|The Showdown logo appears on the screen and pulsates in time with the drum beat of the Showdown theme and then it quickens to a greater pace, finally exploding into a thousand fragments and showing Bobby Crane and Teddy Turnbuckle at the announce table.
TT: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Conesco Field House in Indianapolis, Indiana where we are coming to you LIVE! for Showdown!!!
BC: Last weke was a debacle Turnbuckle. What can possibly happen tonight that can top last week?
TT: We'll find out with our first match as "Da Xtreme Gangsta" James Baker takes on the CWF Legend and Hall of famer, "The Ruler" Paul Blair.
BC: You mean The Drooler right?
TT: Don't start hating on Blair Crane, the fans don't like it, and neither do I.
BC: What? You're crazy. The fans love my rips on Paul Blair, like...like...Paul Blair's so old when he farts, dust comes ou! HA! I KILL ME!!
TT: Ok Alf. Very original.
BC: What's an Alf?
TT: Well, he was a little puppet alien who was on a hit NBC sitcom back when you were in your prime Bobby Crane.
BC: OH...yeah....I guess that gay show is where I got that saying huh? Geez Turnbuckle, get a life.
Ring Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is scheduled for one fall. First making his way to the ring, weighing in at two hundred and thirty-two pounds and standing six feet four inches tall hailing from Compton, California and being accompanied by his manager Malik Jones..."THE EXTREME GANGSTEEERRRRRRRRRRRR" JAMESSSSSS BAKKKKEEEEERRRRRRR
'Hail Mary' by Tupac Shakur begins and the crowd sparks up as Jones and Baker trot to the ring.
Ring Announcer: And his opponent, a former multiple time CWF Champion and a member of the CWF Hall of Fame...standing six foot five inches tall and weighing in at two hundred and seventy-five pounds hailing from River Falls, Wisconsin..."THE RULER" PAULLLLL BLAAAAIIIRRR!!!!!
'The BlairVision Theme' plays as the fans begin booing The Ruler. Blair appears at the top of the ramp in street clothes, with a mic in hand, and looks at Baker as he begins to speak.
Paul Blair: Who are you? Wait...don't answer, it was a rhetorical question. What I mean to say is, why would I, a CWF Hall of famer and multiple time CWF Champion, bother getting in the ring and putting on a clinic with you? I mean seriously, what is Osbourne thinking? The Ruler, curtain jerking two weeks in a row with greenpeas?? I don't think so. Bobby Crane says I can't win a match anymore. Maybe he's right. I ain't winiing this one. Ref, ring the bell and start the ten count, if you really feel its neccessary, or just raise the nit wits hand now, either way, I ain't getting my hands dirty with him.
BC: HA! Blair is scared to lose to Baker legit, so he's gonna take the count-out. Typical Blair.
TT: Be fair to Blair.
The jumbo screen follows Blair as the ref starts the ten count. Blair is on his way to the parking garage as the ref gets to five. As he gets to eight Blair is getting in his Mercedes. As the ref hits 10, Blair is pullling out of the arena.
TT: Well, i guess James Baker gets a 'W' against Paul Blair.
BC: Don't feel bad Baker, you still would have pounded his sorry old ass.
TT: But what does that say about the possibility of Baker being a feared man?
BC: How's that?
TT: Well, this is two weeks in a row that his opponent has walked out and refused the match. Maybe he is becoming a feared man.
BC: Why because he' black?
TT: Please, for the love of God Bobby, don't go there. MWF had to settle out of court with the NAACP after your last comments.
BC: I'm not saying, I'm just saying....maybe I seen a white sheet in Blair's locker. Who knows?
TT: Oh ......my........God. You know you're going to hell, right? i mean, like, there's no question.
BC: I'll save you a seat Turnbuckle.
TT: Well Bobby, in our next match we will see your new favorite CWF Superstar, Terry Richards, taking on Axel Way.
BC: Richards is up next?!?
TT: Indeed he is Bobby. Why? Are you nervous?
BC: Can it Turnbuckle..don't you need a drink?
TT: That was uncalled for. You think it's funny to make light of my drinking problem?
BC: Yes...Yes I do.
Ring Announcer: Ladies and gentlmen our first match is schedued for one fall. First, hailing from Chicago, Illinois weighing in at one hundred and eighty-six pounds and standing five feet and nine inches tall....."THE WINDY CITY MADMAN" TERRRRRRYYYYYYYYYY RIIIIICCCHHHHHAAAARRRRRDDDSSSSSSS!!!!!
'Ace of Spades' by Motorhead pulsates through the conesco Field House as the fans rie to their feet for the rookie sensation, Terry Richards. Richards sprints to the ring, slides under the bottom rope on his stomach and rips off his shirt and gives a primal scream to the crowd as he leaps onto the turnbuckle.
