Last week at Fall Fever, the fall classic lived up to its moniker. Three new champions were crowned, a dream match between two legends exploded into reality, and the return of a wrestling icon shocked the world.
Tonight, we witness the fallout.
Highlights of the CWF World Heavyweight Championship at Fall Fever between “The Nitemare” Rob Osbourne and Pledge Allegiance. Osbourne dominating Pledge in the beginning. That Pledge being revealed as a fake by the real Pledge. The Pledgehammer over the top rope. The match going back and forth. The appearance of Paul Blair. Chemical X’s arrival. Sickboy chasing Chemical X through the ring only to blindside Pledge and reveal himself as the newest member of the Horsemen. And then, in the most shocking moment of the year, Blair revealed his surprise. Jimmy Blast. The Blaster on Osbourne. The roll up by Pledge. The championship celebration.
Cut to a live shot of the Igloo in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. The building is packed to capacity with screaming CWF fans. Fireworks explode at the entrance way and shoot up the aisle, erupting over the ring. The usual Showdown set up, though the color scheme has changed from the citrus colors of summer to blue, in honor of the nearing winter season.
Standing at ringside is Teddy Turnbuckle and, as always, “Beautiful” Bobby Crane.
TT: Welcome everyone to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania! Welcome to the fallout from Fall Fever! And yes indeed, welcome to the CWF’s Saturday Night Showdown! Good evening fans, I’m Teddy Turnbuckle, and with me as always is “Beautiful” Bobby Crane…and Bobby, what a night we experienced last week at the fall classic!
BC: You’re not kidding…three new champions crowned, only one of which we can actually be proud of! Terry Richards ripped off Axel Way thanks to Roland Ulv, and Pledge Allegiance needed Jimmy Blast to topple Rob Osbourne…but Sickboy…Sickboy did me proud.
TT: Sickboy used a handful of tights to defeat perhaps the fastest rising star in the CWF right now, Mariano Fernandez! It was shameful!
BC: Hey, win at all costs, Teddy!
TT: Well nonetheless, James Baker also defeated Angelus last week which means tonight, he will get a Unified Championship match with the new champion, Terry Richards!
BC: Yeah and Terry better be on top of his game because I saw James Baker backstage earlier this afternoon, and let me tell you, I’ve never seen him so focused. He has come to Pittsburgh for a fight and this could be a defining moment in his career.
TT: It absolutely could. Also tonight, Axel Way will seek revenge against the man who arguably cost him the Unified title last week, Roland Ulv.
BC: And Axel better have eyes in the back of his head, because The Horsemen are here in full force tonight!
TT: And you can bet Rob Osbourne is in a foul mood after losing the World Championship to Pledge Allegiance! Also tonight, in what could be one of the great matches of the entire year, Magnus Thunder battles Mariano Fernandez in what is surely to be a tale of David versus Goliath.
BC: Magnus is 7’5”, 500 pounds…little Mariano Fernandez is only 5’9”, 176 pounds…I mean Magnus Thunder’s foot weighs more than that! Let’s be honest…we’re gonna witness a massacre tonight. Magnus is bigger, stronger, and he’s got a mean streak in him that we’ve all been dying to see for years!
TT: Well I think Mariano has proven time and time again, it’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog, and Mariano will be tested BIG TIME tonight!
BC: Yeah, yeah…hope you saved room for a late night snack, Teddy…because Magnus is making pancakes tonight!
TT: Well in our main event of the evening…get ready for this one, folks…two of the most intense rivalries in wrestling spill over in one ring tonight, as the new CWF World Heavyweight Champion Pledge Allegiance teams up with Chemical X to take on…get this, “The Nitemare” Rob Osbourne and the newest member of the Horsemen, Sickboy!
BC: Yeah and here’s my question…can Pledge Allegiance and Chemical X co-exist? I don’t think so, Teddy! But Nitemare and Sickboy are running mates and tonight, the Horsemen could put the hurt on the new champion!
TT: All that and a whole lot more, folks!
BC: Yeah, we’ve got a cat fight!
TT: Danielle Lopez taking on Trixie Lee in what could turn out to be a huge match here tonight after the heated exchange between Trixie and Danielle at Fall Fever.
BC: The weather calls for sexy with a chance of wardrobe malfunctions! I love it!
TT: Oh stop it…and to kick things off, we’re expecting an appearance from the new CWF World Heavyweight Champion, Pledge Allegiance…and here he comes!
"Iron Man" booms throughout the arena and the crowd goes nuts. CWF World Champion Pledge Allegiance appears on the stage and walks to the top of the ramp. He unbuckles the CWF Championship Belt and stands there basking in the love from the adoring crowd. Red, white, and blue fireworks explode throughout the arena and as he looks up in amazement at them, Pledge has to choke back the emotion. He takes a deep breath and makes his way to the ring. With every step he takes, red, white, and blue flares erupt from the sides of the ramp, lighting up the arena.
When Pledge gets to the ring, he hops up to the ring apron from the floor and steps over the top rope. He stands in the middle of the ring and gestures for a microphone and the timekeeper tosses him one. Pledge takes another few seconds to take in the moment, he kisses the belt, then he begins to speak.
Pledge Allegiance: You know, there was a time, back in the Spring, when I had doubts that I would ever be standing here again, before you, as your CWF World Champion. This Spring, I went through what's now become Brian Adams Boot Camp. I came close twice, but I didn't fare so well. After that, I was shunted off to the side, while others like Magnus and The Nitemare had their time in the spotlight.
Shortly after that, I was inducted into The CWF Hall of Fame. The immortality and the notoriety that I strived for all of my career had finally been attained. Not that Mariano is not a fantastic talent, trust me, someday soon, he will be standing here before you with this belt...but I was relegated to participating in meaningless tag matches. I had almost resigned myself to the fact that my role in The CWF was going to be that of a bit player...a special attraction, someone who would help benefit his opponents by giving them "The Rub."
So for me, to be standing here, in front of you, with this belt, is nothing short of amazing. I sat in captivity for over a month. I promised myself that if I ever got the chance again to be at the top of this sport, to be CWF World Champion, I would not squander it. When I broke free from The Nitemare's clutches and called Trixie, she told me I needed to get back as soon as possible because not only did I have a chance at the belt, it would be against The Nitemare.
Speaking of The Nitemare. You have to give the guy credit for trying. From now on, nothing he does or says should surprise any of us. He saw that I was the most dangerous contender to his belt. He kidnaps me, replaces me, has Xamin sign the match, has Xamin declare that there will be no rematches, then he tries to eliminate the threat of Pledge Alligence by squashing his doppleganger. But...low and behold...here I come, fresh from being detained in the most disgusting, most vile conditions you could ever imagine...Here I come to ruin his grand plan. Here I come to take his belt and to lay the embarrassment on him that he has tried to make a career out of by doing it to me.
Fall Fever will forever be a classic. It will go down in the record books as the night where Pledge Allegiance and "The Nitemare" Rob Osbourne pulled out all the stops and truly did put on a wrestling clinic. Despite all the antics from The Horsemen, The Ruler, and even the reappearance of The Blaster, Jimmy Blast...YOUR American Icon overcame all the obstacles laid out before him and became The CWF World Champion for a third time! And having snatched the belt away from The Nitemare makes it that much sweeter!
So while The Nitemare is dyed into the fiber of my past, we must now look to the future. As I stand before you with this belt, I stand before you a marked man. Everyone in that dressing room wants this belt and they will stop at nothing to get it. But I'm ready. When you have this belt, you are at the top of this game and I Pledge Allegiance to you that I will not be a Magnus Thunder...I will not win this belt only to squander it away the following week. I've worked too hard for that. I will defend this belt with honor and integrity week after week. I will make the "great" reigns of Brian Adams and The Nitemare faint and distant memories. I will restore the prestige that this belt is capable of; I will be a champion you can be proud of.
Later tonight, I team with Chemical X against The Nitemare and Sickboy. Afterwards my championship defenses will begin. Buckle up...it's gonna be a bumpy ride, but it sure as Hell's gonna be a lot of fun! Thank you!
"Iron Man" plays again and Pledge goes to each of the four corners of the ring and poses with the belt by holding it over his head.
TT: Finally a champion we can be proud of! A champion who won’t take short cuts, will take on all comers…what an emotional moment for Pledge Allegiance!
BC: I think I’m gonna be sick.
TT: Well this crowd loves him and up next folks, we will kick things off with Danielle Lopez taking on Trixie Lee and and as a matter of fact, we have Danielle Lopez standing by backstage with her husband James Baker and Malik Jones right now…let’s get a camera back there!
Cut backstage where Dennis Donnelly is standing by with Danielle Lopez, James Baker, and Malik Jones.
DD: Hello everyone, I'm standing here with "Da Xtreme Gangsta" James Baker, his lovely wife Danielle Lopez, and their agent Malik Jones. Now first off, James tonight you will go one on one with Terry Richards with the CWF Unified Championship at stake. Now tell me, just how are you feeling right now?
James Baker: Well I'll admit it. I got a bit of the pre match jitters. I mean this is a big time matchup for me. As everybody knows it has been 3 long ass years since I was a champion and the last time I was a champion, I held two championships simultaneously. You see I have a feelin' deep deep down inside my soul that tonight is definitely my night to shine out there and I will become a champion for the first time in three years. I hope I can make all of the fans proud & defeat Terry Richards to win the CWF Unified Championship and I'll be a champion that all of the fans can be proud of.
