as Blood leaps to the middle turnbuckle. He dives off spinning in mid air...and he spikes Daniels with an impressive DDT! And he has the cover!!!
TT: Daniels rolls the shoulder! Blood quickly brings Daniels back to his feet...OH NO!!! Daniels hoists him to the shoulders...FINAL VERDICT!!! He hit it! Daniels falls on Blood for the cover!!!
TT: NO!!! Blood's foot was under the bottom rope! This match will continue! Daniels brings Blood back to his feet..short arm clothesline...but Blood ducks it! Blood twist the arm and places his boot against Daniels' neck...BLOOD LOSS!!!
BC: He needs the cover here!!!
TT: Blood grabs Daniels by the legs and drags him to the center of the ring...and he flips him over...BLOOD LOCK!!!
BC: He's got it locked in again!
TT: The ref checks on Daniels, but Daniels won't give up! Daniels gets a leg free...and he drills Blood with the heel to the face! And it looks like Blood is cut open! Blood grabs the free leg, applying more pressure as the ref makes his way over to check on Blood's cut!
Daniels uses his leg strength and again forces Blood to release the Blood lock as he stumbles forward...and he runs in to the ref! The ref falls between the ropes and out to the floor!
TT: Daniels escapes...but the ref became a casualty!
Daniels makes it to his feet as Blood turns to him...boot to the gut! He lifts Blood with the fireman's carry...but Blood slips out and falls behind! He pushes Daniels in to the ropes, and Daniels rebounds with a vicious lariat!
TT: DEVASTATING! But the ref is still down!
BC: What the hell is this, Teddy?! Daniels appears to be struggling again...and I think I know why! Look at the entrance!
Magnus makes his way down the aisle. He leans over the barracade and pushes over a fan. He grabs the chair and continues his walk to the ring. He slides under the bottom rope and hands Daniels the chair. He barks orders to his puppet, but Daniels doesn't respond!
TT: I think Magnus is telling Daniels to hit Blood with the chair!
Daniels stares at Magnus...and Magnus backhands him! He points to Blood and continues barking orders as Daniels slowly brings his focus back to Magnus. Daniels looks down at Blood, then back up at Magnus. Magnus backhands him again, and Daniels barely moves. Magnus rips the chair out of Daniels hands and pushes him away as he turns his attention to Blood.
TT: It looks like Magnus will do the dirty work himself!
Magnus hoists the chair overhead...ready to strike as Blood uses the ropes to pull himself back up...
BC: Magnus with a...NO!!!
TT: Daniels just took the chair out of Magnus' hands! He slams the chair to the mat...and he drill Magnus with a hard right...and a second! Magnus is reeling and turns around...Blood with a hard right!
BC: Magnus has just walked himself in to a bad spot!
The ref uses the apron to pull himself back up. He glances in the ring, noticing the action...and calls for the bell!
*DING DING DING!*
TT: I think the referee just called for the bell!
BC: Well Magnus is being rocked as he falls in to the ropes...double lariat by Blood and Daniels!
TT: Magnus crashes to the outside! He quickly makes it back to his feet as Blood and Daniels are both taunting him to get back in to the ring...but he backs his way up the aisle instead, still glaring at the two foes!
Ring Announcer: The referee has declared this match a NO CONTEST!!!
Blood stands on the middle rope, waving for Magnus to return to the ring as Daniels stands near staring at the giant.
TT: The curse has been broken! Don’t go anywhere, folks! When we come back, the CWF World Tag Team Championships will be on the line!
TT: Welcome back to the CWF’s Night of Champions IV: Season’s Beatings, folks…I understand that right off the bat here, we have a camera backstage on Rob Osbourne. Let’s head back there, this should be interesting.
Cut backstage to Rob Osbourne’s locker room. The Nitemare is fastening his knee pads and lacing his boots. Suddenly, the door swings open and Roland Ulv walks in. Osbourne gets to his feet.
Roland Ulv: Rob, iit iis not mii, fur sure. I have triied tu tell yuu all wiik, I am NOT thii Nitemare’s Nightmare, ja!
NRO: Save it, Roland. It all adds up, I ain’t falling for it.
Roland Ulv: I swear on my pickled herring business, fur sure! It iis not mii!
NRO: Get out.
Roland Ulv shakes his head dejectedly and, sighing loudly, walks out the door.
Cut back to ringside.
TT: Wow…Rob Osbourne seems mighty sure of himself…
BC: Could it really be Roland Ulv?
TT: We will find out later tonight, but coming up we have the Tag Team Championships on the line, and what a matchup this should be as Degradation and Death Squad renew hostilities.
BC: Well Death Squad is about as close as it gets to competition for Degradation in the tag team division, at least since High Concept left. I’ll tell you what though, Degradation is getting pretty damn cocky, even by Bobby Crane’s standards…I wonder if Death Squad can put one over on them.
TT: Let’s head to the ring and find out!
Cut to the ring.
"Take this Life" by In Flames plays as TJ and Bruno step onto the ramp. TJ is clad in baggy jeans and a wife beater. Bruno is sporting a Yankees jersey and jogging pants. The two men follow former National Champion, The Juggernaut, as the huge former National Champion mocks the crowd, raising his hand to motion a fake backhand to a little kid and laughs when he cowers.
Ring Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and is for the CWF Tag Team Championship! Introducing first, on their way to the ring, accompanied by Jimmy "The Juggernaut" Washington...from Brooklyn, New York...at a total combined weight of 543 pounds...TJ & Bruno...DEATHSQUAD!
As they approach the apron, Juggernaut makes his way over to the corner on the outside, Bruno slides in under the bottom rope, and TJ climbs in over the top rope. Bruno poses for the crowd as TJ watches the entrance. Their music fades out.
Ring Announcer: On their way to the ring...from Little Italy in Brooklyn, New York! At a total combined weight of 543 pounds...they are the CWF World Tag Team Champions...Vincent Torigianni...Donovan Torigianni...DEGRADATION!
The arena goes dark as "Du Hast" by Rammstein begins to play. The entryway fills with smoke as crimson colored lights set the stage ablaze. Strobe lights flicker as the drum beat pulses and then an explosion of four large pyrotechnics shoot up from the bottom of the stage. Degradation appears at the top of the ramp in the shadows of the smoke in silhouettes. Vincent poses, raising his arms and flexing his biceps. Donovan, head down, stands popping his neck and shaking himself loose. Amber lights illuminate the arena as Degradation makes their way to the ring. Vincent grabs the top rope and springs himself over it. Donovan hops on the side of the ring and high steps over the top rope. They pose on opposite turnbuckles and as the house lights come back on, jump down, walking to the center of the ring.
*DING DING DING!*
TT: And this tag team championship bout is under way! These two teams are no strangers to each other as we see Vincent and Bruno to start things off here. They dance around the ring, finally tie up....Bruno whips Vincent into the ropes...Vincent off the ropes..short arm drag...and Vincent comes up yelling at the ref that Bruno had a handful of hair.
BC: He did have it...I saw the handful of hair, didn't you Turnbuckle?
TT: I did not. But the ref is in Bruno's face about it. Bruno denies it. These two faced off a few weeks back on Showdown and Degradation came out on top. Let's see if they keep up their winning ways this evening.
BC: Vincent now circling back in, sweeps in for the leg and Bruno steps back, avoiding him and grinning. Vincent shimmies, moves back in for the tie up, Irish whip by Vincent and this time it's Bruno into the ropes...rebound...Torigianni leapfrogs, Bruno off the far ropes...Vincent with another leapfrog...but Bruno pulls up stopping short, and grabbing Vincent with a neck breaker...again Vincent shoots right back up complaining to the ref of hair pulling. The ref gets in Bruno's face again as Vincent grins on and makes the tag to Donovan.
TT: Donovan rolls his neck and then delivers a decapitating clothesline to Bruno, who flips in the air off of the impact. These Torigianni brothers have had their hands full the last few weeks outside of the ring with the whole situation revolving around the apparent disappearance of Christina Danky, the ex-wife of Donovan Torigianni, and soon to be ex-wife of "The Nitemare" Rob Osbourne.
BC: She is with Donovan. She loved him and went back. Osbourne needs to get over it. Boy meets girl, boy falls in love with girl, boy marries girl, girl meets Osbourne, girl gets wooed and won caught up in the thrill, girl realizes she loves the big meatball, boy gets girl back. Osbourne gets even. Case closed.
TT: Somehow I don't think it will be that simple Bobby Crane. But in the ring Donovan is scraping Bruno up off of the mat following that clothesline. Powerslam by Donovan. Bruno is in pain already.
BC: I dare you to get in there with Donovan and let him rip you apart like that and see how long YOU last. I tell you Turnbuckle, Donovan Torigianni and Magnus Thunder definitely have some unfinished business.
TT: That, my old friend, we do agree on. Donovan makes the tag to Vincent who leaps over the top rope and is right over Bruno who is on all fours trying to get to TJ...Vincent mockingly waiting for Bruno to get just a few inches out of TJ's reach, and then missile drop kick's him, sending him crashing back down. Vincent moves in near TJ and taunts him, causing the big man to attempt to enter the ring...but the ref gets in his face.
BC: And as soon as the ref turns his back, Vincent leans down and presses his knee across Bruno's throat, coming up just as the ref turns his attention back to the legal men. That's working a tag match and knowing the mechanics and controlling the eb and flow right there Turnbuckle. The best teams in the world can't compete with brother's that have fought agianst and with each other there whole lives.
TT: Well, Degradation continues to prove just why they are a landslide favorite for the CWF Viewer's Choice Poll for Tag Team of the Year.
BC: Vincent tags Donovan back in, and Donovan stands in the corner and patiently waits for Bruno to make the tag to the seven foot tall, three hundred plus pound TJ. He don't say much, but he hits REALLY hard.
