Valentine’s Day. The most romantic day of the year. A time to show your loved ones just how much you care.

But for the superstars of the Classic Wrestling Federation, there will be no love lost. These men prefer to break bones, not hearts. They prefer the euphoria of a glorious victory, rather than the blissfulness of love.

Tonight, the CWF isn’t going to send you a candy gram, a bag of cinnamon hearts, or a bouquet of flowers. Tonight, the CWF gives to you…

Craze in the Maze II…

A ladder match…

Tonight, the CWF gives to you…


The Xcel Energy Center in St. Paul, Minnesota has been sold out for over two weeks as the symbol of excellence in professional wrestling, the CWF, makes its long awaited return. And though outside it is bitterly cold, inside the arena the crowd is white hot in anticipation of one of what is sure to be a memorable night in CWF history.

A dazzling array of pyrotechnics explode at the entrance ramp and above the ring. The crowd is worked into a frenzy as the wait has finally come to an end. The Valentine Bash set is an impressive one. Featured at the entrance ramp is a heart, severed in half. From the center of the tear is the curtain from which the combatants will make the long walk down the red carpeted aisled, and into the ring. The ring itself is constructed of a dark grey canvas, augmented with a red and black apron featuring the words “The Valentine Bash” sprawled across it, and “” sub-titled below. The center of the ring features a broken heart, matching the set at the entrance ramp. And hanging above the ring…

The ominous, mammoth structure.

The battleground of epic proportions that will shorten the careers of anyone who dares to enter it on this night.

The Maze.

Welcoming us to the broadcast are two familiar faces…moreover, two familiar voices. They’ve been the voice of the CWF for some eleven years, and what better way to welcome us all back than…

TT: Good evening ladies and gentlemen, and welcome back to the Classic Wrestling Federation! We are live from St. Paul, Minnesota, and this raucous crowd of some eighteen thousand fans is here to see one of the most anticipated events in the history of this company…I’m talking about The Valentine Bash. I’m Teddy Turnbuckle and with me, as always, is none other than…

BC: The most beautiful man in professional wrestling. Fear not, “Beautiful” Bobby Crane has returned to pretty up this broadcast!

TT: And I’m oh so glad you’re back, Bobby.

BC: I can smell your sarcasm from a mile away, Teddy…or maybe that’s just how you smell.

TT: Nonetheless ladies and gentlemen, what a broadcast we have for you tonight! Look at the star studded lineup we have here in St. Paul…Magnus Thunder makes his return to the ring tonight. Former CWF World Champion Pledge Allegiance is here. And I know your favorite, Bobby… Paul Blair is indeed in the building, right here tonight.

BC: Well let’s be honest, Teddy. A qualifying match? Craze in the Maze? Give me a break.

TT: What’s wrong with that?

BC: What’s wrong with that? Listen to you…what’s wrong with that? What’s right with that, you nerd? Does that sound fair to Blair to you?

TT: Oh God not this again…

BC: I mean come onnnnn, Teddy. The man has made CWF history, he’s a multiple time champion, a Hall of Famer, he’s dropped Mark Xamin from the top of a damn cell, he’s done it all! And you expect him to have to qualify for the most sadistic match in wrestling? You expect him to have to qualify for Super Card? That isn’t fair to Blair. I mean, fair is fair, and fair to Blair is fair, but this isn’t fair to Blair, this isn’t fair at all…this is downright unfair. Unfair isn’t fair, and unfair certainly isn’t fair to Blair, and if it isn’t fair to Blair, it isn’t…

TT: Oh shut up, already! My God…

Bobby Crane snubs his nose and looks away, instead looking with disgust at an overweight fan in the front row.

BC: Absolutely disgusting. No wonder it stinks in here.