DD: Now onto Danielle Lopez. Now Danielle, tonight you face Trixie Lee in a one on one match. Since you've had two matches against male wrestlers, how do you feel about going one on one with a female?
D-Lo: It doesn't matter who my opponent is ‘cause I know I will give it my all out there in the ring and put myself in the best position to win. Now Trixie thinks she's a bad ass just because her husband is the CWF World Champion, but confidence or in your case Trixie, cockiness, can only get you so far honey. So honey, get those dildo's away from yourself and prepare to being in for the fight of your life cause I damn sure am not gonna take it easy on you.
DD: Fiesty words from "Da Xtreme Latina." Now Malik, just what are your thoughts on the determination that your clients have?
MJ: Well their opponents better not take them lightly at all. James and Danielle both trained extra hard this week and with their minds completely focused right now, both Terry Richards and Trixie Lee had better not overestimate them cause one tiny little slip up and bam! Both James and Danielle will capitalize on their mistakes and win their matches just like that.
James, Danielle and Malik walk off camera and we cut back to ringside.
TT: Danielle Lopez and James Baker both look ready to go and we are set to get underway here on …
Teddy Turnbuckle's mic goes silent as he continues speaking and the lights dim as the jumbo tron comes up from black capturing the audience's attention as we see the locker room of Gary "Chemical X" Scarletti. Surrounded by his posse of “The Juggernaut” Jimmy Washington and his brother Matthew Scarletti, Gary Scarletti sits, watching an episode of the A-Team on RetroTV.
Chemical X: Yo....that's it pimps. We're getting a f***ing black van and we're gonna straight up kidnap Wilkes's new girlfriend then we're gonna f***ing murder her! Juggs, you can dress up like BA, Matt, you can be Murdoch...me...I'm mother f***ing Face up in that bitch!
As Washington and the younger Scarletti shake their heads in disbelief the door gets kicked in and three men in full black riot gear but bearing no police markings crash through the room and slam into Washington, taking the bigger man down. From behind them, dressed in black suit pants, black Italian loafers with no socks, a purple dress shirt not quite buttoned all the way up, a black suit jacket, with his long dirty blonde hair pulled into a ponytail and a pair of his trademark purple Oakley frogskin shades, walks the former CEO of the CWF and former CWF National and World Champion, leader of The Horsemen... “The Nitemare” Rob Osbourne. He steps forward as two of the three riot squad rise to his side, place cuffs on the hands and feet of the Juggernaut. The third man rises and stands next to Osbourne. The Nitemare gives a nod of his head and the man spears Matthew Scarletti to the floor and Chemical X rises to his feet and gets nose to nose with Osbourne.
Chemical X: Who the f*** do you think you are? You don't realize who it is you’re screwing with this time, do you, Osbourne? This ain't one of those punk bitches from Shock Value. I AM Shock Value you son of a....
Osbourne kicks Scarlett in in the stomach and grabs his head and shoves it under his arm, then in one fluid motion plants Scarletti's head through the glass table in the locker room. He stands up, shakes the glass off of his suit and smoothes back his hair. He looks at Scarletti, twitching on the floor, smiles, then spits on him and turns on his heel and walks out.
Cut back to ringside.
TT: Wow! Rob Osbourne isn’t spending any time sulking about losing the title last weekend…he’s too busy hunting revenge, and Chemical X is the first victim!
BC: The Nitemare is a man on a mission tonight! Oh boy, this is gonna be a long evening for a lot of people back there, Teddy!
TT: We’ll keep our eyes and ears open for more of the goings on as it relates to Mr. Osbourne, but right now let’s head to the ring for our opening bout!
Cut to the ring.
Ring Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from New York, New York! Weighing in at 125 pounds…TRIXIE LEE!
“Drama Queen” by Family Force 5 hits and Trixie Lee shoots out from behind the curtain and walks down the aisle, slapping hands with the fans in the front row. She slides under the bottom rope and into the ring, beckoning towards the curtain for Danielle Lopez to come out.
Ring Announcer: And her opponent! From San Diego, California…weighing in at 117 pounds…DANIELLE LOPEZ!
“Pardon Me” by Incubus hits and Danielle Lopez steps out and the crowd roars at the up and coming woman’s wrestler who has been breaking down barriers for the past two weeks. She points her hip out and waves mockingly at Trixie, and then walks confidently down the aisle and climbs into the ring.
TT: Trixie Lee with a slight weight advantage here…
BC: Yeah well in the female world, that’s not a good thing. Of course Danielle Lopez carries most of her 117 pounds in her ass, so y’know, it’s all subjective.
TT: Would you stop…
*DING DING DING!*
TT: Here we go…amazingly, I don’t believe we’ve done many women’s matches before…this could very well be one of the first in the CWF’s rich history!
BC: Oh shut up, it’s happened before. It must have…
They both let out primal screams and charge at each other, clashing in the center of the ring. Trixie grabs Danielle by the hair and Danielle grabs Trixie’s…they wrestle around until Danielle knees her in the gut and whips her to the ropes…Trixie on the rebound and Danielle with a monkey flip! Trixie hits the mat and lands in the center of the ring. Danielle pulls her up and has her up for a suplex….holding it, holding it…and drops!
TT: Boy, Danielle Lopez is just in a league of her own when it comes to women’s wrestling…but I guess when you’re in there against men who weigh two or three times more than you most weeks, you’re forced to adapt.
BC: Yeah you can definitely tell, Danielle wrestles more like a male wrestler and that means bad things for Trixie Lee.
TT: I don’t know about that…
Danille scoops Trixie up off the mat…Trixie with a surprise roll up for a cover!
TT: Trixie almost caught her by surprise there! And Lopez doesn’t look happy about it!
Lopez screams “bitch!” and beats Trixie to her feet…she boots Trixie in the gut…reverse neckbreaker! No! Trixie holds onto the top rope and blocks it, and Lopez crashes to the mat! Trixie grabs her by the hair and swings her around in a helicopter! Spinning, spinning, spinning…and she releases! Lopez sails across the ring and rolls into the corner. Trixie is dizzy but manages to maintain her balance and walks over to Lopez.
TT: Trixie showing some spunk here!
BC: Yeah, this is getting pretty good! Come on, take her top off, Trixie!
TT: Stop it!
Trixie pulls Lopez up and whips her to the ropes…Lopez ducks a clothesline….she bounces off the ropes, Trixie turns around…step up enzugiri! And Trixie takes a direct hit! Lopez with a cover!
TT: Wow…any other female wrestlers out there? We may have the foundation for a pretty damn good women’s division here…
BC: Come on, D-Lo! She looks like if she fell on her ass it would bounce her right back to her feet…
TT: Oh, right…THIS is why we’ve never had a women’s division before. I don’t think I could keep my sanity sitting next to Bobby Crane…
Lopez pulls Trixie to her feet…she whips her to the turnbuckle and charges in at her…Trixie gets her foot up and boots Lopez in the face…Lopez staggering back and Trixie to the second turnbuckle…double axe handle! And Lopez crumples to the mat! Trixie signaling to the top rope…she’s going for it! MUFF DIVE!
No! Lopez rolls out of the way! Trixie in a world of hurt now after a crash landing…Lopez pulls her up…LATINA CUTTER! She nailed it! A cover!
TT: Hey wait a minute! Trixie’s foot is under the bottom rope!
*DING DING DING!*
Ring Announcer: Here is your winner…DANIELLE LOPEZ!
TT: Lopez has won the match but Trixie Lee’s foot was clearly under the bottom rope and the referee missed it!
BC: What is it with referees these days? You know we have a health plan here in the CWF, you can get your eyes examined…
The crowd roars in appreciation of the solid performance by both ladies, and the referee raises Lopez’s hand in victory. Suddenly, the crowd stands and explodes as Pledge Allegiance appears from behind the curtain and races down to ringside, pointing at Trixie’s foot under the bottom rope. The referee signals that he didn’t see it and Pledge shakes his head and immediately helps Trixie to her feet. Trixie shakes out the cobwebs and can’t believe the match is over. Lopez waves at her from across the ring as “Pardon Me” by Incubus starts playing in the background. Trixie’s eyes widen and a look of fury crosses her face…she pushes Pledge aside and charges at Lopez!
BC: Yes! Yes! Rip those clothes off!
TT: Trixie Lee isn’t finished with Lopez yet! Lopez and Trixie want back at each other!
Both women roll around the ring trying to claw each other’s eyes out. James Baker races down the aisle to a huge pop and he looks at Pledge. They exchange glances and simultaneously begin trying to pull the two women apart. Pledge gets Trixie off of Lopez but she goes kicking and screaming. Baker manages to calm Lopez down and backs her into her corner, blocking her path to Trixie. Suddenly, both women shove their respective men aside and charge at each other again! The crowd roars!
TT: My God! Pledge and Baker can’t contain these two! They want at each other bad and here come the officials!
BC: I love it!