TT: Donovan seems to welcome the challenge as Bruno makes the tag then rolls under the bottom rope, right off of the apron and crashes down to the protective mat outside the ring. The fans are getting riled up as the two behemoth's converge like an immovable object against an unstoppable force..
BC: Oh come on....isn't that one just a little overused Turnbuckle? How about they were like two Titans clashing or something?
TT: TJ gets the upper hand and hugs Donovan in close....squeezing in a bear hug...but look at Torigianni Bobby, he's laughing...almost embracing the pain...and his face contorts as the vein pops out on his freshly shaven head, and he lands a clubbing left forearm to the side of the head of TJ, and a right forearm...TJ staggering...another left, right, left, right....and TJ drops Donovan and falls to his knees...Donovan off of the ropes...running knee lift bringing TK up off of the mat and crashing back down.
BC: And Donovan makes the tag back in to Vincent who starts dancing around a bit, showboating for the fans, posing on the turnbuckle as TJ begins to stir on the mat. Bruno still laying on the mat outside the ring. Vincent hops up on the tope rope....TJ comes up on one knee...then stands, bent over catching his breath...he begins to straighten up...as he does Vincent leaps high off of the turnbuckle.....and TJ was playing possum, he comes barreling up and grabs Vincent and powerslams him back to the mat.
TT: And I think maybe he wasn't so much playing possum as just giving one last hoorah, as both men are down in the center of the ring......the ref begins the standing eight count.......1............2..............3.........Vincent starting to stir......4.......5......TJ rolls to his stomach and forces himself up on all fours...........6............7...and Vincent stands, then starts to wobble, and falls backwards, but reaches out ad makes the tag to Donovan before landing .
BC: And that's that veteran ring presence I talked about earlier with these two brothers Teddy. They are very aware of their surroudings and know what to do at all times. Impressive. Donovan quickly climbs in the ring and is all over TJ...German suplex....and another......and another....and on the fourth one he lets him fly, nearly man handling the seven foot, three hundred pounder.
TT: Magnus Thunder beware! From the looks of things, another five inches and two hundred pounds aren't going to tax Donovan Torigianni.
BC: But those blackouts and seizures might.
TT: Well, according to the CWF medical officials, those shouldn't occur anymore. Donovan pulling TJ back up......he tags in Vincent who hops up on the turnbuckle...here it comes Bobby....the Total Devestation.....AND HE NAILS IT!
BC: What a perfectly executed Hangman's DDT.....and as TJ's head hits the canvas Donovan rolls off and Vincent leaps...TOTAL ANNIHILATION! Stick a fork in TJ, he's done....
TT: The ref orders Donovan out of the ring. He climbs out and raises his hands in a universal "okay" gesture, then Vincent tags him right back in. But Vincent doesn't climb out as Donovan is climbing back in. Instead he pulls TJ up to his feet. Vincent takes TJ to the corner and perches him on the top turnbuckle. He climbs the ropes as Donovan readies himself in the center of the ring. Vincent with a short hop, wraps his legs around TJ's neck and performs a hurricanrana, launching TJ into Donovan's waiting arms. Donovan catchesTJ in mid-air, slamming him down to the mat in a full powerbomb.
BC: THE BLOODLETTING! COVER BY DONOVAN!
*DING DING DING!*
Ring Announcer: Here are your winners and STILL CWF World Tag Team Champions…DEGRADATION!
TT: Well they’ve done it again! What a matchup and the champs retain!
BC: There’s no end in sight for these guys!
TT: Hold on just a minute…I’m getting word that we have a camera onThe O’Reilly Brothers…this is the hottest free agent tag team out there and they are scoping out the CWF…let’s head back there now!
Cut to outside the arena revealing the parking center to be jam packed with vehicles. Shots from within the arena show fans packed to the ceiling. The shot cuts to a backstage area where the O’Reilly Brothers can be seen watching, on an 18’ monitor, the end of the CWF Tag Team Championship match. A few other CWF Superstars and staff watch along with them so Cyril speaks lowly when he comments to Ray.
Cyril O’Reilly: These guys are pretty good Ray.
Ray O’Reilly: Yeah… they are. Not as good as us though.
Ray smiles at his brother then returns his attention back to the monitor. Cyril seems content with Ray’s assessment and he too returns to enjoying the show. Kodiak Winters, Bodyguard to CWF President Mark Xamin, can suddenly be seen making his way towards the O Bro’s. He stops dead in his tracks in front of Ray and Cyril. Over Kodiak’s shoulder Mike Heftle can be seen lurching around, eavesdropping on the conversation at hand.
Kodiak Winters: Mr. Xamin will see you in five minutes in his office.
Winters expression remains emotionless. The O Bro’s make up for his lack by becoming very excited themselves. Without a word Kodiak turns about face and walks away. As if he’d just discovered his wife had been cheating on him Mike Heftle angrily approaches the team.
Mike Heftle: So what happened to not being signed? Why the appointment with Xamin?
The O’Reilly brothers both lose their expressions of excitement and replace them those of annoyance.
Ray O’Reilly: The appointment with Mr. Xamin is to find out IF we were, jackass.
Cyril O’Reilly: Yeah… jackass!
Mike looks as though he’s about to defend himself when the conviction melts from his eyes. Instead he reverts back to reporter mode.
Mike Heftle: Alright fella’s, so, why the interest in CWF anyway?
The O Bro’s look at each other as if they were just asked why is the sky blue.
Ray O’Reilly: Who do you know that’s NOT interested in the CWF? In fact had Xamin contacted us sooner we’d have broke our contract wrestling in RWA as the Fighting Irish years ago. Contenders may be born elsewhere but they become Champions here.
Cyril O’Reilly: Yea! And we want championship gold!
Mike Heftle: Are you both familiar with the tag teams around here? Degradation most importantly.
Ray O’Reilly: What do you take us for Mike, a couple of stupid Mick’s? Of course we checked out our competition before we got here, Degradation more so then anyone else. It’s the stiff competition here that truly made us crazy with excitement. The CWF is a place where the O Bro’s can finally get a challenge.
Cyril O’Reilly: No more five minute matches.
Ray O’Reilly: Exactly zero. We’re tired Mike. Tired of competition we’ve downed more times than our father has downed brew. When the O Bro’s meet a challenge, they evolve, become better superstars. A place like this, the CWF, here is where we can fight to become even better than we are now.
Cyril O’Reilly: If that’s even possible RayRye.
Ray smiles at his brother.
Ray O’Reilly: Listen Mike… seeing as though Mark is actually going to be meeting with us, things are looking good that the O Bro’s WILL be making their home here at CWF. So, if you see us on the card next Saturday night… look us up. We’ll give you a real interview. Until then we’ve got shit to do.
The O’Reilly Brothers turn from Mike and make off towards Mark Xamin’s office. As they do Mike Heftle half smiles.
Mike Heftle: Maybe not such a bad night after all.
Cut back to ringside.
BC: Sounds like we’ve got a new tag team in the ranks.
TT: Well Degradation may have stiffer competition than they think, I’ve seen the O’Reilly Brothers as The Fighting Irish and they are extremely impressive.
BC: The Irish against the Italian. That’s gonna be rough.
TT: In any event folks, coming up next we have Mariano Fernandez going one on one with Chemical X in what many are predicting could be the sleeper match of the whole night! These are two contrasting personalities, to say the least…Mariano Fernandez has always represented the good in this world, a shining beacon of light even when times were rough this year…whereas Chemical X is the ultimate symbol of crime, crossing every line and busting through every boundary to invoke fear in all those who stand against him. Mariano Fernandez has a chance dent the armor of the Horsemen.
BC: Well, it won’t be an easy task. Chemical X doesn’t screw around and tonight, he’s gonna end 2009 with a bang!
TT: Let’s head to the ring and get this underway!
Cut to the ring.
A low hue of pulsating red lights dances with the opening acoustic riffs as "Welcome Home" by Coheed and Cambria begins to play. As the crescendo hits and the electric guitar kicks in, Gary "Chemical X" Scarletti appears at the top of the ramp, raising from the ground on a slow rising elevator, ready for business. He stands with his head bowing down. As the lyrics kick in, and the elevator levels, he raises his chin.
Ring Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Brooklyn, New York! Weighing in at two hundred seventy-six pounds...CHEMICAL X!!!
X starts a methodical walk to the ring as the lights continue to strobe in red with the music. As he enters the ring, he stops on the top rope taunting his opponent. His music fades out and the lights slowly return to normal as X hops down from the corner.
TT: Scarletti will have his hands full tonight! Mariano went the distance at Battle To Survive with the World Heavyweight Champion!
BC: Come on! He's a Horsemen! He has this match in the bag!
"Strike Of The Ninja" by DragonForce cracks in the arena as the crowd erupts in cheers. Mariano steps out to the stage. He looks around at the sold out crowd and poses for them.
Ring Announcer: On his way to the ring...from Buenos Aires, Argentina! Weighing in at one hundred seventy-one pounds...MARIANO "SHADOW" FERNANDEZ!!!
Mariano runs down the aisle and slides in to the ring. He poses in the ring for the crowd as his music fades out.
TT: A tough task for Mariano tonight as well!
*DING DING DING!*
TT: Chemical X comes at Mariano with his arms up, ready for a fight. Mariano backs up, nearing the corner...and he hits Chemical X with a kick to the calf! X shakes it off as he comes at Mariano with a right...and a second! Mariano is backed in to the corner, and X delivers a hard back elbow!
X whips Mariano to the opposite corner and quickly follows in, but Mariano uses the corner as a springboard, leaping back for a flying crossbody! Mariano quickly returns to his feet, as does X. X comes at Mariano with a lariat, but Mariano counters with a crucifix! X forces Mariano around...sidewalk slam!
TT: Chemical X is going to have to slow down Mariano in this match!
BC: And Mariano is going to have to avoid the brawling game of Chemical X!