Ring Announcer: And his opponent...standing six feet and two inches tall, weighing in at two hundred and fifty-seven pounds, hailing from Des Moines, Iowa....AXEL WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Desolation row" by My Chemical romanc eplays as Axel Way makes his way onto the ramp with his right arm firmly engrossed in full gauze. The bandages from last week are still preset, but there are far less of them and the bruising around his face is lessened as has his black eye. The crowd gives him a warm response as the two men tie up befor ethe ref has a chance to call for the bell.
TT: Axel and Terry are all over each other. Richards with a hip toss, but Axel flips through landing on his feet, enziguri by Way, but Richards ducks it and backflips, then hit a spinning dragon wheel kick to Axel who lunges into the ropes chest first, Richards with a standing drop kick that send Axel over the top rope to the ground below.
BC: And Richards wasting not a minute as he baseball slides Axel as the man tried to get to his feet. He slams back down onto the protective mat below. Richards looking for something...wait...wait a minute....wait a damned minute...you get away from me...
TT: And Terry found what he was looking for and locks eyes with Beautiful Bobby Crane. Crane on his feet back peddaling, Richards with an evil grin, he hops up onto the announce table looking down at Bobby Crane. What the- Bobby Crane just soiled himself fans. Richards has really gotten into his head, but Axel from behind, schoolboy rolls up...it's not a falls count anywhere match Axel Way...and Richards kicks out as Bobby Crane takes his seat.
BC: How rude.
BC: That guy in the first row, just when Richards was about to assault me, he spilled his beer on me. Looks like I pissed meself it does.
TT: Whatever you say Bobby Crane. Whatever you say.
BC: You don't think I....do you?
TT: Whatever Bobby. we've got a match to call. Richards on his feet and he sprints towards Way and leaps to try some crazy ninja shit and Axel Way ducks and Richards is coming right at us....WATCH OUT!!!
Terry Richards crashes through the table, slicing up his back on the way down, and cracking head to head with Bobby Crane, both men going limp at the same time. Crowd starts 'Holy Shit!' chant
TT: WOW! JUST WOW!!! Axel Way dragging Terry Richards back to the ring area...pulls him up onto the apron and rolls him into the ring and then climbs the turnbuckle. Axel is gonna fly....and he nails Terry Richards's limp form with a swanton. Bobby Crane groggy, but back to his seat here next to me..bobby...Bobby...are you okay?
BC: Sonofabitch that hurt. HA! Richards is out, I'm not! Who's the man now Teddy?
TT: You are Bobby. You are. Wait a minute, what is James Baker doing out here?
Baker, visibly angry, rolls under the ring and clotheslines Axel Way, as he does the ref calls for the bell. Baker grabs a mic.
James Baker: Hell nah. This shit is gettin old as hell, real dizamned fizast. Ya feal me? I want somebody to step up and ctually face me, man to man, sac to sac.
Way, getting to his feet behind Baker, bounces off the ropes and drop kicks Baker between the shoulder blades, sending him to the mat. Terry picks up the mic and speaks.
Axel Way: You want some punk, come get some.
TT: What in the hell just happened?
BC: I don't know but the ref is raising Way's hand...let's get the official call...
Ring Announcer: Here is your winner, as a result of a disqualification, Axel Wayyyy!!!!!!!!
TT: I don't believe it. Richards doesn't believe it. The crowd doesn't believe it. And James Baker is responsible.
BC: Hmmm? I wonder if there's going to be a match at Global Warning as a result of the last two matches? This is insanity.
TT: That it is! What a show we’ve had so far and we’re only half way through the night!
BC: Don’t remind me.
TT: Yessir, and Motion is hoping his Irish Eyes will be smiling tonight as he gets a non-title shot at Sickboy.
“Angry Chair” by Alice in Chains blares through the PA as Sickboy steps out from behind the curtain with his Unified title draped over his shoulder.
BC: And now I have to put up with Wilkes? Bea-U-Ti-ful.
Ring Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is scheduled for one fall. First, making his way to the ring weighing in at two hundred and seventy pounds and standing six feet and four inches tall…from New York, New York…THIS…IS……SICKBOY!!!!!!!
Sickboy, almost to the ring now, slides under the bottom ropes and pantomimes sore fingers then laughs.
Ring Announcer: And his opponent, from Dunshaughlin, Ireland standing six feet tall and weighing in at two hundred and twenty pounds….MOTION!!!!!
“Pretender” by Foo Fighter erupts as Motion limps out from behind the curtain with a crutch under his left arm and his face badly bruised and swollen. A stage hand gives him a mic and he begins to speak.
Motion: Listen here now. I had every intention of coming down there and mashing Sickboy’s head against a blarney stone but unfortunately some Soccer Hooligans that were fans of Midleton United that were at the same match I was at last night, decided they didn’t like me wearing my Waterford United jersey so they did this to me. Too bad for you Sickboy, the doctors have not cleared me to compete tonight. In fact, they say until this broken leg bone heals, I will not be in a CWF ring. You had better watch your back though Sickboy, because when I make my return, I’ll be swinging my shillelagh for your noggin pal!
“Pretender” by Foo Fighters begins as Motion heads back the way he came.