As Pledge and Baker once again try to separate the two women, CWF officials swarm the ring and keep them apart this time. Lopez gets on the second rope and raises her hands in victory for the crowd, which incites Trixie Lee to try to get at her again. Pledge and the officials manage to keep her in her corner this time.
TT: Well I’ve got a feeling this rivalry is only just beginning between Trixie Lee and Danielle Lopez…Trixie looks like she’s ready to tear her head off and really, while Lopez won the match, Trixie’s foot was very clearly under the bottom rope so the pinfall never should have counted…
BC: Excuses, excuses. Lopez beat her, plain and simple but you’re right, we definitely haven’t seen the last of this rivalry.
The officials manage to force Trixie Lee out of the ring, and she gets separated from Pledge. They order her up the aisle and she grudgingly turns and heads back up to the curtain. Suddenly…
TT: Oh no…
BC: Oh geez…this is gonna be bad…
Trixie turns back to look at the ring, still flooded with officials. Pledge’s face turns pale as he sees what’s coming. Trixie backs into… “The Nitemare” Rob Osbourne. Pledge has no time to react as Osbourne spins Trixie around. The look of horror on her face lasts only a split second before Nitemare grabs her head, tucks it under his arm, and in one fluid motion drops her with a Badd Dream on the concrete floor!
TT: OH MY GOD!
BC: Holy sh…
TT: ROB OSBOURNE HAS SUNK TO A NEW LOW! HE JUST BADD DREAMED TRIXIE LEE ON THE CONCRETE FLOOR! MY GOD THAT IS HEINOUS!
BC: Wow uh…I don’t know what to say to that…but they better get a doctor out here quick.
Pledge bolts from the ring. The Nitemare grabs the camera and pulls it in close to his face.
NRO: YOU DID THIS! YOU did it Pledge! YOU!
As Pledge Allegiance charges towards Trixie at the top of the aisle, Roland Ulv shoots out from the side of the stage, blindsiding Pledge with a steel chair! He cracks Pledge in the forehead and Pledge is laid out.
TT: Good Lord…God help the CWF, the Horsemen are running rampant and Pledge Allegiance and poor Trixie Lee have paid the price here…
BC: That was just harsh…
TT: Well we need to take a commercial break here folks…we’ll be back and…these two need some medical attention.
TT: We are back from commercial break and there’s good news on the arena floor here…Pledge is back up and is clearly distraught, but the good news is Trixie Lee is going to be fine, fans…Trixie is going to be fine but they are taking every precaution and that’s why you’ll see here in a neck brace here…
Pledge, livid over the events that had just transpired before our commercial break, decides to leave Tirixe, who will be in a neckbrace, but otherwise okay, with the medics, as he takes off in pursuit of Osbourne. Rounding a corner in a back hallway, visibly angry and with a determined look in his eye, Pledge rounds a corner only to slam into his tag team partner later that evening, Chemical X, with the same intent look on his face, a bandage of his own across his forehead with steam flaring out of his nostrils.
Pledge: Let me guess.....
Chemical X: I'm gonna f***ing kill that bastard brother of yours...
Pledge: I never thought I'd agree with YOU, but I agree with...well, you know, you.
Chemical X: Whatever. Let's find that punk.
Chemical X and Pledge take off at a dead sprint in the only direction they hadn't both traversed and come to a skidding halt in front of a locker room door with a Horseshoe symbol with a diamond in the center. Pledge kicks the door in and Scarletti races in wildly. Pledge comes in behind him astonished to see an otherwise empty rom. Save for the lone television monitor and two director's chairs, a bag of popcorn and two soda pops. As Pledge looks at Chemical X the screen on the monitor flickers and the Nitemare's face fills the screen.
NRO: Pledge, Gary, please, have a seat. Enjoy the popcorn and pespi....
Terry Richards: It's COKE ...NOT PEPSI!
NRO: Right, right. Coke. Geez Terry, switch to caffeine free already. As I was saying. Be my guest, and enjoy the show that you two will be the director's of...as you two caused this. You wanted this to happen. Now you have to deal with it.
The scene fades from Osbourne to a replay of the events from earlier, then to a split screen. On one side of the screen is Matthew Scarletti on a gurney and the other side is Trixie Lee on a gurney. Suddenly Osbourne walks into the scene on both sides.
NRO: Hmm, you two could take off running right now and save one of your loved ones, but then you have to ask yourself, which hallway am I in? I can't be in both of them...can I? So which shot is live and which one is memorex?
Both men turn out of the room and sprint down the hallway, when they reach the intersection, they split up. Each slides to a stop in front of the gurneys...which are empty. Back in the other room with the monitor Osbourne’s face is seen cracking up laughing. The scene in the arena jumbo tron is a split screen of the men at the spot their loved ones should be and that of Osbourne.
NRO: Oh boys, I didn't get the chance to tell you before you ran away that maybe they might both be memorex? Hmm....
The scene widens out to show Osbourne outside of the arena with Matthew and Trixie tied together back to back and gag in mouths being sat down in a row boat on the bank of the river's crest alongside the arena's outer walls. Osbourne kicks the end of the boat and it drifts off into the river as The Horsemen laugh out loud and head back into the arena.
TT: My God! Rob Osbourne is going too far tonight! Way too far!
BC: Yeah this is just…even for me this is too much. Trixie’s never done anything to him. I mean, obviously he’s messing with Pledge, but there are other ways to do it.
TT: Not to mention Matthew Scarletti, though with the crowd he runs with I doubt anyone is going to sympathize with him…
BC: Well, think of it this way…if anyone is gonna get out of a situation like that, it’s gonna be a Scarletti...
TT: That may be true. In any event folks…despite the gravity of this situation, the show does need to go on and…wait a minute, what’s this?
“Ace of Spades” by Motorhead plays as Terry Richards walks into the ring, with a chorus of boos behind. He’s dressed in a full black tuxedo suit, and has the Unified Title wrapped around his shoulder. He opens a steel chair and sits in the middle of the ring. A terrified stagehand timidly hands him a mic. A single spotlight illuminates him as he addresses the crowd.
BC: What is this, Horsemen night? Get this clown out of the ring.
Terry Richards: The last time you all saw my gorgeous self on TV, things were harsh for everyone else, weren’t they? So, let’s summarize… First, I destroy the Michael Jackson rip-off, a sick dumbass that goes by the name of “Genocide”, and Richie Moncrief…I don’t really need to make any jokes about him, his name is enough. Later on, I show everyone what I’m capable of by again slaughtering Abe Simpson…oh, I mean Bobby Crane… and then I beat the veteran, the one everybody loves, the maniac Sickboy, putting another “W” on my little record, by his words. And I even had some time to go down to ringside at the Main Event, watch Roland Ulv smashing my little Christy into Mariano’s head, help him make a good return, and I join the legendary faction of The Horsemen. Next night, I defeat Axel “Baseball” Way… what all you all staring at? Oh, I get it… you’re still into the “dirty win” thing?
Terry smirks and shakes his head in disbelief. He proceeds with a terribly annoying childish tone.
Terry Richards: Ooh, the little babies! Ooh, your baseball is nowhere to be found! Poor, poor babies! Calm down, cute little babies with those cute little feet! I’ve got pacifiers for everyone!
The crowd showers Terry with enraged boos, and some people start a “You suck dick” chant. Terry pretends he isn’t hearing well, and then scornfully laughs.
Terry Richards: Hey, fatties… I guess you’re wrong. I had a girlfriend, until she was killed.
The crowd falls into silence. Some people in the front row start a “She deserved it” chant.
Terry Richards: Oh, sorry… I didn’t give you the pacifiers, did I? Now, as I was saying, I defeated Axel Way in order to win what I rightfully deserved since I came to this planet. I got the Unified Championship. This means I’m advancing to a whole new era, the era where Terry Richards proudly lifts gold high above his head. With the help of Roland Ulv, the pickled herring beast, and Rob Osbourne, the beast… no one will be able to stop me now. Try as it might, The Horsemen will be sitting on the top of the mountain for a long, long time. But still, after all this time, there are still some things haunting me. The first thing I did after my debut was getting stuck in a talk-show, with none other than Bobby Crane. I have shown to the world his “weak” side. He was wandering around, with no apparent memory of the incident…until he starts with the insults. And I got mad with them…so I leaped over the ropes and exterminated Bobby Crane. This went on for weeks, and weeks, and weeks… and I’m getting tired of it. Bobby has pissed his pants in fear, got owned, and got a picture of his in Fail Blog… “Bravery Fail,” wasn’t it? But now, Bobby, I want everything to end. Come on into this ring.
TT: You don’t have to…
BC: Shut it. I’m gonna take care of this punk ass once and for all.
The normal arena lights go back on. Bobby Crane takes his headset off, grabs a mic and enters the ring, furious.
Bobby Crane: What are you doing here, Richards? You’ve got to defend that unfairly won title against James Baker soon, hurry the damn hell up.
Terry Richards: (calm) Robert, settle down.
Bobby Crane: What the… Robert? Listen, you’re wasting valuable TV time where these people can all please their fragile ears with my angelical voice. So get your legs working and go backstage, will ya?
Terry Richards: Listen, I’m here to make you a proposal. We’ve been fighting for too long without rules…So I guess a good ol’ wrestling match would do the trick. If I win, you will never, I repeat, NEVER insult me again. If you win, you can make me your own laughing stock. What do you say?