TT: X brings Mariano back to his feet and delivers a vicious forearm...and a second! He forces Mariano back in to the ropes. X whips Mariano in to the ropes. Mariano with a spinwheel kick off the rebound, and he takes X down!
BC: So quick with that move!
TT: Mariano waits as Mariano reaches a sitting position, and he places a perfect running kick to the chest! Mariano makes his way to the ropes. He springboards...moonsault...NO! X moves out of the way and Mariano lands on his feet! X rushes in after returning to his feet...massive lariat!
X brings Mariano to a sitting position and applies a rear chin lock. X brings in a hard forearm, drilling Mariano in the chest! And he nails him with the second forearm! X forces Mariano back to his feet and floats over to a side headlock. X quickly flings Mariano back to the mat, applying more pressure to the headlock!
BC: X has taken total control!
TT: Mariano is struggling...and he finally is able to counter as he traps Chemical X with a headscissors! X is struggling as he tries to break Mariano's grip...and he's finally able to! X is to his feet as Mariano is getting back up. X with a right, and he quickly grabs Mariano's arm, going behind for a rear hammerlock!
BC: So unusual to see Chemical X use a submission like this, but he realizes that if he wants to win...he has to slow Mariano down!
TT: Mariano has X by the head as he leaps in the air...jumping snapmare! X is in the seated position as Mariano quickly hits the far ropes...dropkick on the rebound and X is down! Mariano makes the quick cover!
TT: X with the kickout! Mariano waits as X slowly gets back to his feet. Mariano rushes in...jumping snapmare...no!!! X blocks it, but Mariano is able to flip behind him! Mariano with a rear waist lock as he tries to pull X down for a rollup...but X is too close to the ropes as he holds them to prevent the move!
BC: Look at how quick Mariano is!
TT: Mariano is back to his feet and he comes at X...but X elevates him, launching him over the top rope and sending him crashing to the outside!
TJ lurks around the corner edging in on Mariano, but X quickly rolls out of the ring and holds him back. X picks Mariano up and rolls him in to the ring. He slides in after.
TT: That's different. Chemical X STOPPED TJ from attacking Mariano!
BC: Well, of course! It would cause a disqualification! Not to mention, Chemical X is a man of his word! He said this would be a fair fight, and damn it...it will be!
TT: X brings Mariano back to his feet and forces him in to the corner.
BC: Did you notice that Mariano is limping, Teddy?
TT: Well, he did land pretty rough on the outside!
X delivers a shoulder to the gut, dazing Mariano. He makes his way to the center of the ring. X turns back to Mariano and rushes in for a lariat...but Mariano gets the boots up! Mariano flips up to the top rope as X crashes to the mat.
TT: Oh my! Look at this! Mariano's on the top rope...X is down! SHOOTING STAR PRESS...and X rolls out of the way!!!
BC: Good thing for X too! That surely would have spelled the end!
TT: X is back to his feet...and he's waiting as Mariano slowly brings himself back to his feet...X'ED OUT...NO!!! Mariano ducked it! He grabs X from behind...running bulldog!
BC: What a match, Teddy! What a match!
TT: It looks like Mariano is waiting for X to get back up!
BC: This could be a mistake here!
TT: X slowly rises to his feet...and Mariano rushes in...NO!!! His leg gave out!
BC: We saw that nasty landing he took on the outside...and we can now see just how much it has effected him!
TT: Indeed! It looked like we were going to see the Yakuza there! And look at this! X takes the quick advantage as he grabs Mariano. He lifts Mariano in to the air...shin breaker! X drops Mariano to the mat and quickly wraps his legs around Mariano's!
BC: This is a potential submission here!
Mariano struggles as the pain shoots throughout his leg! X tightens his legs, applying more pressure to the submission. The ref checks on Mariano, but Mariano won't give up! He struggles as he tries to drag himself to the ropes! He's almost there...a hand's length...inches...almost...and he's got it!
TT: Chemical X releases the hold and drags Mariano back to the center of the ring. He twists Mariano's leg...figure four leg lock! Again focusing on the leg!
BC: What a brilliant strategy here!
TT: Mariano is in extreme pain here as he is trying to break the hold!
BC: He has him right in the center of the ring, Teddy! This is over!
TT: Mariano is struggling...but it looks like he's starting to fade! He slowly falling back...and his shoulders are on the mat!
TT: Mariano barely sits back up in time! The ref is checking on Mariano again...but Mariano is fighting the pain with everything he has! And now he's trying to drag himself to the ropes! He's closer...closer...and X applies more pressure!
BC: LOOK!!! He's about to tap out! His hand is in the air, and he's fighting with everything he has, trying to clinch his fist! He's going to tap here, Teddy! I can feel it!
TT: Mariano continues to struggle...and he again looks like he's fading! And his shoulders are down again!
TT: Mariano again rises up just in time! And it looks like he might have a second wind as he pulls himself to the ropes...and he's got it! He has the bottom rope!
BC: WHAT THE HELL!
TT: X releases the hold and quickly gets back to his feet. He picks Mariano back up with a front face lock. X lifts Mariano vertical...and Mariano connects with a hard knee to the skull! X drops Mariano as he stumbles back. X rushes at Mariano, and Mariano catches him with a drop toe hold!
BC: How can Mariano come back at this point?
TT: I'm not sure, Bobby. Mariano applies the rear hammerlock on X as X lays on the mat. Mariano springs in to the air...and he brings his good knee in to X's arm! And again! Mariano hits the far ropes...no! He falls to a knee as his leg has once again given out!
BC: This is not good for Mariano!
TT: Mariano makes his way back to X and drops his good knee to the back of X's skull! X rolls on to his back as Mariano steps out to the apron. Mariano with the slingshot...in to a summersault senton! And he has the cover!
Chemical X kicks out! Mariano limps back to a standing position. He grabs X to pull him back up...X with a single leg takedown! And he quickly flips Mariano over...ankle lock submission! Mariano screams in pain as he lays on the verge of tapping! He's struggling as the ref checks on him! Mariano tries to inch his way to the ropes!
TT: He NEEDS to reach the ropes! He can't last much longer!
BC: Come on X! Make the golden boy tap!
TT: Mariano has it! He has the bottom rope!
X releases the ankle lock and waits as Mariano uses the ropes to pull himself back to his feet.
TT: Mariano is dazed as Chemical X has had total control for the last few minutes!
BC: GFY!!! GFY!!!
TT: Mariano stumbles...X'ED OUT...NO!!!! Mariano ducked under the kick, and he rolls X up!!!
TT: He did it! He did it, Bobby!
BC: Where the hell was the ref on that call?! Chemical X had his hand on the bottom rope!
*DING DING DING!*
Ring Announcer: Here is your winner...MARIANO "SHADOW" FERNANDEZ!!!
Chemical X springs to his feet in disbelief. He argues with the referee as Mariano poses for the crowd. TJ climbs in to the ring standing face to face with Mariano. Chemical X quickly makes his way over and pushes TJ back!
BC: What the hell is Chemical X doing?!
TT: Chemical X just pushed TJ back....and he's holding out his hand for Mariano to shake!
Mariano looks around at the cheering crowd...and he shakes Chemical X's hand! GFY!!! GFY out of no where, and Mariano stumbles back in to TJ! TJ drills Mariano with a German Suplex and keeps his grip as X goes for a Microphone. The crowd explodes in boos!
CHEMICAL X: Do it again Jay!
TT: TJ with another german suplex!
CHEMICAL X: And Again!
TJ lands a third German Suplex!
CHEMICAL X: This is CWFs fastest rising star? ... AGAIN!
TJ lands a fourth german suplex on the tiny Mariano who is now knocked out. TJ drags a hazy Mariano over to the turnbuckle
CHEMICAL X: Once again I've done to you what I've done to every single opponent I've ever faced and that was exposed a weakness. Your weakness is trust. And that trust led you to failure!
X backhands Mariano who slumps in to the corner!
CHEMICAL X: Now, you are seconds away from joining your little lady in a coma. All because you weren't focused on me kid. You were focused on Magnuts, If you were focused on me... you would have seen this coming. But you weren't, you wanted to believe that there was some good in me because that would make you're whole life easier. Guess what, there is no good me. Just anarchy. There's no rhyme, theres no reason. But I am violent beyond measure, you're about to learn a valuable lesson tonight,
TT: X is signaling to TJ...and TJ promptly tosses X a steal chair!
CHEMICAL X: Seasons Beatings Mariano! Ho! Ho! HO!
X drops the microphone and bashes Mariano in the skull with the chair! Blood seeps out of Mariano's skull as X looks down at him smiling. EMT's rush out to the ring as X and TJ make their way up the aisle. The EMT's check on Mariano, and they strap him on to the stretcher.
TT: This is not good, Bobby! What a cowardly and malice attack from Chemical X here tonight!
The EMT's wheel Mariano up the aisle and to the back as the crowd overwhelms the arena with boos!
TT: Well…a huge victory for Mariano Fernandez nonetheless, a big win for him to head into 2010 with, but I guess Chemical X isn’t in the Christmas spirit. What a match though.
BC: And the big ones are still to come!
TT: Yes indeed, the Pledge Allegiance Memorial Cup match is next in line, and this could be an emotional match, folks…the honor of Pledge Allegiance’s memory is front and center as three legends in this business battle it out in his name. Don’t go anywhere folks, that match is next!
TT: Alright fans, welcome back to CWF Night of Champions IV: Season’s Beatings, and thanks to our proud sponsor, Spider Sitebuilder, the world’s easiest and most powerful website builder. Well this is it folks, the Pledge Allegiance Memorial Cup…
BC: Here we go again.