TT: Anyway…in a series of qualifying matches here tonight, we’re going to see The Raving Lunatic take on X-Trimmer. Triple G has his work cut out for him as he takes on Pledge Allegiance. Kyle Sync battles The M.u.H….Mr. Markowitz takes on Hall of Famer Paul Blair. Mickey Stone goes one on one with Motion. Brian Adams goes toe to toe with Khrist. And the 7’5”, 500 pound mammoth, Magnus Thunder, goes up against Toxic. The rules are simple…the winners advance to Craze in the Maze II. The first four men to escape the Maze are on their way to the main event at Super Card V in Toronto for a CWF World Championship title match. The losers of the qualifying matches enter a ladder match, right here tonight, where one man will emerge the winner and earn himself a spot in the Super Card V main event as well. Regardless, every man here tonight will wrestle in two matches, and every man here tonight will be waking up tomorrow morning in a significant amount of pain. It’s the CWF Valentine Bash…let’s get started as we head to the ring!

An overhead shot of the ring. The camera zooms in on the broken heart symbol in the center of the ring. It zooms in until it goes blurry, and then fades out to a shot of ring announcer Doc McMartin. Always a sharply dressed man, Doc is decked out in a tuxedo, complete with a red bow tie.

Doc McMartin: Laaaaaaadies and gentlemen, welcome to The Valentine Bash, presented to you by the Classic Wrestling Federation and Pepsi! The CWF thanks all of you for setting a new Xcel Energy Center record…The Valentine Bash sold out in under three minutes!

The fans give themselves a round of applause.

Doc McMartin: Tonight, as the CWF and the entire wrestling world prepare for Super Card V, we will witness the most violent match in wrestling…Crrrrrraaaazzzze in the Maaaaazzzze!

The crowd roars.

Doc McMartin: It is my duty to remind all of you, our loyal fans in attendance and those watching at home, that Craze in the Maze is not for the faint at heart, and may not be suitable for all members of the audience…viewer discretion is advised.

And with that, we are ready for our first match.


The Raving Lunatic is certainly an interesting personality. The fans didn’t quite know what to think of him, and certainly the fans in the front row were somewhat leery of the deranged new superstar from Las Vegas, Nevada. X-Trimer, hailing from Ontario, Canada – the site of Super Card V next month – should by all means have been a little apprehensive to climb into the ring with someone so twisted. But to his credit, he went in with no fear and at least put up a fight.

It must have been around the time The Raving Lunatic started scratching bits of flesh out of his own forearm that X-Trimmer realized he was in trouble. The psychological game that Lunatic was playing had its desired effect – though no one can be sure whether he was playing those games on purpose or if he was just doing what felt…um, natural. Nonetheless, X-Trimmer went into survival mode from that point onward and his offense effectively stopped. He lasted about three more minutes before the brutal attack of The Raving Lunatic did him in. Finishing him with a Scatterbrain, the devastating top-rope brainbuster, The Raving Lunatic won the match and moves on to the Craze in the Maze main event later on tonight.

X-Trimmer, on the other hand, will attempt to compete in the second chance Ladder Match…if he can find his bearings after that wicked drop from the top.

TT: Well it certainly looks like The Raving Lunatic is going to be a force to be reckoned with.

BC: Anyone who proudly calls himself a Raving Lunatic is a dangerous man, Teddy. I didn’t feel safe sitting here at ringside with that nut job an arm’s length away from me. I don’t know about you, but I’m glad he’ll be locked inside that Maze later tonight rather than climbing ladders.

TT: I can’t disagree with that, but you have to wonder if the Maze is a place The Raving Lunatic might feel at home in! It certainly plays to his strengths…he can do whatever he wants to whoever he wants and whoever else climbs into that Maze with him had better have eyes in the back of their heads because I wouldn’t want this guy sneaking up behind me.

BC: Yeah, he’d be followed by a bunch of guys wearing white jackets but still, he could do some serious damage in a matter of seconds. And when you think about it, this may work out for X-Trimmer too.

TT: Indeed, a ladder match may be his style of match…we’ll find out later tonight, but up next we have our second qualifying match…Magnus Thunder, the largest and most powerful man in wrestling, takes on ToXic, the new comer to the CWF…and a guy who may be in over his head here.