Bobby Crane: Listen, kid…you’re looking at a former ECWA World Champion. You’re looking at a man who wrestled the legendary “Hotshot” Mike Stewart to a time limit draw. You’re looking at a man who’s gone toe to toe with Paul Blair, and more importantly, you’re looking at a CWF Hall of Famer. On top of that, I’m much too good looking to be in any kind of wrestling match with someone who is far too ugly to be on television. So no, you little whelp…you’re not worthy of wrestling someone of my caliber.
Terry Richards: Fine. So, what about we do that in another sport? Boxing?
Bobby Crane: Too wimpy.
Terry Richards: Football?
Bobby Crane: Too boring.
Terry Richards: Hockey?
Bobby Crane: I’d make Sidney Crosby look too bad.
The Pittsburgh crowd boos.
Terry Richards: Being an utter asshole? Oh, wait…I’m trying to win here.
Bobby Crane: That’s funny. Oh wait…no it isn’t.
Terry Richards: MMA?
Bobby Crane: You know what, FINE! Just shut up! For God’s sake, stop talking!
Terry Richards: Mixed Martial Arts? Are you sure, Robert?
Bobby Crane: Whatever, as long as you shut your gingivitis ridden mouth! Just shut up!
Terry Richards: Well, it's a great choice for you. Five minute rounds, a chance for you to rest during one minute, gloves, no boots allowed… nice choice.
Bobby Crane: Fine, whatever…I’ll be happy to shut you up myself…but Terry? Just remember one thing…
Terry Richards: And what’s that?
Bobby Crane: Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful…hate me because I’m better than you!
Terry Richards: Alzheimer is a really harsh problem, isn’t it? Well then…let’s get ready for our match.
Terry rips his tuxedo suit off to reveal his MMA Shorts. He takes his polished black shoes off as well. A stagehand hands him grappling gloves, as well as to Bobby Crane, who is still getting ready.
Terry Richards: Robert… you sure you want to do this?
Terry Richards: Well then… let’s get going.
Terry grabs the steel chair and throws it away, as well as the mic.
*DING DING DING*
TT: This is absolutely ludicrous and for once, Bobby…you’ve got my support.
As the fight starts, Bobby Crane goes for the attack on Terry, but the lights suddenly go out. As the lights return, “The Nitemare” Rob Osbourne and “Radiant” Roland Ulv are standing at the entrance ramp. Bobby Crane starts yelling at them, confused, and Terry delivers a swift kick to the side of his head. Crane falls to the ground, the referee checks him and raises Terry’s hand in victory.
TT: Give me a break!
Ring Announcer: The winner of the fight, twelve seconds into round one, by way of knockout…TERRRYYYY RIICCHARRDSSSS!
Rob Osbourne and Roland Ulv enthusiastically clap Terry’s victory. He exits the ring with a cocky smile on his face and leaves the stage along with Rob and Ulv.
TT: This is just an absolute disgrace…are there any more Horsemen hiding under a rock somewhere? Someone needs to regulate these guys. Osbourne lost the title at Fall Fever and they are taking it out on everybody! Folks…we’re gonna have to take a commercial break to get reorganized here…don’t go anywhere.
TT: Welcome back to CWF Saturday Night Showdown, fans…brought to you by Mywrestlingforum.com and Spidersitebuilder.com, the world’s easiest and most powerful website builder. We are live from the Igloo in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania and this show has been nothing short of chaotic…and we’ve only made it through one match so far! As Bobby Crane gets medical attention in the back, we have the CWF Unified Championship match up next as the new Unified Champion, Terry Richards, defends against James Baker in a match that has a lot of people talking…the up and coming stars of the CWF have been generating a lot of buzz, especially Mariano Fernandez and Terry Richards…but the dark horse in all of this has been James Baker who has been rising steadily up the ranks as well…this should be a good one. Let’s head to the ring!
Cut to the ring.
Ring Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and is for the CWF Unified Championship!
The crowd roars.
Ring Announcer: Introducing first, the challenger…from Compton, California….weighing in at 232 pounds… “DA EXTREME GANGSTA” JAMES BAKER!
The crowd roars as “Hail Mary” by 2Pac hits and James Baker comes out from the back. He slaps hands with fans along the way down the aisle and steps through the ropes into the ring.
TT: We could be looking at our new Unified Champion right there!
Ring Announcer: And his opponent…from Chicago, Illinois…weighing in at 186 pounds…being led to the ring by “The Radiant One” Roland Ulv and “The Nitemare” Rob Osbourne…
Ring Announcer: The reigning and defending CWF Unified Champion…TERRY RICHARDS!
“Drop the Bombshell” by Powerman 5000 hits and Terry Richards steps out from behind the curtain, the CWF Unified Championship draped across his shoulders. He soaks in the hatred of the crowd and then holds out his arms. Rob Osbourne and Roland Ulv emerge from behind the curtain to more boos, and the three walk down the aisle. Richards climbs into the ring and Osbourne and Roland sit down at the announce booth with Teddy Turnbuckle.
TT: What is the meaning of this?!
NRO: What’s the matter, T-Dawg? We just thought since Bobby Crane had to go home sick from school, we’d give you a little help.
RRU: Ja, fur sure! Thii Horsemen are here tuu help yuu!
TT: Well…uh. Anyway, this should be a hell of a match here…
NRO: Yes, hell of a match! (mocking Teddy) It’s gonna be a real barnburner, a big dust up, a hullaballoo!
TT: …let’s just get this started.
*DING DING DING!*
James Baker and Terry Richards circle each other. Baker looks out at Osbourne and Ulv nervously.
NRO: I don’t know what he’s looking at, we’re not gonna hurt him.
RRU: Ja, wii won’t hurt miister hiippitii hop fur sure!
TT: Well I’m sure a lot of people out there can empathize with him…
They lock up…Baker with a knee to the gut and he whips Richards to the ropes…hip toss! And Richards hits the mat and bounces right back to his feet…Baker with another hip toss! Richards up again…and another hip toss! Baker frustrating Richards and Richards kicks the ropes in frustration!
TT: Baker showing up the champion early!
NRO: What did you just say? You shut your mouth, Turnbuckle…
Nitemare slaps the microphone off Teddy’s head.
NRO: We’ll take it from here.
They lock up again…no, Richards with a thumb to the eye and Baker is temporarily blinded! Richards off the ropes…spinning heel kick! Baker goes down and Richards pulls him right back up…whips him to the ropes…Richards off the opposite ropes…twists through the air…forearm shot to the face!
NRO: OH! BY GAWD! BY GAWD! WHAT A MOVE BY THE CHAMPION!
RRU: JA! BAH GAWD FUR SURE!
The camera zooms in on Teddy Turnbuckle, rolling his eyes as he listens on.
Richards pulls Baker up and whips him to the turnbuckle…Baker comes out on the rebound…Richards rocks him with a clothesline! Richards with a cover!
NRO: Was that a slow motion replay? Because that referee was counting pretty slow there, but then again that shouldn’t surprise any of us here or any of you halfwit assholes out there in tv land, because the CWF is out to screw over the Horsemen.
RRU: JA! En , två , tre! Count thii numbers referii boy!
NRO: Or just one, two, three…but that works too, I say.
RRU: Fur sure!
Richards screams at the ref to count faster and pulls Baker up…Baker with a shot to the gut! And another! And another! And now Baker whips Richards to the ropes…Lou Thesz press! And Baker unloading on the Unified Champion! Baker now pulls Richards up…PILEDRIVER! He nails it and makes a cover!
NRO: OH! THE CHAMP’S GOT HEART! THE CHAMP’S GOT HEART!
RRU: Miister hippitii hoppitii can’t biit thii champ, fur sure!
Baker pulls Richards to his feet and whips him to the corner…he sits him on the top rope and hooks him in for a superplex! He has him up! No! Richards twists away in mid air! Both men falling to the mat but Richards twists and turns it into a CUTTER!
NRO: WOW! WHAT A MOVE! And Gangster Boy’s in trouble now!
Richards with a cover.
NO! Shoulder up!
NRO: Oh COME ON, referee…that was a three count if I’ve ever seen one!
RRU: Fur sure, thiis ref must bii from Norway.
Richards again screams at the official to count faster. He pulls Baker up and whips him to the ropes…Baker ducks a clothesline….Richards drops to his back and lifts up his feet….monkey flip! No! Baker lands on his feet…Richards sits up…Baker with a knee to the head! Richards goes down and Baker now a house of fire! He pulls Richards to his feet…body slam! Pulls him back up…whips him to the ropes…powerslam! Baker going wild here…
NRO: STOP THAT PUNK! HE HAD A HANDFUL OF HAIR!
RRU: Hii is a chiiter! Ja!
Baker pulls him up…DA XTREME KNOCKOUT! HE NAILS IT!
Roland Ulv quickly jumps up from the booth and stands on the apron, distracting the referee. Baker has a cover and a clear ten count if he wanted one but the referee is distracted by Roland Ulv and Sickboy races down the aisle! Sickboy from behind Baker and he NAILS him with the National Championship belt in the back of the head! Sickboy drapes Richards on top of Baker and sprints back up the aisle! Ulv jumps down off the mat and the ref makes the count!