TT: It’s time for The 1st Annual Pledge Allegiance Memorial Cup. As everyone is well aware of, our American Icon, Pledge Allegiance announced his retirement shortly after the last Night of Champions. On a humanitarian mission for his charitable organization, The Pledge Allegiance Foundation, his plane crashed into the Atlantic Ocean, just off the coast of Florida. Pledge was presumed missing up until last week when his remains were found on a newly discovered piece of the wreckage.
BC: Boo friggin’ hoo!
TT: Trixie Lee has invited individuals who have been instrumental in Pledge’s career to participate in this triple threat match. So, tonight…we celebrate the life…and the career…of our American Icon, the one…the only…Pledge Allegiance!
“TNT” by AC/DC booms throughout the arena. Shawn “Hellstone” Hillard appears at the top of the ramp. His long, flowing red hair is soaking wet. He’s wearing a black leather trench coat and has long black tights with flames up the sides of the legs. He walks down the aisle with purpose, barely acknowledging those trying to get his attention at ringside. He stops mid way down the aisle, turns around and gestures at the curtain…
TT: Can it be? It is!
Ring Announcer: This triple threat match is scheduled for one fall! And it is for The 1st Annual Pledge Allegiance Memorial Cup. First…coming down the aisle…accompanied by his manager, Don Russo…weighing in at 298 pounds…from Death Valley, California…he is Shawn…”Hellstone”…Hillard!
Don Russo’s appearance automatically pops the crowd and everyone in attendance jumps to their feet.
TT: This match is surely going to be a classic, Bobby. All three of these guys are true legends.
BC: Yeah, Hellstone hasn’t been in a CWF ring in almost 10 years…just around the last time he took a shower too!
The BlairVision Theme hits the arena as the crowd instantly erupts in cheers. A series of fireworks blast off on the stage followed by one huge blast in the center. Paul Blair steps out to the stage, decked out in red, white, and blue outfit, similar to Apollo Creed’s from Rocky IV to commemorate his “dear friend” Pledge Allegiance. The crowd gets even louder with their cheers. He salutes his fans and shows off Robin Cradle before making their way down the aisle.
Ring Announcer: Making his way to the ring...accompanied by Robin Cradle! Hailing from River Falls, Wisconsin and weighing in at 275 pounds..."THE RULER" PAUL BLAIR!
"Crazy Train" by Ozzy Osbourne blares in the arena as the crowd rings out in a chorus of boos. Jimmy Blast steps out to the stage. Blast surveys the crowd, raises his arms and a series of pyros blast off on the stage. He walks down the aisle immune to all of the boos.
Ring Announcer: Making his way to the ring...representing the Horsemen…JAMMIN’ JIMMY BLAST!
*DING DING DING!*
TT: …And there’s the bell! Hellstone charges right at Blast. There’s no love lost between these two. Blast was an antagonist to The Russo Family back in SAW, more specifically to Hellstone’s little buddy Simon Styles. Hellstone and Blast are trading rights and lefts while Blair just watches.
BC: Hellstone with the obvious size advantage grabs Blast by the throat and tosses him into the corner.
TT: Hillard climbs the ropes and pounds on Blast…the crowd chants along…
BC: Here comes Blair, full head of steam into the corner…
TT: Hillard heard him coming and jumped out of the way. Blair just smashed into The Blaster and pancaked into the corner!
BC: Hellstone grabs Blair and delivers a double noggin knocker to The Ruler and The Blaster and they both drop to the canvas.
TT: A usually unemotional Hellstone is gesticulating to the crowd. Welcome back Shawn Hillard!
BC: Don Russo is barking orders at him to keep him on track!
TT: Blast pops up and gives Hellstone a high knee to the back, sends him into the ropes and takes him down with a neck breaker.
BC: Ha! You said hiney!
TT: You truly are ridiculous!
BC: Blair’s up now too and both he and Blast are stomping away at Hellstone!
TT: Blair extends his hand out to Blast.
BC: These two are going to work together?
TT: Blast starts to put his hand out…eye poke from The Ruler. Blast is stunned!
BC: Blair cracks Blast square in the jaw with an elbow.
TT: I think he may have rattled Blast’s dentures with that shot!
BC: Oh you made a funny! Nice job!
TT: In a daze, Blast trips over Hellstone and falls to the mat.
BC: Blair drops an elbow on Blast, pops up, and drops one on Hellstone.
TT: The Ruler is squarely in control here and Robin is giving her man a round of applause.
BC: Blast, over to Hellstone…
TT: He’s picking him up by his hair and slaps him in the face! Hellstone is still woozy. Blair gestures to the crowd…no he isn’t…
BC: Yes he is…
TT: Blair tosses Hellstone into the ropes…PLEDGE HAMMER!
BC: Paul Blair has given Shawn “Hellstone” Hillard the Pledge Hammer, the signature move of the man we’re honoring tonight!
TT: The cover…one…two…th…
BC: There’s The Blaster to break it up!
TT: Blair is mad as Hell and he’s gonna take it out on Jimmy. The two of them are pounding the Hell out of one another…Blast low blows Blair! Now THAT’s definitely not fair to Blair!
BC: Now THAT’s why Jimmy is the dirtiest player in the game.
TT: Blair might be singing soprano in his church’s Christmas pageant this year!
BC: Wow…two funnies!
TT: And The Original Hellraiser, Hillard is back to his feet! Hellstone grabs Blast from behind…HELLSTORM! OH MY GOD! He just Hellstormed Blast out of the ring! Hellstone came here to show he can still go and by God he can!
BC: Not so fast!
TT: Here comes Blair, like a thief in the night… He swings Hellstone around…BLAIR KICK!!!!!
BC: Ha! Hellstone just got dropped like a sack of potatoes!
TT: The cover!
*DING DING DING!*
Ring Announcer: Here is your winner…PAUL BLAIR!
TT: Blair has done it! He has won The Pledge Allegiance Memorial Cup!
BC: Oh, what a great honor! Not!
TT: These three legends have torn down the house here tonight! And here comes Trixie Lee, trophy in hand. Look at it, it’s beautiful. That has to be 20 pounds of solid gold, diamonds and red, white, and blue jewels. Amazing!
Trixie Lee enters the ring, applauds, and presents the trophy to Blair. Blair hugs Trixie, takes the trophy and goes to all four corners of the ring and presents it to the crowd who is raining their praises on him. An emotional Blair helps tend to the fallen Hellstone, shakes hands with Trixie, exits the ring and heads up the ramp.
Trixie waves to the crowd and again, and helps tend to Hellstone. As Trixie is helping Hellstone, The Blaster comes to, sneaks in and clips Hellstone’s knee, sending him to mat writhing in pain. Next, Jimmy sets Trixie in her sights and she tries to beg him off. He grabs her by the back of the neck and she cocks back and slaps the taste out of his mouth. An angry Blast reaches out and grabs her again then…
The lights go out…
TT: What the Hell is going on here? Are we still on?
BC: I just got word from the truck that the arena is experiencing a power outage, but we’re still live, on the air.
“O, Fortuna” plays from the PA system.
TT: This music, it’s so haunting. I guess we’re not out of power after all!
BC: What the hell is going on here?!
Blinding light from the rafters fill the arena and white smoke billows up from the stage area.
TT: OH MY GOD! HE’S ALIIIIIIIIIIVE!
The American Icon, Pledge Allegiance, decked out in all white descends from the rafters, in a harness, arms out to his side.
TT: IT’S PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE! HE’S ALIVE! HE’S BACK!!!!!! OH MY GOD! MIRACLES DO HAPPEN!!!!!
BC: This is unbelievable! I don’t believe my eyes! No! This can’t be!
TT: Pledge Allegiance is alive and well!
BC: Meanwhile, Blast and Trixie look like they have seen a ghost!
TT: They have!
Pledge Allegiance finally reaches the stage area and the crowd goes absolutely bananas. As soon as he gets to the stage, pyro comes up from the floor and he releases himself from his harness. “O, Fortuna” comes to an end, there’s a quick moment of silence and then “Iron Man” blazes though out the arena and everyone in attendance jumps to their feet.
BC: Ahhhhhh! I was hoping to never hear this song again!
TT: And here comes Pledge! Tearing down the aisle!
Pledge charges towards the ring and slides under the bottom rope and Jimmy Blast begins to stomp on him. Pledge stands up immediately as if he’s impervious to Blast’s assault. Blast tries to hit Pledge with a right but he’s unphased. Blast tries a left and does no damage. Blast then tries to beg Pledge off but Pledge is having none of it.
TT: Pledge and Blast are now trading rights and lefts! Unbelievable! Pledge with a quick knee to Blast! Blast is now doubled over in pain and is in some serious trouble.
BC: Oh no! Oh no!
TT: Pledge is grabs The Blaster…hoists him up…PLEDGE HAMMER!!
BC: NO! NO! NO! Ha Ha Teddy! Blaster, ever the wily veteran squirmed out! Too bad Pledge…The Blaster lives to fight another day!
TT: Look at Jimmy Blast high tail it out of here! He doesn’t want any part of Pledge! The roof has blown off this place! These people have gone nuts! Their hero has returned from the dead!! Oh my God!!
BC: Hey look! Trixie’s going over to Pledge! The love of her life is back! I think I’m gonna puke!
TT: These two are soul mates! They have been reunited! True love conquers all, Bobby!
BC: Are you kidding me??? I think you’ve been watching too much Lifetime! It’s TV For Women…and Teddy Turnbuckle!
TT: I don’t care Bobby, call me a sap!
Pledge motions for Trixie to come to him and he holds out his arms to hug her. Trixie, still in shock comes over. She comes right up to him, opens up to give Pledge a hug but hauls back and gives Pledge the slap of a lifetime right across the face.
BC: Ha! Take that Pledge!
TT: Trixie just slapped the taste out of Pledge’s mouth! She has just left him in the dust and is headed back to the dressing room. She’s just shaking her head in belief.
BC: I love it! No fairy tale ending tonight, Teddy!