BC: You’re not kidding, and nothing is over Magnus Thunder’s head, the guy is 7’5”, 500 pounds of grade A Nordic beef, and that’s one hamburger I’m not biting into, because it’ll bite back.

TT: Did you really just compare Magnus Thunder to a hamburger?

BC: Shut up, Teddy…I have my reasons.

TT: I bet you do. Well nonetheless it was Magnus Thunder who stole the show at the very first Valentine Bash in 1998. On that night he won himself a spot in the main event at Super Card I…can history repeat itself here tonight? Can Magnus Thunder win himself a spot in the Super Card main event at the Valentine Bash some eleven years later? Let’s go to the ring and find out.


The crowd was almost sympathetic towards Toxic as he walked to the ring, looking at him as though he were about to be fed to the lions. Toxic himself had a tinge of nervousness in his eyes, though whether or not that was from the grandeur of competing on the CWF stage is indeed another possibility. The native of Detroit, Michigan was escorted to the ring by the lovely Rain, who did her best to calm his nerves.

Until the thunder rolled in.

The crowd welcomed Magnus Thunder back with a loud ovation as he walked to the ring slowly, menacingly, making Toxic anticipate what was about to unfold…making him watch the heaving mass of humanity that was coming towards him.

As the bell sounded, Toxic immediately threw everything he had at him. Thunder stood there and took it, almost unfazed by the attack, no doubt psyching out Toxic even more. Rain screamed from the outside, pounding the mat with her fists and imploring Toxic to hit him harder. Toxic prepared to kick Magnus between the legs, and that’s when Magnus decided to stop him. He grabbed Toxic by the ankle on the follow through from the kick, and swung him around in a circle, releasing his grasp and watching Toxic sail into the corner and wrap around the ring post ribs first. Magnus pulled him back up and powerbombed him…and then held on, and dropped him with a sitdown powerbomb – The Thunderstorm – and got the 1, 2, 3.

Magnus moves on to the Maze. Toxic, busted up ribs and all, heads into the second chance ladder match.

TT: Well, he’s back…and man oh man…he is looking stronger than ever. Magnus Thunder moves on to the Maze, and Toxic is heading to the ladder match for a second chance.

BC: Did you see how hard his ribs hit that post? I wouldn’t be surprised if they were broken, Teddy! And if his ribs aren’t broken somebody better check to see if the post is ok because something had to give with that impact!

TT: Well be that as it may, the first two entrants into the Craze in the Maze main event here tonight…The Raving Lunatic and Magnus Thunder. That would make for an interesting match on its own, but we’ve still got five more entrants to decide!

BC: Imagine what would happen if those two collided tonight! I’ve gotta tell you, I don’t think there are many people that could match up with Magnus Thunder…but The Raving Lunatic might just me crazy enough to survive!

TT: We’ll find that out tonight! Up next we have Mickey Stone taking on Motion…both new comers to the CWF, but both of them have a real chance to make a name for themselves right off the bat. A birth in the Super Card main event would propel them into an elite status right from the get go.

BC: Well we’ll see who’s up to the task. Mickey Stone’s training regimen is pretty intense, but we don’t know much about Motion…and I have it on good authority that Mickey Stone fears the unknown!

TT: I don’t know about that, Bobby…but then I don’t know about much of anything that comes out of your mouth…so let’s just go to the ring and find out for ourselves!


Both newcomers were entering this one looking to impress, knowing that a win in this match granted them as good a chance as anyone in the main event to get to Super Card V. Mickey Stone, the Phoenix, Arizona native, came into this one as the favorite, while little is known about Motion, the Irish star who quickly signed his name to a CWF contract.