*DING DING DING!*
Ring Announcer: Here is your winner…and STILL CWF Unified Champion….TERRY RICHARDS!
NRO: WHAT A MATCH! WHAT A MATCH! AND WHAT A CHAMPION! BAH GAWD! HE DID IT!
Nitemare throws his headset to the ground and he joins Roland Ulv and Richards in the ring to celebrate. They carry Richards on his shoulders like he just won an Olympic gold medal and the crowd litters the ring with garbage. Teddy Turnbuckle puts his headset back on.
TT: Well the Horsemen strike again and it’s starting to sound like a broken record around here…Terry Richards retains the Unified Championship with help from his stable mates and you’ve gotta believe James Baker will get a rematch down the road after a crime like that! Nonetheless fans, we are going to take a quick commercial break and when we come back, Roland Ulv locks up with Axel Way! Don’t go anywhere!
TT: Welcome back fans and Bobby Crane has rejoined us here at the booth…how ya doing, Bobby?
The camera zooms in on Bobby Crane, holding an ice pack against the side of his head.
BC: I’m fine, my wounds will heal…but Terry Richards, you’ll be ugly forever.
TT: Well it was a cheap shot by Richards and while you were in the back he picked up a cheap victory as well, just like at Fall Fever…these are the things we can come to expect from the Horsemen.
BC: Yeah well, I think there’s a whole group of guys in the back that have a new respect for Maniac, because he took these guys on by himself back in the MWWF, and they were an even stronger force back then. Someone is gonna have to stand up to them the way Maniac did, or they are gonna run rough shod over this entire promotion. Someone has to rally the troops, someone has to take a stand, because if nobody does, this could get completely out of control. You hear me back there? Somebody do something about this!
TT: Well speaking of the original Horsemen of the MWWF years, Roland Ulv is in action next…and he is standing by backstage.
We cut to the backstage area where we find “The Radiant One” Roland Ulv in front of a back drop with the CWF logo. The Radiant One is looking spectacular flexing his muscles staring deep into the camera with his piercing baby blue eyes.
RRU: Moments away now... Axel Way... fur sure... Yuu will get a radiant wrestling of a lifetime... Yuu will bii suplexed in ways yuu never hav biin suplexed... I will tie yuu up in combinations never siin on american television fur sure... And biicause I am such a nice guy I won't iiven make yuu pay for this lesson...
He lifts up his hands.
RRU: No, no, yuu don't have tuu thank mii... All I wan't yuu tu do is tuu focus... Stay focused for all of thii match... Make sure yuu tape thii match so yuu can study this match real well.... Try and try again tu figure out how all thii moves were made!
The Radiant One smacks his left fist into his palm.
RRU: This is going tu bii Radiant.. RADIANT... RADIANT FUR SURE!
Cut back to ringside.
TT: Well a confident Roland Ulv….
BC: Yeah and look, let’s give the devil his due here. Roland Ulv is awesome. I’m glad he’s here in the CWF and if not for Terry Richards I might even support this Horsemen faction…but when they take cheap shots at Bobby Crane, who could have been one of their biggest supporters…well they’re simply grasping at straws, trying to be what they once were. I’m sure Roland is gonna come out here tonight and give Axel Way a wrestling lesson…and I can’t help but like Roland, but the people he’s running with…it’s just unfortunate.
TT: Well…before we get to that match, we’ve got something going on outside…let’s head back there…
We cut to a shot of outside the arena, where Trixie Lee and Marcus Scarletti are stranded on a row boat, tied up and floating along the river just outside the Igloo. Suddenly, a speed boat pulls up to them. Far in the distance, we can’t make out who is pulling them out of the rowboat and up into safety, but we can make out the lettering on the side of the boat. It reads “Ruler Rescue.”
BC: HA! It’s Paul Blair!
TT : That’s gotta be Blair!
Cut to a shot of Pledge Allegiance and Chemical X standing on the shore. X has his cell phone pressed to his ear.
Chemical X: Yeah I see you…nice work, jobber. I’ll have your cheque in the mail tomorrow morning.
He flips the phone shut.
Chemical X: He got them.
Pledge Allegiance: Good.
Chemical X: He’s gonna take them back to the hotel where they’ll be safe.
Pledge Allegiance: …can I trust him with Trixie?
Chemical X: Pledge, c’mon…it’s Blair. He couldn’t get it up without popping so many Viagra his heart would explode…
Pledge Allegiance: (grinning) I guess you’re right. Now let’s take care of these assholes.
They storm back into the arena.
Cut to a shot of the Horsemen locker room, where Rob Osbourne is throwing a fit.
NRO: GOD DAMNIT! THAT’S TWICE BLAIR HAS SCREWED WITH ME!
He throws a steel chair across the room, and it bangs loudly against the door before clanking to the ground. Just as it hits, Roland Ulv walks into the room. Sickboy and Terry Richards exchange a glance with him. Roland turns to Nitemare.
NRO: DID YOU SEE THAT?!
Roland Ulv: I saw iit fur suure, ja.
NRO: Well that’s f***in’ it, I’m gonna take care of Blair myself. That little jobber has been a pain in my ass for too long now…time to finally bury the old fossil.
Roland Ulv: Thaat wuud bee a miistake fur sure…Roland wiil deel with this Miister Blaiir, ja…Roland will embarrass him fur sure at thii Halloween Extreme, and iit will bee radiant, radiant, RADIANT FUR SURE!
Osbourne grits his teeth and nods at Roland.
NRO: F***in’ right. I like that plan.
Roland Ulv: Ja, now I must tiich thiis Axel “Baseball” Way a wrestling lesson fur sure!
Osbourne nods, and Rolands turns and heads to the gorilla position.
Cut back to ringside.
TT: Wow, so Roland Ulv has laid down the challenge for Paul Blair! What a matchup that would be!
BC: That would be awesome! And it would most definitely be fair to Blair! Maybe Blair can be the one to step up and take on the Horsemen!
TT: Well time will tell, but for now let’s head to the ring!
Cut to the ring.
Ring Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first…from Des Moines, Iowa…weighing in at 257 pounds…AXEL WAY!
“Desolation Row” by My Chemical Romance hits and Axel Way steps out to a decent pop from the crowd. He storms down to the ring, steps through the ropes, and immediately starts yelling at the curtain for Roland Ulv to come out.
TT: Axel Way is out for revenge tonight…it was Roland Ulv who came to ringside at Fall Fever last week, and took a cheap shot at Axel outside the ring. Everything was going Axel’s way until that point, and then Terry Richards took advantage. Not only that, Axel’s foot was on the rope when the pinfall was made until Roland shoved it off…so needless to say, that is one pissed off former Unified Champion in the ring right now.
BC: He looks like an angry bull but he’s got a big problem about to walk through that curtain in a second.
Ring Announcer: And his opponent….from Stolkholm, Sweden….weighing in at 275 pounds… “THE RADIANT ONE” ROLAND ULV!
“Marcia Carolus Rex” by Wilhelm Harteveld hits and the crowd boos wildly as “The Radiant One” Roland Ulv emerges from behind the curtain. Clad in his ring attire – a blue singlet with a yellow cross – he carries a bucket of fermented pickled herring on his hand and flexes for fans along the way to the ring. As he walks, he leaves a trail of fans behind him plugging their noses and waving their hands in front of their face at the stench of the fishy Swedish delicacy. He leaves the bucket in his corner and climbs into the ring.
*DING DING DING!*
TT: Well here we go, and Axel absolutely can’t wait to get his hands on Roland…
BC: Yeah well he better pace himself or he might have a heart attack…Axel looks completely out of shape.
TT: Don’t start…
Axel immediately charges at Roland…Roland ducks a wild right hand and trips Axel up with a double leg take down. Roland taking charge on the mat and clamps on an arm lock. Axel Way searching for a way out…he twists and reverses it, but Roland gets to his feet and reverses it once more. He wrenches up on the hold and Axel hops up in pain and then rolls to the mat, forcing Roland off of him.
Both men to their feet now and Axel charges at Roland again…this time Roland ducks another clothesline and catches Axel from behind…he cinches one arm behind Axel’s back and the other across his face and drops back to the mat…cross face chickenwing! The submission hold is applied!
Roland Ulv: Giive up fur sure! Tap out miister baseball! Ja!
TT: Roland doing what he promised, giving Axel Way a wrestling lesson and how on earth does Axel combat this?
BC: Axel might be wise to just tap out and live to fight another day, Teddy…Roland is in another league tonight…
Just as Axel is ready to tap, Roland releases the hold and flexes for the crowd.
TT: I can’t agree with this, Roland had him beat and now he’s just pandering to the audience here…
BC: That’s not how he wanted to finish him! Look!
Roland pulls Axel up to his feet and hooks him in…
Roland Ulv: Iit’s Radiant time fur sure!
He lifts him up…RADIANT PLEX! A cover!
TT: There it is! The Radiant Plex and it’s lights out for Axel!
*DING DING DING!*
Ring Announcer: Here is your winner… “THE RADIANT ONE” ROLAND ULV!