TT: So no Motion and Sickboy tonight? I was looking forward to that one Bobby! This is a bit of a let down. Why do these guys sign contracts if they aren't going to show up?
BC: I don't know Teddy, but anytime I get out of having to watch Wilkes put his tit through the ringer, I’m happier than a pig in shit.
TT: Nice. Well, I guess that it’s time for our Main Event folks.
Ring Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is scheduled for one fall and it is a tag team match. Introducing first, the special guest referee…from Windermere, Florida. HHe is the current and reigning CWF Heavyweight Champion of the World and C.E.O. of Classic Wrestling Federation….”The Nitemare” Rob Osbourne
“Nightmare” by Crooked X plays as the champ makes his way to the ring in black shorts, a zebra striped Referee’s shirt and his hair in a ponytail, with a whistle around his neck.
Ring Announcer: And the first team, with a combined weight of four hundred and fifty-six pounds Pledge Alligence and the CWF National Champion…Mariano “Shadow” Fernandez!!
“Iron Man” by Black Sabbath begins playing as Pledge and Mariano make their way to the ring. They take opposite corners and pose for the crowd as Osbourne jogs in place in the center of the ring.
Ring Announcer: And their opponents, weighing in at a combined weight of six hundred and eighty-three pounds…representing Omega…former multiple time CWF champion T-Money and the former CWF World Heavyweight Champion Magnus
“Just like you imagined” begins but there is no sign of T-Money or Magnus Thunder. Suddenly the jump screen lights up and on the screen is seen Magnus and T-Money in shorts and Hawaiian shirts, sitting under a shaded umbrella on a beach with crystal blue water ahead of them and Hawaiian music playing in the background, sipping fruit smoothies…
T-Money: Sure was nice of the boss to fly us to Hawaii and give us the week off.
Magnus Thunder: Aye. Tis good to not have to deal with the antics of that bottom feeder Rob Osbourne. He should be getting the Shock of his life right about now.
T-Money: What a Value?
Scene fades back to the arena where a bewildered Osbourne, Pledge, and Mariano stand dumb-founded in the ring.
TT: If Magnus and T-Money are in Hawaii then who is facing Pledge and Mariano here tonight?
“Represent” by hed p.e. errupts through the arena with a rousing thunderous applause as Brian Adams, Keith Daniels, and Mark Xamin step out from behind the curtain. Xamin has a mic in hand and Osbourne and Pledge look like they
have seen a ghost.
Xamin: No need to adjust your sets at home folks, Shock Value IS IN THE HOUSE!!!
Crowd erupts with cheers and boos as some fans begin to hurl garbage in Xamin’s direction.
Xamin: I know, I know. You missed us, right? Robbie…oh Robbie…guess what? Magnus and T-Money are on the beach having a fine time. They’ll be there for a solid week. Which means….at Global Warning Mr. Osbourne, you will NOT be
defending that World Heavyweight Championship.
Osbourne grabs a mic from a ring tech and moves toward the ropes closest to the ramp.
NRO: Whoa jack! Back the fuck up. Who in the blue hell do you think you are coming down here on MY show, in MY building making changes to MY pay per view?
Xamin: Calm down there Nitemare Robbie Rob. As you can see by the documents being handed to your right now by that ring tech you will see that the stockholder of the MWF have signed off and are in accordance with all FTC bylaws, etc, etc, etc.
NRO: (looking over paperwork) What the hell is this shit all about?
Xamin: Well there Tommy Tough Guy – what that says is that the MWF shareholders disliked your methods of gaining control of MY company just as much as I did. So they have agreed in principle to a match to decide who will be the CEO. One week from today you will face a person of my choosing (glances at Brian Adams and grins) and IF you win, you can keep the CWF. If my man wins, I get control back and you go back to just being a pain in my ass.
NRO: (sarcastically) Gee, I wonder who I will be facing? Hmmmm…..
Brian Adams: Hey shitbox, you and me will dance soon enough, but it won’t be next week.
NRO: So you’re still too big of a pussy to climb in the ring man to man with me eh? So I get to kick Keith Daniels’s ass AGAIN? Please. I thought you’d at least make this interesting Xamin. I thought you’d at least try and catch me off guard. Pathetic.
Xamin: Hey Rob…it isn’t Brian and it isn’t Keith. It isn’t even that waste of life, Maniac. No, I wanted someone that has proven they can take you to task. While I hate to admit it, finding someone who has cleanly beaten you was not an easy task. But I have found my man. Let’s just say that common enemies make for interesting bedfellows…and next week, it’s you and him. Have fun!
NRO: Wait a damned minute…who the hell is i…
Just then, much to Mariano Fernandez’s surprise, Pledge Alligence cracks Osbourne in the back of the head with the world title, knocking Osbourne out cold. Pledge stands over him seething anger and hatred visible on his face. He grasps the world title with one hand looks down at Osbourne, then drops the title on his brother’s chest and rolls out of the ring as the show fades to black.