TT: I don’t know about that, Bobby! Pledge Allegiance is back! And he looks great and he has his sights set on Jimmy Blast! It’s a bad day to be The Blaster!
BC: Are you kidding me, Teddy? Blast will make mince meat out of this chump!
TT: I don’t know about that!
Pledge goes to all the turnbuckles and raises his arms and celebrates his return with Don Russo, Hellstone, and everyone else in attendance. He hops over the top rope and makes his way up the ramp, slapping hands along the way. He get to the top of the stage, waves, bows, and goes back behind the curtain.
TT: I can’t believe what I just saw…
BC: He’s alive! He’s ALLLIIIIVVVE!
TT: What a moment! What a damn moment!
BC: You mean to tell me Pledge has been alive this WHOLE time, and we’ve been subjected to Trixie Lee’s whining and crying for nearly two damn months? Ugh.
TT: Well it’s great to have Pledge back! And up next, it’s the one that the entire locker room has been waiting for! It’s been tense for weeks with this Nitemare’s Nightmare character playing head games with Rob Osbourne, and it’s all boiled over to this night, this match, this moment. Inside a steel cage, Rob Osbourne will go one on one with this mystery assailant, and hopefully we will find out who is pulling the strings.
BC: Well I have it on good authority that he will be revealed tonight, but let’s stop and look at this for a moment. When was the last time ANYONE got into Rob Osbourne’s head like this? I mean, he is the master of the mind games, or so he claims, but this has really got to him, it’s worn him thin, he’s tired, he’s weary, and he is pissed the hell off. It’s gonna be a long night in the cage for this mystery assailant.
TT: And with that in mind folks…let’s not wait any longer. Let’s head to the ring!
The crowd roars as the steel cage begins to lower. A thumping bass line rumbles through the arena as it does.
Ring Announcer: The following contest is a CAGE MATCH! The rules are simple…in order to win the match, you must escape the cage either by climbing out of it and by stepping through the door. The man who’s feet touch the floor first will be declared the winner!
The crowd roars.
Ring Announcer: Introducing first…from Windermere, Florida by way of Nashville, Tennessee…weighing in at 245 pounds… “THE NITEMARE” ROB OSBOURNE!
"All Nightmare long" by Metallica begins playing as the lights in the arena go black. A crack of thunder is heard as a pyrotechnically produced bolt of lightning strikes the stage as the opening guitar riff ends and the drums kick in. As the lyrics of the song begin purple spotlights swirl around the arena followed by a double arc of pyro that shoots out of the floor as "The Nitemare" Rob Osbourne steps out onto the stage as the fans erupt and tear the roof off of the building with a mix of cheers and heartfelt boos. Osbourne poses at the top of the ramp as the opening verse ends and the chorus kicks in. He enters through the cage door and climbs to the top of it and poses as the music fades out.
TT: Man, he is ready to take care of business tonight.
BC: You can almost see the steam coming out of his ears, Teddy! He’s been waiting for this night for a long time!
TT: And now, will we finally find out who this mystery assailant is?
The lights in the arena turn to black light. The video wall turns to static as all of the quotes from the previous weeks appear quickly, and then "The Nitemare Will Die Tonight" appears on the screen. "Iron Man" by Black Sabbath begins to play as the video wall shows clips of the Nitemare losing matches and receiving powerful finishing moves by former opponents.
TT: Wait a damn minute…I know that theme song…
BC: Pledge? How can it be Pledge? He’s dead!
Ring Announcer: And his opponent, making his way to the ring from the Mountains of North Carolina....JAGERMEISTER!
The large man walks onto the stage donning black sunglasses, wearing black pants, covered in tattoos on his entire upper body, and wrists are taped up to his elbows. He begins to slowly walk down the aisle not taking his sights off the Nitemare.
TT: Whoa, I guess Jagermeister is the mystery man’s name…who the hell is this?
BC: I have no idea, Teddy…I’ve never heard of him before.
Jagermeister enters the ring through the cage door and stands in the corner just staring down NRO.
TT: No doubt this is not what Rob Osbourne expected. He doesn’t want this…this…Jagermeister…he wants the man pulling his strings!
*DING DING DING!*
TT: Alright, well here we go, and I’m extremely glad they’re locked in the confines of that steel cage or else I might worry for my safety.
BC: You’re not kidding…Rob Osbourne is like a raging bull in there, just kicking dust with his hooves and getting ready to charge.
Jagermeister stands in the corner, ominous, with an arrogant smirk on his face. Nitemare has waited long enough, and charges at him with a head of steam, unloading on him with right hands. Jagermeister is overwhelmed and Nitemare refuses to let him…he backs him into the corner and fires wild lefts and rights, each one connecting like a shot and sending Jagermeister’s head whipping back! Nitemare whips him to the ropes…Lou Thesz press and Nitemare has him on the mat driving furious fists into his forehead!
TT: Rob Osbourne is a man possessed! He’s finally got his hands on the man that’s been tormenting him for the past month and he’s making it count…and it’s all legal, folks! There are no disqualifications in a cage match!
BC: This is why we called the show Season’s Beatings!
TT: Rob Osbourne is certainly making it live up to the moniker!
Osbourne continues to drive fists of fury into Jagermeister’s forehead, and stops to shake his hand, hurting from connecting with all the blows. Jagermeister desperately takes the opportunity to roll Nitemare off of him and backs into the corner on the seat of his pants. Nitemare stalks over towards him and Jagermeister begs him off. Osbourne reaches in and pulls him back to his feet…and chops him hard across the chest! And again! And again! Nitemare repeatedly smacking him with open palms on the chest, and Jagermeister is lit up like a Christmas tree! Osbourne whips him to the opposite corner…and Jagermeister hits the buckle with authority! Osbourne stomps over to him and mounts the second turnbuckle…and DRIVES his fist into Jagermeister’s forehead as the crowd counts along!
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10! And as Jagermeister’s head sways, reeling, Nitemare bites him on the bridge of the nose and shoves him down to the mat! Jagermeister’s forehead is busted wide open and he has a small tooth-shaped cut on his nose.
TT: My God almighty, this match has barely begun and Jagermeister is bleeding for the head and nose! Rob Osbourne is not screwing around tonight, he is pissed and he’s showing the world not to cross the Nitemare!
BC: This is gonna be a long night for this Jagermeister character!
Jagermeister tries to get to his feet but repeatedly loses his balance. Nitemare to the top rope…Jagermeister staggering and gets to his feet, barely able to maintain his equilibrium…and Nitemare crashes down from above with a double axe handle that connects! Jagermeister hits the mat and Osbourne is going for the door!
TT: He’s gonna make a quick exit!
BC: Ahhh! He’s gonna get out!
The door swings open and Nitemare sticks his head through, preparing to step out…but Jagermeister, in a surge of energy, darts to his feet and grabs Nitemare by the tights. Nitemare grips the cage door with his fingers and it swings to and fro as Nitemare and Jagermeister struggle against each other…Nitemare reaches into his tights and the cage door closes…Nitemare pulls out a padlock! He had a padlock in his tights and he turns…hooks it around his fingers, spins around…and nails Jagermeister in the head with it! Jagermeister drops like dead weight and Osbourne clamps the padlock on the door!
TT: Rob Osbourne has locked the damn door from the inside with his own padlock! That means the only way to get out is by climbing out of the cage!
BC: He doesn’t want Jagermeister taking the easy way out! There’s nowhere to run, nowhere to hide for this guy and Nitemare is having his way with him!
A knot forms on Jagermeister’s head where the padlock connected, and Nitemare pulls him up to his feet…and throws him into the cage wall…and holds him there! Jagermeister grimaces as Nitemare scrapes his face against the mesh cage! Blood smears the cage and Osbourne shoves him back to the mat! Nitemare grabs his legs and splits them open…and drives a boot into the lower midsection! Jagermeister in a world of pain and Osbourne now to the second rope…he goes for an elbow drop across the chest…but Jagermeister instinctively rolls out of the way and Osbourne gets nothing but mat! Osbourne rolls on the mat clutching his elbow and Jagermeister desperately drags himself to the ropes, looking through a crimson mask and spitting blood out of his mouth.
TT: We knew it would be brutal, folks…but my God, look at the condition Jagermeister is in and that’s just from Osbourne’s initial offense…if he hits the damn Badd Dream, Jagermeister would be defenseless and Osbourne would surely end his career…
BC: This is a scary side of Rob Osbourne, Teddy! Whoever this guy is, he wanted the Nitemare…he got him!
Jagermeister uses the ropes to pull himself up, barely using his legs to get to his feet. Osbourne gets to his feet at the same time and Jagermeister runs at him…boot to the face! Osbourne stumbles down to the mat slouches against the middle rope…Jagermeister sees his chance and knows he has to get some offense in…he runs to the ropes…DROP KICK TO THE FACE! And Nitemare’s neck whiplashes over the middle rope! He rolls to his side clutching the back of his neck.
TT: Ouch…that looked dangerous…Nitemare may have a stinger here, or worse…
BC: Either way, Jagermeister has a chance to collect himself now. That’s all he needed to do was buy himself some time…you can’t leave the ring to catch your breath like in a regular matchup when you’re inside that cage.
TT: Very good point, and it looks like Jagermeister is doing exactly that, trying to shake out the cobwebs and get back in this thing. He’s sustained the explosive attack that we all expected, he’s going to feel the effects of it the rest of the way, but now he has a chance to do some damage.
Jagermeister pulls him to his feet. Osbourne on spaghetti legs, and whips him to the ropes…Osbourne ducks a clothesline…and runs back on the rebound…leap frog! No! Jagermeister catches him in mid air with one arm compressed into his chest and SLAMS him down with a modified spinebuster!
TT: My God! That was freakish strength!
BC: Geez…looks like this guy is more dangerous than he initially looked!