TT: What an impressive victory as Roland Ulv continues to get better each week, shaking off the ring rust and that could spell big trouble for anyone opposing the Horsemen…
BC: Well we know Roland Ulv is a world class wrestling and like I said earlier, it’s tough not to like this guy just a little bit, no matter how much you hate him…
Roland Ulv grabs his bucket of fermented pickled herring and walks up to the camera.
Roland Ulv: Paul Blairski, thiis is for yuu, fur sure! Eet fiish Miister Ruuler! Ja!
Ulv dumps the pickled herring all over the fallen Axel Way, who dry heaves as the stench over takes him. Roland flexes for the crowd and heads to the back.
TT: Well Axel Way gets a little taste of Sweden, but will Paul Blair except the challenge? Blair is expected to return to the ring next week, from what I’m told, and you can bet we’ll hear from him if he’s in attendance!
BC: Yeah and the fact that we’re in Wisconsin next week probably helps too.
TT: Indeed, we’ll be coming to you live from the Kohl Center in Madison, Wisconsin and that’s not far from Blair’s hometown of River Falls, so he could get a hero’s welcome.
BC: Hope you like cheese, Teddy. I personally can’t stand it. And the Packers suck. Only an idiot could root for a team that would let Bret Favre walk away…then again, watch a Packers game…only an idiot would wear a block of cheese on his head and be proud of it…well, Wisconsin is a state FULL of cheeseheads and they better be proud of Blair because he’s the only good thing to come out of that god forsaken state.
TT: You have a lot of pent up rage inside of you, huh?
BC: Shut up.
TT: Well folks, before our next match up which could very well be one of the best matches of the year as Magnus Thunder clashes with up and coming Mariano Fernandez…I understand Mark Xamin is standing by with an announcement. Mark?
Mark Xamin appears on the big screen, sitting in his office backstage in an orange dress shirt with a matching black and orange tie.
Mark Xamin: Thank you, Teddy. As you know, the CWF has a worldwide audience, stretching across North and South America and overseas. I am pleased to announce that beginning the week after Night of Champions III: The Halloween Extreme on Halloween night, the CWF will begin a world tour! We will be broadcasting Showdown from all over the globe, including stops in Argentina, the UK, Sweden, Japan, and the land down under, Australia. The tour will culminate in Melbourne, Australia with our November pay-per-view spectacular, Battle to Survive, from the majestic outdoor Etihad Stadium on November 28 where we expect to seat some 70,000 fans!
TT: That is huge!
Mark Xamin: Get your passports ready, because the CWF is going global!
Xamin disappears from the big screen.
BC: God…get ready for jet lag and bad food. We’re going to Russia? Seriously? Have we EVER gone to Sweden? What are we gonna eat? Fermented pickled herring? Then we’re going to the UK, the birthplace of gingivitis….ohh Japan, hope you like raw fish and anime, Teddy. Australia…woopty doo, we can feast on kangaroos and crocodiles, mate…this sucks.
TT: You need help. Seriously help. This is going to be the trip of a lifetime!
BC Whatever, Teddy.
TT: Well up next folks, it could be a match for the ages as Magnus Thunder, fresh off a victory over Roland Ulv at Fall Fever, takes on the fastest rising star in the company, Mariano Fernandez!
BC: Yeah well Mariano got showed up by Sickboy at Fall Fever, and tonight he’s up against the CWF’s giant, Magnus Thunder, who has developed a nasty mean streak as of late…gotta tell you, I don’t like the little suck up’s chances.
TT: Well when you’re Mariano’s size, you’re always the underdog, but these fans have taken a liking to him and he was the CWF National Champion, nothing to sneeze at, defeating the legendary Maniac to win that title!
BC: Yeah, I was there, you don’t have to remind me. But he’s never faced anyone like Magnus Thunder before. Magnus is a gargantuan. Mariano’s offence will barely even tickle the big man.
TT: Well, we’re about to find out if that’s true…let’s head to the ring!
Cut to the ring.
Ring Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Buenos Aires, Argentina…weighing in at 176 pounds….MARIANO FERNANDEZ!
The crowd explodes as “The Biggest Fight” by Hironobu Kageyama hits and Mariano Fernandez runs out from behind the curtain. He races down the aisle, his arms outstretched as his slaps hands with the crowd along the way, and slides under the bottom rope and into the ring.
BC: You can’t truly appreciate how small this little insect is now…wait until Magnus Thunder comes out here. Mariano is gonna look like a mini wrestler in a minute.
Ring Announcer: And his opponent! From Jotunheim, Norway…weighing in at 500 pounds…MAGNUS THUNDER!
“Serenata Immortale” by Immediate Music hits and the thunder rolls in. Magnus Thunder towers through the curtain to a huge pop, and raises Stormhammer high above his head with authority, a lightning bolt screeching down and exploding at the entrance way in an array of pyrotechnics. Magnus stalks down to ringside, staring down Mariano Fernandez the entire way. Mariano’s eyes widen as he soaks in the pure size of the Nordic giant. Magnus steps over the top rope and into the ring.
BC: Hope you brought your syrup, Teddy, because it’s pancake time.
TT: You could be right…Magnus just towers over Mariano…Mariano could literally be living in the shadow of the big man for the duration of this match…
*DING DING DING!*
TT: Well let’s see if Mariano Fernandez can do the impossible. Can he overcome the odds and defeat the awesome Magnus Thunder?
BC: No chance in hell.
Magnus walks slowly to the center of the ring, his immense power extenuated with each step. Mariano stays in his corner, crouched down and clearly overwhelmed by the size of the giant hovering over him. Mariano’s eyes dart all over the arena, perhaps looking for a way out. Magnus slowly stalks towards him. Suddenly, Mariano darts out of the corner and slides under Magnus’ legs. He quickly hops to his feet and leaps as high as he can, landing a dropkick between Magnus Thunder’s shoulder blades. Mariano gets back up and looks towards Magnus, hopefully that the dropkick inflicted some kind of damage; but Magnus didn’t even flinch. Mariano bounced off of him like he was barely even there, and Magnus slowly turns around.
BC: See? No chance in hell. Mariano better just concede that he can’t compete with a man this size, go home, and live to fight another day. But noooo, Mariano would nneeevvverr do THAT, would he, Teddy? He’s too brraaaaavvve.
TT: Well, he might not have much chance but he’s not gonna go down without a fight, that’s for sure.
Mariano’s eyes widen as he realizes even the most strenuous effort isn’t going to have an effect on Magnus. Magnus reaches for him but Mariano quickly scurries out of the way and runs to the ropes….Magnus throws a wild clothesline but Mariano ducks….on the rebound, Magnus throws up a big boot but Mariano slides underneath it…Mariano back to the ropes and Magnus tries to catch him with an avalanche but Mariano changes directions and bounces off the opposite ropes…Magnus struggling to keep track of which way Mariano is bouncing and Mariano with a drop kick to the knee! Magnus cringes and threatens to drop to one knee…Mariano off the ropes again and Magnus hunched over…a dropkick right to the chops! Magnus teetering…tottering….Mariano huffing and puffing but Magnus won’t go down! Mariano to the ropes again and he comes at Magnus…Magnus EXPLODES towards him with a SPEAR!
TT: OH MY GOD!
BC: Turn out the lights, the party’s ovvvvaaaahhh.
TT: My God almighty, I have never in my life seen a spear so vicious!
Mariano is hit with such force that he flies back like something out of the Matrix and if not for the ropes, he would have flown right out of the ring. But the ropes stop him and then fling him face first down to the mat. The crowd “ooo”s as a slow motion replay shows the spear – Mariano’s eyes bulge out of his head as Magnus’ shoulder impacts him. Back to a live shot, Mariano is down and likely out. Magnus grabs him by the foot and rips him towards the center of the ring almost effortlessly, and makes the cover.
TT: This is it, this is all she wrote.
TT: MARIANO GETS A SHOULDER UP! Good Lord, what tremendous heart but he can’t last much longer….
Magnus jerks Mariano up to his feet. Mariano on spaghetti legs and Magnus isn’t going to mess around. He pulls Mariano in, and sets him up for the Thunderstorm! He has him up….Mariano leaps over Magnus’ head and lands on his feet! The crowd roars at the counter! Magnus turns around…Mariano leaps to the top rope and springboards off towards Magnus! But the hope is quickly lost as Magnus catches him effortlessly in mid air and hangs on, walking around the ring with him as Mariano shakes his head frantically and kicks his feet. Magnus stands at one end of the ring and tosses him back with a fallaway slam, sending Mariano clear across to the other side of the ring, under the bottom rope, and to the outside!
TT: Good God, I have never seen anyone tossed around like this in all my years in the CWF…Magnus Thunder is absolutely dominant, the ref may as well just call this match off before Mariano gets seriously hurt.
BC: Did you see him bounce off that mat before he shot under the bottom rope? That was some whiplash, I’d be amazed if he even got up.
Magnus stands patiently in the ring, leaning against the turnbuckle with his arms crossed. Mariano, meanwhile, crawls slowly around the ring, using only his arms as his legs drag behind him, perhaps trying to figure out where he is. The referee starts to count him out….
Mariano fighting and clawing to get to his feet, using the apron to pull himself up.
TT: Mariano would be wise to stay down here…
BC: Even the crowd is telling him to stay down...don’t be an idiot, kid…live to fight another day!
Mariano rolls gingerly back into the ring! The crowd has a very loud mixed reaction.