Stone did not disappoint. The beginning of the match was back and forth, both men jockeying for position and trying to make the other wrestle his match. Stone won out, and once he took control there was no looking back. Motion seemed ill prepared for the onslaught Mickey Stone brought to the match on this night. Stone is a man of incredible discipline, and it showed as he picked his spots carefully and capitalized on every mistake Motion made. After missing a clothesline, Motion was in a vulnerable position, and Stone was able to catch him with the Italian Revolution II for the three count and the victory. Mickey Stone moves on to Craze in the Maze II, while Motion is headed for the second chance ladder match.

TT: A very impressive showing by Mickey Stone…Motion seemed to be just barely hanging on for most of that match, and it was only a matter of time before Stone put him away.

BC: Well Motion didn’t show much motion there…in fact right now he’s lying motionless in the middle of the ring after that move Stone put on him. But think about what must be going through Mickey Stone’s head right now, Teddy! It’s his first night in the CWF and he’s heading into the main event of a major pay-per-view in the most sadistic match ever constructed! He must be quaking in his boots!

TT: I don’t know about that, for a young kid like Mickey Stone, he’s got an awful lot of composure and he sat back and made Motion pay for every single mistake he made…that’s a trait that bodes well for him in the Maze! But up next fans, we have the CWF Hall of Famer Paul Blair, taking on Mr. Markowitz.

BC: Now let’s be fair here…

TT: Oh God…

BC: No shut up, Teddy…let’s just take a second here, and be fair to Blair. Blair will beat Markowitz. Blair doesn’t care. It isn’t fair, but Blair don’t care. He’ll waste his energy on this second class amateur rookie, Mr. Markowitz…and he’ll move on and compete in the Maze and he’ll still make it to Super Card. Blair is an iron man, Teddy! He’ll overcome the odds, he’ll walk into the mouth of hell, look the devil in the eye and say “you know what, devil? That ain’t fair. That ain’t fair to Blair at all, and I want you to do something about it”…and you know what the devil will say, Teddy?

TT: Can we just go to the ring?

BC: The devil will say “I’m sorry mister Blair. You’re right, that isn’t very fair to Blair. Fair is fair, and that ain’t fair.”

TT: You’re like Dr. Suess for adults. Let’s just get on with this…


Markowitz knew this was as big an opportunity as one could be afforded so early in his career. As the rookie from Tenafly, New Jersey made his way through the building corridors and through the curtain, as he walked down the aisle and stared out into the massive crowd, flashing lights, and the CWF ring in the midst of it all, he knew that all of this could be his. All he had to do was beat Paul Blair. A victory over a CWF Hall of Famer and the two time former World Champion would make him an instant star, an instant main eventer. If he could beat Paul Blair, who’s to say he could go on to qualify for the Super Card V main event?

But as Blair’s music hit and the crowd began to shower the silhouette of a man Markowitz saw walking through the curtain, he realized just how difficult this was going to be. This was a man who Markowitz grew up watching. This was a man who knew all the tricks, all the shortcuts…this was a man who had been through everything imaginable and yet was still on his way to the ring to face him. Markowitz turned his back to the aisle and rested his head on the turnbuckle, a sort of self-huddle. But he couldn’t ignore the raucous crowd who was so anti-Blair that he could barely hear Bobby Crane protesting at ringside…something about “unfair.”

As Blair stepped through the ropes and entered the ring, Markowitz turned to face him. From across the ring, Blair had a huge grin on his face, soaking in the hatred of the crowd. He winked at Markowitz condescendingly. This was the difference between the two – Markowitz was in awe of the CWF, while Blair was home at last. But Markowitz was knocking on the door, and if Blair let him in…well, he would have a chance. And that’s all he could ask for.

Once the bell sounded, they circled each other, locked up, and Markowitz took him down. A shocked Blair complained that he had his hair pulled. As the referee warned Markowitz, Blair smiled and waved at him. Markowitz remained calm, and they tied up again. Once again, Markowitz took him down. Again, Blair claimed he pulled his hair. Again, the referee warned Markowitz. This time Markowitz argued back. They locked up again…and yet again, down goes Blair. You guessed it, he complained again. This time, as the ref was warning Markowitz, Blair rushed in and blindsided Markowitz. From there, Blair took control.