Jagermeister stomps Nitemare furiously, as if angered that he would dare fight back. He pulls him up by his hair and hanging onto it, thrashes him into the cage wall! Nitemare bounces off the mesh and rebounds back…Jagermeister with a wicked clothesline that sends Nitemare twisting 360 degrees in the air before hitting the mat! Jagermeister pounds his chest to a smattering of boos from the crowd.
BC: Let me ask you Teddy…could Roland Ulv really be the one behind this guy? He’s barbaric!
TT: I don’t know, there are a lot of questions that need answering tonight...
Jagermeister begins scaling the cage wall, trying to escape…Nitemare groggily gets to his feet though and pulls him down…and Jagermeister lands straddling the top rope! Nitemare shakes the rope and Jagermeister bobs up and down, bellowing out in pain as the rope jingles his bells…Nitemare shakes him off with one big, final rip of the rope, and Jagermeister flops back into the ring! Osbourne seething and he walks over to the corner and starts tearing away the turnbuckle padding.
TT: My God, if looks could kill, Rob Osbourne would be on death row! He is ripping that turnbuckle away like gift wrap on Christmas morning and wait a damn minute! What the hell!
Rob Osbourne pulls the turnbuckle pad off and resting inside the groove of the pad is a small bag.
BC: Ha! Looks like Santa left him a little stocking stuffer before the match!
TT: What the hell is in that bag? …oh no! Oh God! Not…
BC: THUMB TACKS! AHHH!
The crowd roars as Rob Osbourne pours open the bag of thumbtacks and spreads them across the mat. Jagermeister looks on from the mat, clutching his groin in pain. His eyes widen as Nitemare spreads the thumbtacks around.
TT: This is about to get sick! There’s no need to bring thumbtacks into this!
BC: Those are thumbtacks, it’s just Christmas cheer! Nitemare is just trying to spread a little holiday spirit!
TT: Yeah, right…the only thing Osbourne is trying to spread is Jagermeister’s blood all over the damn mat!
A sadistic smile crosses the face of Rob Osbourne. He cocks his head and looks over his shoulder at Jagermeister, licking his lips and glaring at him with evil eyes. Jagermeister sits up and begs him off, backing himself up until he hits the ropes. He rolls under the bottom rope hoping to exit the ring but hits the wall and remembers he’s locked inside a cage with no way out but over the top. He immediately scrambles to his feet and desperately begins to climb the cage but Nitemare pulls him down by his tights and heaves him back into the ring! Jagermeister backing up again but he backs into a sea of thumbtacks and quickly retreats the other way…Nitemare closes in on him but Jagermeister desperately thumbs him in the eye! Nitemare staggers back, blinded…and teeters precariously over the thumbtacks! It looks like a slight wind would knock him down and Jagermeister charges at him wildly with a clothesline! NO! Nitemare ducks! But Jagermeister leaps over the thumbtacks and lands on the middle rope, almost losing his balance but grabbing onto the cage wall to maintain it and avoiding the thumbtacks below! Jagermeister climbing the cage! He’s climbing the cage and Osbourne is blocked by the thumbtacks! Jagermeister climbing as fast as he can but the toe of his boot gets stuck in the mesh! Osbourne grits his teeth and steps through the thumbtacks! Each tack piercing through the sole of his boot and Osbourne grimaces and they stick into the soles of his feet! He makes it to the cage and meets Jaggermeister half way up!
TT: Rob Osbourne’s foot is a damn pincushion but my God, he paid the price and got to Jaggermeister!
BC: He’s got too much pride to let this one slip away and something bad is about to happen!
TT: What goes up must come down! But which one of them is coming down? Whoever it is has nowhere to land but in the damn thumbtacks!
Osbourne throws a right hand at him and connects! Jaggermeister’s head whips back and he struggles to hang onto the cage…but he does and throws a sledgehammer-like right hand into the jaw of Osbourne! Osbourne’s feet dangle from the cage as he hangs on by one hand! Jaggermeister biting his hand! Nitemare’s fingers lose their grip one by one, until he hangs only by his index finger! Jaggermeister looks down at him and waves good bye as he lifts his foot up to dramatically stomp out his last life line! But Osbourne bursts up…LOW BLOW! He nailed Jaggermeister from below with a low blow and he climbs back up to eye level with the big man!
TT: OH NO! OH NO!
Nitemare tucks his head under his arm…BADD DREAM OFF THE CAGE INTO THE THUMBTACKS! The cameras flash and the crowd explodes!
TT: MY GOD! MY GOD! MY GOD! JAGGERMEISTER HAS THUMBTACKS STICKING OUT OF HIS DAMN BLOODIED FOREHEAD AND NITEMARE SACRIFICED HIMSELF! NITEMARE IS A HUMAN PIN CUSHION!
BC: Oh my God! Look at the tacks sticking out of his back!
Nitemare arches his back and squints his face, gritting his teeth as blood tricks down to his waist. Jaggermeister rolls on the mat convulsing, thumbtacks piercing his forehead and chest. This seems to satisfy Nitemare, who despite the agonizing pain, smiles through clenched teeth and rolls himself up to his feet.
TT: My God this is sick! This is absolutely sickening and Rob Osbourne is loving every damn second of it!
Nitemare slowly begins to scale the cage, each step more agonizing than the last, until at last he reaches the top of the cage and looks down at Jaggermeister, grinning spitefully as he squirms on the mat in pain. As Nitemare prepares to descend to the floor for the victory, the crowd explodes as a man repels from the rafters!
TT: WHAT THE HELL! LOOK UP! LOOK UP!
The man drops right next to Osbourne, and lifts back his hood for only Osbourne to see. Osbourne’s eyes widen and he mouths the words “you son of a bitch!”
TT: Who is it?! Who the hell is it?!
Suddenly the man grabs Osbourne and sails off the cage with him, CRASHING THROUGH THE SPANISH ANNOUNCE TABLE!
TT: OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!
*DING DING DING!*
Ring Announcer: Here is your winner… “THE NITEMARE” ROB OSBOURNE!
TT: OSBOURNE WON THE MATCH BUT AT WHAT COST?!
BC: I know that move, Teddy! That wasn’t the Radiant Plex, that’s for sure! That’s not Roland Ulv!
TT: Then what was it? WHO was it?
BC: That was Tige Time! And that’s not Roland Ulv, that’s Tige!
TT: OH MY GOD! YOU’RE RIGHT! It’s TIGE!
Sure enough, the mystery man who has come to be known as the Nitemare’s Nightmare sits up from the wreckage of the Spanish announce table and pulls his hood back, and the crowd explodes as Tige reveals himself, wide eyed and pounding his chest as the crowd marks out!
BC: This is crazy! Never in a million years did we think we’d see Tige back in wrestling!
TT: He’s been behind this the whole damn time?! He’s been the one screwing with Rob Osbourne’s head?! Osbourne is going to be irate when he gets up!
Tige walks over to the cage door and pulls a pair of bolt cutters, brought into the arena earlier by Jagermeister, and cuts the door off its hinges. He slams it down on the ground and walks around to drag an unconscious Nitemare in by his hair. Once in the ring, Tige smiles and looks down at the fallen Rob Osbourne. He holds his arm up, victorious, and pulls a mic out of his hoodie, leaning down and getting in Nitemare’s face.
Tige: I am not here to kill you Rob, and you are not going to die. You’re just too much fun for that. You personally asked for this, Nitemare, and this is nothing personal...just business. Ain't it Cool?
The crowd has marked out to the point that cheers cannot be discerned from boos, but as Tige helps Jagermeister to his feet and the two embrace, the crowd pops enormously as storming through the curtain is JACK MASON!
TT: JACK MASON! JACK MASON IS HERE!
Mason storms down to the ring, followed by about twenty…tribesmen.
TT: Who the hell are these guys?!
BC: Hey I saw a documentary about these guys a while back…those are Congolese tribesmen, Teddy!
TT: What the hell are they doing with Jack Mason?!
Mason steps through the door and into the cage, and Tige smiles at him, expecting an embrace from his old EWA alumni. Instead, Mason throws a right hand at Jaggermeister! Jaggermeister, blindsides, drops to the mat. Tige’s eyes widen and Mason throws wild punches at him! Tige throwing them back! Mason and Tige going at it tooth and nail!
TT: MASON AND TIGE! MASON AND TIGE! AND MY GOD I NEVER THOUGHT I’D SAY THOSE WORDS!
BC: What?! I can’t hear a damn thing! This crowd has officially blown the roof off this damn place!
Jaggermeister gets to his knees and manages to pull Mason back, allowing Tige to scramble up the cage and reattach his bungee cord. Mason tries to go after him but Tige repels back up to the rafters! Jaggermeister from begin Mason…and he clubs him in the back! Nitemare starting to come around though, and the Congolese tribesmen swarm the ring, assaulting Jaggermeister! Jaggermeister doesn’t stand a chance and the camera zooms in on Tige, standing on a catwalk above the ring, watching on with concern as Jaggermeister is picked apart by the tribesmen. Mason helps Nitemare to his feet. Nitemare, hunched over in extreme pain and barely able to stand parts the tribesmen like the Red Sea and furiously grabs Jaggermeister. He looks up at Tige and points to him, screaming something at him inaudibly…and DROPS Jaggermeister with a Badd Dream!
TT: My God almighty! Here comes security! This has gotten out of hand!
Security and CWF staff members swarm the cage as it begins to ascend back towards the rigging above the ring. EMTs rush to the scene, security and CWF suits trying to clear the ring area until the entire ringside is flooded with people.
TT: This is pandemonium! This is out of control! And my God, there’s still the main event left! Don’t go anywhere, we will be right back!
BC: This is crazy as hell! Ahhh!
TT: Well the chaos has cleared and my God, did that live up to its billing or what?
BC: Yeah but what happened during the commercial break…well, take a look.
TT: Rob Osbourne ran into Roland Ulv on his way back to the locker room.