TT: He’s back in! My God, he is back in the ring and he can barely stand, but he is showing the fight of a champion here!
Magnus barely shows any emotion at all and walks over to Mariano, palms his head like a basketball and pulls him to his feet. He whips him to the ropes…and RIPS around like a cyclone, scooping Mariano up and SLAMMING him hard into the mat with a vicious powerslam! Mariano bounces off the mat like a rubber ball and Magnus powers on top of him and hooks the leg for a cover!
BC: Now THAT should do it…
NO! Shoulder up!
TT: He…he got a shoulder up! Unbelievable! This entire arena thought it was all over!
BC: Wow! Talk about stupid! You can’t hurt him, Mariano! That means you can’t BEAT him! Stay down!
Magnus looks down at him in disbelief, but shrugs and pulls him back up to his feet. Mariano barely able to stand without Magnus Thunder’s support and Magnus has him up….THUNDERSTORM!
TT: Ok, NOW it’s over…
TT: I DON’T BELIEVE IT! MARIANO GRABBED THE BOTTOM ROPE! HE GOT OUT OF THE THUNDERSTORM AND MAGNUS THUNDER CAN’T BELIEVE HIS EYES!
The crowd goes wild and even the referee is in disbelief as he stares at Mariano’s hand grabbing the bottom rope, likely out of pure instinct. Magnus unsure of what to do to put the kid away and he drags him out towards the center of the ring!
TT: Wait a minute…
BC: No way…no FREAKIN’ way, Teddy!
Magnus Thunder heads for the top rope! The crowd on their feet and cameras flashing everywhere as Mariano lies helpless in the ring below, 500 pounds of beef about to come crashing down on him!
BC: I told you it was pancake time!
TT: Good God! Good God! This could end Mariano’s career!
Magnus dives off the top rope! And he comes CRASHING down on top of….the mat! Mariano rolls out of the way and the crowd explodes! The ring threatens to give out as Magnus lands face first on the canvas! Mariano blocks out the pain and crawls towards Magnus…and with every ounce of strength left in him, pushes Magnus over onto his side and then onto his back…and a cover!
BC: No way!
TT: Magnus Thunder with a HUGE kickout and Mariano is sent sailing ten feet in the air!
Mariano lands on his feet though, and as Magnus furiously stands up, Mariano races towards him as he gets to his knees with the YAKUZA KICK! Magnus groggily topples over and Mariano quickly drapes himself over the big man with another cover!
TT: MY GOD! THERE’S NOT AN OUNCE OF QUIT IN THIS KID AND HE IS THREE SECONDS AWAY FROM DEFEATING MAGNUS THUNDER!
TT: MAGNUS KICKS OUT!
The crowd on its feet now and Mariano flops over, his sudden rush of adrenaline finally depleted, his body racked with pain. Magnus Thunder fighting to get to his feet, using the ropes for leverage and he’s up! He angrily grabs Mariano and whips him to the ropes…and catches him with a DEVASTATING spinebuster!
BC: Can Mariano’s spine TAKE much more? I always said the kid was spineless but this is crazy…
TT: Will you shut up! Mariano will not quit and Magnus may have just put him away! Here’s the cover!
TT: I….I don’t even know what to say any more. MARIANO FERNADEZ JUST…..KICKED…. OUT!
Magnus in absolute disbelief and he pulls Mariano back to his feet once more. Mariano just dead weight at this point and Magnus has him up for a second THUNDERSTORM! Mariano laid completely out and now a cover…
*DING DING DING!*
TT: Wait a minute…there was no pinfall, why did the bell just sound?
BC: Someone must have had mercy on Mariano and called the match…
TT: The referee conversing with our ring announcer…let’s get the official word here….
The crowd is electric, chanting for Mariano as the announcer makes the call.
Ring Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen….I have just been informed that the time limit has EXPIRED!
The crowd roars.
Ring Announcer: Therefore, this match has been ruled a DRAW!
The crowd explodes and Magnus Thunder looks at the referee in disbelief.
TT: This is unbelievable! The smallest wrestler in the history of the CWF has just survived to a time limit draw with the biggest wrestler in CWF history!
BC: Wow! I’m speechless…
TT: And Magnus Thunder is livid!
Magnus Thunder grabs the referee by the collar and holds him up off the ground to eye level, shaking him violently and screaming at him. The referee is horrified and Magnus tosses him down recklessly to the mat.
TT: Magnus Thunder has snapped! What the hell has gotten into him?!
BC: I don’t know but I’m heading for cover!
Bobby Crane pulls his monitor underneath the desk with him.
TT: Would you get out from under there?!
BC: No thanks, I can see just fine from my monitor.
Magnus Thunder’s face turns bright red and he looks down at Mariano. The crowd boos loudly as Magnus considers.
TT: This crowd is booing Magnus Thunder! There’s a sound I thought I’d never hear! And Magnus doesn’t know how to react, this has never happened before!
Magnus grabs Mariano by the throat and pulls him up….Mariano helpless in his grip. Magnus lifts him up high…and DRIVES him down to the mat with a chokeslam!
*DING DING DING!*
TT: Come on! The match is over! Stop this!
As the timekeeper rings the bell in a futile attempt to calm Magnus down, Magnus twists his head and turns his gaze towards his corner. Stormhammer glimmers under the arena lights. A twisted smile crosses his face and he picks up his war hammer. He stands over top of Mariano, hovering the hammer tauntingly over his unconscious body. He lifts the hammer up….and he begins coming down, when…
TT: PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE!
The crowd roars as Pledge Allegiance grabs the hammer on Magnus Thunder’s backswing, but Magnus’ grip is too tight. CWF officials swarm the ring and Magnus Thunder is forced out of the ring! The crowd goes wild!
TT: THE CHAMPION OF THE WORLD JUST SAVED MARIANO FERNANDEZ’S ASS!
BC: Damn! Magnus was about to gut that little whelp like a fish!
Pledge yells at Magnus from inside the ring as security races to ringside and forces Magnus up the aisle. He walks backwards, petting Stormhammer and locking eyes with Pledge on his way back. Pledge shakes his head at him and Magnus grins coyly, knowing he had Mariano’s career in his hands.
TT: Thank God for Pledge Allegiance and Mariano is amazingly sitting up in the ring!
BC: I can’t believe what I just saw…
TT: Mariano Fernandez has defied every expectation of how this match would turn out…no matter what Magnus threw at him, Mariano would not stay down! Magnus Thunder never beat him! Mariano survived!
BC: And Pledge Allegiance saved him from an attack that would have ended his career for sure! Who would have thunk it?!
TT: We have got to take a commercial break but don’t go ANYWHERE fans…we still have our main event coming up! We’ll be right back!
TT: Welcome back fans and what a shocking turn Magnus Thunder has made as of late. Mariano Fernandez showing the heart of a warrior, Magnus couldn’t put him away and he just snapped and probably would have ended Mariano’s career if Pledge hadn’t shown up.
BC: Well apparently Pledge sees something in that kid that he likes but he’s gonna rue the day he stuck his nose in Magnus Thunder’s business.
TT: Hold on folks...[pauses] I just got word of an incident back stage with Magnus Thunder and the...the entire roster!?
BC: Yeah! Oh boy! Get us a feed now!
The big screen takes us backstage where we hear a cacophony of violent yelling. The cameraman pushes in on a crowd of onlookers, destruction all around, where a seething Magnus Thunder roars accusations against all gathered.
Magnus Thunder: You're all guilty! Because of HIM! You've all betrayed me! I HAVE GIVEN EVERYTHING! AND YOU'VE TAKEN ALL!
TT: What on earth has become of this man?
BC: WHOA WHOA WHOA! HE'S RIPPING LOCKERS RIGHT OUT OF THE FLOOR! A rainstorm of galvanized steel and the locker room flees in fury! He pitches one at Osbourne! He pitches one at Richards!
TT: Mark Xamin in the back now, ironically trying to calm him down and afraid to get too close! Security following close behind! They don't stand a chance!
Mark Xamin: What the hell's the matter with you!? You need to get your act back together! This isn't you!
Magnus stops and turns to face Xamin...fury exploding in his momentary silence.
Magnus Thunder: You...you are with HIM. Adams...Osborne...they are behind it all...
Mark Xamin: You're insa--Urk!
TT: MAGNUS GRABS XAMIN BY THE THROAT! HE'S UP IN A CHOKESLAM!
BC: Magnus grabs Stormbringer! He'll beat 'em all down like nails in a board!
TT: THIS IS SICK! He brings it up and...MARIANO! OUT OF NOWHERE! FLYING SOMMERSAULT AND HE PUTS HIS WHOLE BODY INTO WRENCHING THAT HAMMER FROM MAGNUS! Off he goes! Magnus in a chase but the locker room converges on him!
BC: LAST MAN STANDING IS HAPPENING TONIGHT FANS!
The cameraman is engulfed in the chaos and the feed dies.
TT: I don't believe it...a storm has truly come to the CWF and no one is safe...whoever's been offing this man's friends is going to have hell to pay once he finds him!
BC: He has lost his damn mind…and I love it! Ha! And Mariano’s stolen Stormhammer! You just know we’re gonna get to see him pay the price for that down the road!