DURING THE BREAK…
Rob Osbourne and Jack Mason walk back through the curtain together, Osbourne seething mad and hobbling in pain, Mason supporting him and helping him walk under his own power. As he steps through the curtain, Roland Ulv stands there, stretching for his championship match. Osbourne stops and looks at him.
NRO: Roland! You see that? It was Tige all along!
Roland Ulv: I told yuu iit was not mii.
NRO: You can’t really blame me, champ…all the signs pointed to…
Roland Ulv: Save thii drama fur yur mama, fur sure. Ii must stay focused. Now guud day, fur sure.
NRO: Roland, I…
Roland Ulv: I SAID GUUD DAY, FUR SURE!
Rob Osbourne shakes his head, dejected, and walks away.
Cut back to ringside.
TT: Man oh man, Rob Osbourne must be feeling awfully guilty, accusing Roland Ulv of being the Nitemare’s Nightmare. Roland Ulv said all along it wasn’t him but Osbourne wasn’t buying it.
BC: Yeah well, that’s not the only bad news for Rob Osbourne.
TT: What do you mean?
BC: I have it on good authority that…get this…BRIAN ADAMS has been cleared to wrestle again!
BC: That’s right, the return of the Flawless One is imminent! The wait is over! Not since Summer Smash way back in June has Brian Adams been on CWF programming but 2010 will be the year of the Flawless One and you just KNOW he has his sights set on “The Nitemare” Rob Osbourne!
TT: Well that’s HUGE news! Brian Adams is a big time player and I don’t have to tell you folks at home what his return means for the CWF!
BC: The prodigal son returns! I love it!
TT: Well nonetheless folks, we are on a time constraint with the network so as much as I’d love to talk more about Brian Adams, we have a title match coming up with HUGE implications. Either we will have a new, Radiant CWF World Heavyweight Champion tonight…or Roland Ulv will pack his bags and head back to Sweden, because he will be forced to retire!
BC: Never! You can’t cut a man’s career short in the prime of his life! It’s a damn crime, this match, but it won’t matter! Tonight, Roland Ulv will be your NEW CWF World Heavyweight Champion!
TT: The rivalry between these two huge names in our industry has been brewing since Roland Ulv returned to the business this past summer. These two hate everything about each other but never, NEVER have they gone at it in a match with so much on the line. The wait is over folks…let’s head to the ring for our main event!
Cut to the ring.
Ring Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall...and it is for the WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!!!
The crowd begins to roar.
Ring Announcer: In this match, if Roland Ulv is not victorious...he must retire!!! Introducing first…the challenger! Hailing from the wrestling capital of the world...Stockholm, Sweden! Weighing in at the most Radiant two hundred seventy-five pounds to ever grace a wrestling ring...
Marcia Carolus Rex begins to play, but it’s not from the PA-system. It’s a live marching band.
BC: Looks like the Radiant One has brought out his own marching band!
Ring Announcer: Being led to the ring by the musical division of the Royal Swedish Guard…"THE RADIANT ONE"...ROLAND ULV!!!
The Marching Band make their entrance. Drummers followed by horn players, all dressed in eighteenth century blue and yellow uniforms.
TT: Well if he loses tonight, it looks like Ulv at least will be going out with a bang!
BC: He won’t retire. He mustn’t retire. I want a Radiant World Champion!
The marching band is followed by eight men with bald heads painted blue and yellow, dressed in black suits carrying "The Radiant One" Roland Ulv on a throne.
BC: Ha! I love it! He turned Chicago's Blue Man Group in to the Blue and Yellow Man Group!
Ulv is standing on the throne, greeting the crowd who are giving him a mixed reaction. They reach the ring and the Radiant One quickly get up and climbs a turnbuckle, motioning for his opponent to come out and face him.
TT: It looks like Roland is ready! Let's see if the champion is ready as well!
The lights flicker off to the sound of distant thunder. Lightning flashes across the entrance as the instrumental version of "Haunted" by Type O Negative grinds into the air. The crowd erupts in boos as they await the appearence of the mammoth, but instead of Magnus Thunder, a group of druids step out to the entrance. The slowly make their walk down the aisle as Magnus Thunder finally appears, showered in sparks.
Ring Announcer: Making his way to the ring...from Jotunheim, Norway! Weighing in at five hundred pounds...he is the WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...MAGNUS THUNDER!!!
Magnus strides to the ring as the urn carrying druids surround it. A cold stare and sinister eyes, Magnus steps over the top rope and into his corner. The crowd boos like a swarm of bees from hell as the music fades and the lights return to normal.
TT: The champion has arrived!
The members of the Blue Man Group surround Magnus, circling around him. He looks upon them with his cold stare when suddenly their chests explode!
BC: Oh my god! Ha! Did you just see what I saw, Teddy?!
TT: The Blue Man Group is quickly exiting the ring, and it looks like that explosion was paint...as Magnus is now covered in blue and yellow!!!
BC: He looks like the Swedish flag!
Roland erupts in laughter as he looks upon the enraged Magnus. As he laughs, he doesn't notice that the druids have entered the ring.
BC: What the hell is going on here?!
Roland turns around to see the group of druids, and before he can react...they cover him with the contents of their urns!
TT: What...what is that?!
BC: Such a rancid smell!
TT: I...I think that's Radiant Herring!
The druids exit the ring as Roland looks upon his body in disgust, covered from head to toe in herring. He turns to Magnus who rushes at him with a vicious clothesline as the ref calls for the opening bell!
*DING DING DING!*
TT: There's the bell, and Roland is on the mat, covered in herring!
Magnus grabs a handful of herring and shoves it in to Roland's mouth, force-feeding him the fish! The ref pulls Magnus off admonishing him as Roland spits up some of the fish.
TT: What a strange start to this match! The champion is covered in paint...the challenger is covered in fish!
BC: This has the makings to be the greatest match in CWF history!
TT: Roland has made it back to his feet, and he finally locks up with Magnus! Roland with a thumb to the eye...and an irish whip! No! Magnus prevents the whip as he pulls Roland back to him for a lariat, but Roland ducks under! Roland with a rear waist lock. He lifts Magnus and drops his face first to the mat!
BC: And like that...the champ is on the mat!
TT: Roland applies the front facelock as the referee checks to make sure it's not a choke. Magnus is trying to get back to his feet, but Roland is using his strength to hold Magnus to the mat with that face lock!
Magnus struggles, finally forcing himself back to his feet. Roland holds the face lock, but Magnus quickly lifts him in to a bearhug! He squeezes the life out of Roland, and Roland is quickly forced to release the face lock! The ref checks on Roland, and Roland quickly delivers the headbutt to Magnus...with no effect! Roland delivers a second, and Magnus drops Roland as he stumbles back!
BC: Do you think it was the headbutt that forced him to release the hold...or the taste of that herring?!
TT: Either way, it was effective! Roland follows with a clothesline, knocking Magnus back! Roland hits the far ropes...and he nails Magnus with a second clothesline on the rebound...but the mammoth is still standing! Roland hits the ropes again...clothesline on the rebound...NO!!! Magnus catches him on the wait with a powerful overhead belly to belly!
BC: And Roland plays it smart as he rolls out of the ring in front of us here!
TT: Magnus quickly climbs out of the ring as Roland uses our announce table to pull himself back up.
BC: Not good! I think I'm going to puke!
Bobby quickly reaches behind him in to the crowd and pulls the hat off of a fan at ringside. He proceeds to puke in to the hat.
TT: It looks like my collegue has just lost his lunch!
Bobby looks back at Roland.
BC: I...I think I'm good now.
Magnus boots Roland in the gut. He smashes Roland face first in to the announce table. Herring flies off of him, landing on Bobby's face. A piece of it drips on to his mouth, and he instantly turns to puke in the hat once again! Magnus forces Roland back in to the ring and quickly follows.
TT: You okay, Bobby?
BC: That...that was sick!
TT: Magnus brings Roland back to his feet and quickly takes him back to the mat with a devastating lariat!
BC: I can't get that fish taste out of my mouth, Teddy!
TT: Not my problem, Bobby...not my problem...
Magnus picks Roland back up. He grips around him...T-Bone suplex...and Magnus has the cover!
TT: The Radiant One kicks out! Magnus brings Roland back to his feet...and he applies the abdominal stretch! The ref checks on Roland, as Roland fights through the pain! And Magnus brings down a sledgehammer like arm directly in to the Radiant One's chest!
BC: You think this kid will want his hat back?
TT: I don't think so, Bobby. Something about it being puked in might make the kid eerie.
BC: But it was puked in by a SUPERSTAR! This could sell on e-bay for three hundred bucks easy!
TT: And with that statement, the world now know's what you will do, Bobby.
Magnus brings down another tree trunk like strike to the chest of Roland. Roland struggles, and he finally finds a way out of the stretch. He attempts the hip toss, but Magnus holds his ground! Roland quickly rakes the eyes forcing Magnus to stumble back! The ref admonishes the Radiant One, but he pays no attention as he delivers the boot to the gut!
TT: Roland positions Magnus for the gutwrench...and he's trying to lift the mammoth...but to no avail! The Radiant one with a double axe handle, clobbering Magnus in the back! He tries to lift him again, and again Magnus won't allow it! Roland with a second double axe handle! And he quickly brings up the knee, connecting with Magnus' jaw!
BC: His moves may not be standard, but he has brought the champ back to the mat!
TT: Roland drops to the mat...and here's the blatant choke! The ref tries pulling Roland off, but Roland won't release!
TT: And Roland finally let's go...taking full advantage of the referee's five count!
BC: The Radiant One is so smart in that ring, Teddy! And it's for that reason that we will have a new Radiant Champion here tonight!
TT: Roland brings Magnus back to his feet and drags him to the ropes. He places Magnus throat first across the top rope. And now he's using the rope to choke Magnus! And again the referee is going to start his count!