TT: Well Pledge Allegiance saved Mariano before the commercial break, and now Mariano may have saved the entire CWF roster from certain destruction and this is just getting out of hand…
BC: Yeah and we still have the main event to go!
TT: Oh man…two of the most intense rivalries in this industry today will explode into one ring in just a moment! Pledge and Chemical X taking on Rob Osbourne and Sickboy, and my God almighty can you imagine what Pledge and X want to do to the two Horsemen they’ll be in the ring with tonight after the antics that have taken place here in Pittsburgh?
BC: I don’t think this is even gonna be a match, Teddy…this is gonna be a street fight and you might be wise to join me under the table!
TT: You could be right and we are ready to get underway with that right now! Let’s head to the ring for our explosive main event!
Cut to the ring.
Ring Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first…at a total combined weight of 515 pounds… SICKBOY and “THE NITEMARE” ROB OSBOURNE!
“Nightmare” by Crooked X, interspersed with “Angry Chair” by Alice in Chains hits, and Rob Osbourne and Sickboy emerge from behind the curtain. They flash the sign of the Horsemen to the crowd, who boos them violently, and then walk to the ring together with an air of arrogance about them, taunting the fans on their way down. They climb into the ring and immediately begin discussing strategy.
TT: Well we know the two Horsemen will be on the same page here…but can Pledge and Chemical X work together as a unit? We’ve seen them band together just to survive the night, but will that translate into the ring?
BC: Ordinarily I’d say no way, but right now they don’t have much choice or the Horsemen will eat them alive.
Ring Announcer: And their opponents….at a total combined weight of 556 pounds…the team of CHEMICAL X and the CWF World Heavyweight Champion, PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE!
“Iron Man” by Black Sabbath hits and the crowd erupts as Pledge Allegiance and Chemical X storm out of the back and charge the ring, immediately attacking Osbourne and Sickboy!
TT: MY GOD HERE WE GO!
*DING DING DING!*
Pledge immediately tackles Nitemare, Chemical X jumps on Sickboy and all four men rolling around the ring in a blur of flying fists and gnashed teeth! Pledge unloading on Nitemare, Chemical X and Sickboy fall out of the ring and the brawl spills out onto the floor! Pledge pulls Nitemare up and shoves him hard into the corner! Nitemare’s hair whipping back with each blow as Pledge throws fist after fist at him! Pledge whips him to the opposite corner and Nitemare flips over the top turnbuckle upon impact! Pledge off the ropes…and he ROCK Nitemare with a clothesline on the apron! Nitemare flips backwards and lands on the arena floor! The crowd going wild and meanwhile Sickboy and Chemical X brawl in front of the announce booth!
TT: THIS IS ANARCHY! THE RING CANNOT CONTAIN THESE TWO TEAMS AND THE REF HAD BETTER GET CONTROL!
BC: I don’t seem so crazy for sitting under the table NOW, do I?! DO I?!
TT: Pledge and Nitemare want to kill each other and I’m starting to see why the no rematch clause was invoked at Fall Fever!
Chemical X whips Sickboy hard into the guardrail! X charges but Sickboy moves and X crashes into the guardrail! Pledge throws Nitemare into the ring post! But Sickboy sees Nitemare in trouble and slugs Pledge from behind with a forearm to the back! Pledge falls to his feet and Sickboy picks up the National title and nails him in the back of the head with it!
*DING DING DING!*
Ring Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, the referee has ruled this match NO CONTEST! Both teams have been disqualified!
The crowd boos.
TT: The ref lost total control and these two teams don’t even give a damn!
BC: This isn’t about winning and losing! These guys want to hurt each other!
Chemical X jumps on Sickboy from behind and they brawl up the aisle! X throwing heavy right hands that connect directly with Sickboy’s forehead and Sickboy is dazed! Chemical X throws him into a lighting rig next to the stage! Meanwhile, Nitemare has Pledge by the hair and bashes his head into the ring steps! Pledge in a world of hurt and now Osbourne drags him over to the guard rail…and crotches him on it! Pledge’s eyes bulge out of his head and Osbourne shoves him into the fans in the front row!
TT: My God! No one is safe! Fans are getting into it, Chemical X and Sickboy are tearing the damn set apart trying to maim each other!
Chemical X heaves the “S” for “Showdown” off the set at Sickboy! Sickboy gets nailed with it and busted wide open! X pulls him up and…LOW BLOW! Low blow by Sickboy and he spears X to the ground! Sickboy with X in a headlock now and he drives his fist into his head! Blood pouring down the face of Sickboy!
Meanwhile, Nitemare hops over the guard rail and he and Pledge brawl through the crowd! Fans taking shots at Nitemare and Pledge whips him into a hot dog stand on the floor! Ketchup, mustard, relish and hotdogs flying everywhere and Pledge jumps on Nitemare and unloads with more right hands!
Sickboy grabs Chemical X up and…SMASHES HIM INTO THE VIDEO SCREEN IN THE “O” OF THE SET! Sparks fly everywhere and the screen smashes! The crowd erupts into a huge buzz, not believing what they just saw.
TT: OH MY GOD! CHEMICAL X JUST WENT THROUGH THE VIDEO SCREEN!
BC: AHHHH! That’s gonna cost Sickboy a good chunk of money!
Meanwhile, Pledge and Nitemare brawl up the stairs through a crowd! They are brawling through the arena and the camera can’t follow them any further! Chemical X slumps down to the floor, bloodied and with shards of glass stuck in his head…Sickboy mounts him and unleashes with fists of fury but Chemical X shoves him off and the crowd roars as X fights to his feet and the two brawl behind the curtain! Cameras follow them and X throws Sickboy into a coffee table! Cups and hot coffee flying everywhere and scalding Sickboy, who screams as the hot liquid eats away at his skin!
TT: Someone better get security on the case because Nitemare and Pledge are battling somewhere in the arena and Chemical X and Sickboy will kill each other before they stop this!
BC: Have you ever seen anything like this before?! This was supposed to be a tag team match!
TT: Never have I seen such intense hatred!
The alternate video screen hovering above the ring buzzes to life and the crowd roars as camera crews have caught up to Pledge and Nitemare, brawling in the kitchen of a McDonalds concession stand! Nitemare trying to dunk Pledge’s head in the deep frier!
TT: OH GOD! SOMEONE STOP THIS NOW!
BC: Ha! I’ll have a McPledge Meal with the free Trixie Lee toy!
TT: Stop it!
Pledge desperately elbows Nitemare in the gut but Osbourne won’t let go, hell bent on dunking Pledge’s face in the deep frier…..MARIANO FERNANDEZ! Mariano nails Osbourne with STORMBRINGER!
TT: Mariano has saved Pledge Allegiance and returned the favor! Pledge saved him earlier tonight and now Mariano has saved Pledge!
BC: And Mariano must feel right at home, working in a McDonalds. Can you say “would you like fries with that?”
TT: Stop it!
Pledge nods at Mariano in gratitude and throws Nitemare over the counter!
BC: Ready made and fresh to order!
TT: Pledge dragging Osbourne behind him by the hair, Osbourne with no choice but to follow him and they are headed back into the arena! This crowd is on its feet and I might be joining you under the damn table after all!
As Pledge and Nitemare brawl back down the stairs, Chemical X and Sickboy re-emerge from behind the curtain, each wearing a crimson mask! They brawl all the way down the aisle and back into the ring…Pledge throws Nitemare over the guardrail and all four men have brawled back to ringside!
TT: Good God, who is gonna survive this?!
Suddenly, the crowd boos as Roland Ulv and Terry Richards sprint down the aisle. Richards jumps on Chemical X and Ulv jumps on Pledge, and the Horsemen outnumber Pledge and X 4-2!
TT: Oh come on! The Horsemen are out here doing a number on Pledge and Chemical X but wait a damn minute!
The crowd roars as Mariano Fernandez races down the stairs with Stormbringer in his hands, hops over the guard rail and jumps in to help Pledge and X!
TT: MARIANO! MY GOD ALMIGHTY THIS JUST KEEPS GETTING MORE CHAOTIC!
Suddenly, MAGNUS THUNDER towers through the curtain! The crowd boos and Magnus powers down the aisle! Mariano slides under the bottom rope with Stormhammer and escapes through the crowd! Magnus lets out a war cry and he is nailing everyone in the ring! The crowd going wild! SPINEBUSTER on Roland Ulv! POWERSLAM on Terry Richards! CLOTHESLINE over the top on Nitemare! SPEAR on Chemical X! THUNDERSTORM ON PLEDGE!
TT: THIS IS ABSOLUTE PANDAMONIUM IN PITTSBURGH! MAGNUS THUNDER HAS CLEARED THE RING AND WE ARE OUT OF TIME!
BC: I wanna go hommme!
TT: I’M TEDDY TURNBUCKLE FOR “BEAUTIFUL” BOBBY CRANE! WE ARE OUT OF TIME, THANKS FOR JOINING US! SEE YOU NEXT WEEK!
We zoom in on Magnus Thunder’s furious eyes, searching the crowd for Mariano Fernandez. Mariano stands at the top of the stairs into the lobby, holding up Stormbringer as if it were a trophy. The crowd roars as Magnus stares him down from inside the ring.
Fade to black.
Until next time…