TT: And Roland releases on four! He forces Magnus in to the corner. Boot to the gut...and another...and another! Roland is stomping a hole in to Magnus here! Roland holds Magnus against the corner as he draws his right arm back...right hand...NO! Roland with the eye poke instead! Magnus stumbles out of the corner, and Roland uses the momentum for a beautiful overhead belly to belly on the champion!
BC: The Radiant One has taken full control of this match!
Roland brings the champion back to his feet once again. He forces Magnus in the corner and climbs up to the middle turnbuckle. He raises his right fist in the air, ready to unleash on the champion as the crowd starts to become Radiant!
Before Roland can land the eighth right...Magnus grips him and pulls him out of the corner in position for a powerbomb!
TT: The challenger's in trouble here!!!
BC: Don't let the Fjord Monkii do this! Counter his wagga wagga ass!
TT: Magnus has Roland in the center of the ring...wait a minute!!! Roland...I believe he is biting the champion's face!!!
BC: He's probably trying to get the taste of that herring out of his mouth! I can't blame him!
TT: Magnus drops Roland as he stumbles back...and Roland runs right in to a devastating clothesline from Magnus! The champion had great ring awareness there!
BC: The Fjord Monkii got lucky!
Magnus pulls Roland back up to his feet. He lifts Roland on to his shoulder...running powerslam! Magnus quickly pushes Roland on to his belly and sits on his back. He reaches forward and locks in a camel clutch! The ref rushes over to Roland to check on him as the Radiant One is in obvious pain!
TT: Roland could be in trouble here! A camel clutch is a devastating hold by itself! Can't imagine how it would feel with the mammoth locking it in!
BC: Come on, Roland! Don't tap out! Think about your countrymen! Think about those stupid Fjord Monkii's around the world!
TT: Think you have a little herring on your lip there, Bobby.
Bobby turns pale as he faces away from the announce table, once again puking.
TT: Can we get a bucket out here for Bobby? He's going to need it!
BC: Shut up!
Bobby continues to puke as Roland struggles to pull himself to all fours. He crawls towards the ropes...inching closer...and Magnus leaps up and drops all of his weight on to Roland's back! He drags Roland back to the center of the ring, and once again locks in the camel clutch!
TT: Magnus has just brought the pace of this match to a screeching hault! Our official is checking on Roland again...but again Roland is trying to inch his way to the ropes!
Magnus gets off of Roland before he can make it to the ropes. He pulls Roland back to his feet and lifts him up to the shoulder. Magnus approaches the corner...snake eyes! He hits the far ropes as Roland stumbles back! Roland turns around...and he's met with a boot to the jaw! Magnus makes the cover!
TT: The Radiant One got his foot on the bottom rope!
BC: How can the Swede's eat that crap?!
TT: I'm not sure...but it has become pretty obvious that you can't! Magnus pulls Roland back to his feet...no! Roland with the rake of the eyes, and Magnus stumbles back! Roland boots the champion in the gut...and he plants him with a spike DDT! The Radiant One with a stomp to Magnus' arm...and one to his leg!
TT: Roland with a stomp to Magnus' other leg...and the arm! Roland with a stomp to the chest...and he finishes with a stomp to the skull! Roland hits the ropes...and he falls forward with the point of the elbow to the skull on the rebound! Roland picks Magnus up, and he tosses him over the top rope to the outside!
Roland quickly follows. He makes his way to the steps and tears them away from the ring post. Roland tosses the steps aside. He pulls Magnus back to his feet and brings him over to the post. Roland wraps Magnus' arm around the ring post and hammerlocks it behind Magnus' back! The referee tries to get Roland to bring the action back inside as Roland uses his shoulder to attack the hammerlocked arm!
Roland finally releases the hammerlock and whips Magnus hard in to the barracade!
Roland pulls Magnus off of the barracade and slides him back in to the ring, keeping Magnus' head on the apron. Roland drives the point of his elbow in to Magnus' face once again before sliding back in to the ring.
TT: Roland has went on the offensive here again!
BC: Radiant Champion! Radiant Champion!
TT: Roland bring Magnus back to his feet, and he forces Magnus in to the corner. Roland uses his strength...and he places Magnus in a sitting position on the top rope! Roland climbs up after him...but Magnus drills him with a hard right, knocking him back to the mat! Roland comes at Magnus again...but again Magnus counters with a right!
Magnus grabs Roland with a front face lock. Magnus begins to lift Roland as he stands on the middle rope...and he drives Roland to the mat with a front suplex!!! And both men are down!
TT: Magnus with an excellent move there...but he doesn't have the energy to make the cover!
BC: I watched Roland beat Magnus Thunder in under three minutes once, Teddy!
TT: The videogame again? Seriously, Bobby...you need to get a life!
BC: Shut up!
TT: Magnus is finally begins to stir as he inches his way over to Roland! He's almost there...and he's got the...no! He's not going for the cover! Magnus slowly makes it back to his feet, and he picks up Roland. Magnus has him in position! He lifts Roland up...POWERBOMB...A SECOND...THUNDERSTOM!!!
BC: NO!!! NO!!!!
TT: And Roland rolls out to the apron! That was the opening that Magnus needed, and now it's wasted!
Roland pulls himself back to his feet using the ropes as Magnus slowly gets back up. Magnus approaches Roland who tries to deliver a right, but Magnus blocks it. Magnus counters with a right of his own...and Roland holds on to the rope with one hand as he nearly falls off the apron! He comes at Magnus with a second attempt at a right, and again it's blocked! Magnus drills him with a second right! Magnus hits the ropes as Roland struggles to hold his balance. Magnus on the return...lariat...NO!!!
TT: Roland ducked under the lariat! He grabs Magnus by the head...and he hotshots him across the top rope! Magnus stumbles back as Roland quickly slides back in to the ring. He boots Magnus in the gut...RADIANTPLEX!!!
TT: That's it!
BC: NEW RADIANT CHAMPION!!! NEW RADIANT CHAMPION!!!
Ring Announcer: Here is your winner...and the NEW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION..."THE RADIANT ONE" ROLAND ULV!!!
Roland falls to his knees, overwhelmed that he won! The referee quickly makes his way over to Roland, trying to explain that the match isn't over!
TT: I think we have some controversy here, Bobby!
BC: Damn right we do! The new champion hasn't been given his Radiant belt!
TT: It looks like the ref is waving off the pinfall as Magnus' leg was under the bottom rope!
BC: WHAT?! NO!!!
Roland stands, arguing with the ref as Magnus makes it back to his feet. Roland turns around...massive lariat!!! Magnus quickly grabs Ulv's leg...THE BRUTAL REST!!! Ulv's face instantly turns red as he is in extreme pain!
TT: The ref is checking on Roland as Magnus applies more pressure to The Brutal Rest!!!
Roland refuses to give up. Ulv swings his free leg and drills Magnus in the face! Magnus releases the hold and stumbles back. Roland makes it to his feet and rushes at Magnus...clothesline...and Magnus moves out of the way as Roland drills the ref!!!
TT: The ref is down!!!
BC: That was completely unintentional!!!
TT: Roland turns to Magnus...boot to the gut! Magnus again positions him for the powerbomb! He brings Roland up...and Roland with a rake of the eyes! Magnus drops Roland as he stumbles back...and Roland boots him in the gut...RADIANTPLEX!!!
BC: ONE!!!!! TWO!!!!! THREE!!!!! It should be over, Teddy! Roland would have easily gotten the three count!
The crowd erupts in boos as the Nitemare makes his way from the back. He walks down the aisle as Roland releases the pin. Roland sees the Nitemare coming, but like the crowd...Roland is unsure of the Nitemare's purpose.
TT: It looks like Osbourne and Roland are both eyeing the taser...and Rob quickly grabs it! He slides in to the ring, and it looks like Roland is questioning Rob's intentions here!
The ref slowly gets back up and notices the arguement. He quickly calls for the bell!
BC: What the hell just happened?!
*DING DING DING!*
Ring Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen...your winner by disqualification...and STILL WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...MAGNUS THUNDER!!!
BC: Hold on! Wait a minute! Does the referee think that Nitemare used the taser on Magnus?!
TT: I'm not sure...but the disqualification means...Roland has to retire!!!
Osbourne grabs the referee, trying to explain...trying to plead with him. Roland can't believe it. He walks over to the edge of the ring, requesting a microphone as Magnus is handed his championship. Magnus tries to stand, but he drops the belt and stumbles to the ropes.
RRU: Yuu stupid Redneck! Yuu just culdn't stay away from the ring! Yuu just had to blow it yuu *bleeping* hick! Yuu just lost yuur oldest friend!
Osbourne turns to Roland as Roland drops the microphone and picks up the Heavyweight Championship. He looks down upon the title as Osbourne again turns to the ref to plead his case. Osbourne turns to Roland...THWACK!!!
TT: MY GOD! Roland just drilled Osbourne with the championship!!! I never thought I would see that happen!
Roland drops the belt and climbs out of the ring. He walks up the aisle, looking back to the ring in disgust. Osbourne slowly pulls himself back to his feet, holding his head. He looks up the ramp at Roland.
TT: What does this mean for the Horsemen?!
Osbourne back up from the ropes and turns...only to have his throat gripped by Magnus! Magnus lifts him high in to the air...and Osbourne connects with a boot to the gut, forcing Magnus to drop him. Osbourne quickly slides out of the ring and makes his way back up the aisle, signalling to Magnus that they will meet in due time.
BC: The CWF has just became less Radiant, Teddy! It's a sad day...
TT: My God! What a way to end 2009! We are out of time folks! Thanks for joining us! Happy holidays from the CWF!
Osbourne continues up the ramp as Magnus grabs his belt and raises it high in to the air facing the Nitemare. Rob looks to the ring at Magnus, and to the top of the stage, torn on what to do...
Fade to black.