Markowitz withstood the assault, kicking out of every pinfall, battling out of every submission. He knew it, even if no one else did. Frustration was beginning to show on Blair’s part – perhaps he knew it too. As he pulled Markowitz up, Markowitz countered him and took control of the match. Blair came within a hair’s length away from being beaten, kicking out at the last split second of a close pinfall on a rollup.

But that was where things took a turn for the worse. Now brimming with confidence and overflowing with adrenaline, Markowitz tried to finish him. He had him up for the Helicopter, but it was too early. As he spun Blair around, Blair landed on his feet. As Markowitz turned to find him, he got a swift boot in the chin…he had been Blair Kicked.

1, 2, 3.

Blair won the match, but Markowitz made a lasting impression on everyone watching.

The next entrant into Craze in the Maze…Paul Blair. Onto the second chance ladder match…Mr. Markowitz.

TT: What an impressive showing by Mr. Markowitz! Blair clearly underestimated him and Markowitz took advantage…he almost had him, Bobby! You’re sweating!

BC: Ok, explain to me how that was fair.

TT: To Blair?

BC: Of course. He’s a Hall of Famer, a multiple time champion, and you throw him in there against some no-name rookie and make him compete in a match like that…what a disadvantage he’s at in the Maze now. Blair has got to be tired and that just flat out isn’t fair! None of the other guys had to go through that! It isn’t fair damnit! But Blair has the stamina of a raging bull, nothing’s gonna keep him down!

TT: I don’t know, Bobby, maybe you should be a little worried. Markowitz gave him a run for his money, and after a match like that most people would call it a night…and a good night at that. But Blair has to come back out here and compete in the most brutal match of all time…I don’t like his odds!

BC: Yeah well, you’re odd. Speaking of odds, what about Markowitz’s chances in the ladder match? He can’t have much left either, so the stupid idiot may have shot himself in the foot by spending all his energy on Blair!

TT: Well certainly Markowitz is the odds on favorite to win that match so far, but whether or not he has the stamina to fight through every other guy in that match, and climb a ladder…well, I suppose we’ll find out! But up next we have Kyle Sync taking on The M.u.H. Both are new comers to the CWF, but The M.u.H. has looked hungry right from the moment he signed his contract. We haven’t heard much out of Kyle Sync but he comes highly touted. This could be interesting.


Kyle Sync is a man with a reputation for being a fierce competitor. A betting man would have bet his house on Sync in this one, based on that alone. He looked confident as he walked down the aisle, unfazed by the fanfare and the bright lights of the CWF.

The MuH walked out brimming with confidence as well. He seemed to enjoy the pomp and fanfare, and the fans took an interest in him almost immediately. Some liked him, some couldn’t stand him, but he got a reaction.

The match started off slow, with Sync trying to pick MuH apart. But about five minutes in, as they were battling outside the ring, MuH whipped him into the ring steps and Sync’s knee bounced off the corner of the steel. He appeared to be injured, and couldn’t put weight on his right knee for the rest of the match. He battled though, and tried his best to give MuH a run for his money. But MuH was smart and sped up the match, running the ropes and playing to Sync’s disadvantage due to his injury. Sync couldn’t keep up, as any time he took control, MuH simply kicked him in the knee and Sync grimaced in pain.

Then, as an unsuspecting Sync leaned over to favor his injury, MuH bounced off the ropes and connected with the Automatic. Sync was out cold and MuH wasted no time covering him for the three count. The M.u.H. moves on to Craze in the Maze. Kyle Sync is headed for the second chance ladder match.

After the match, Kyle Sync had to be helped to the back. His ability to compete later in the evening became a serious question mark.

TT: A tough break for Kyle Sync, who was no doubt the odds on favorite in this one. The MuH really did a good job…he capitalized on Sync’s one single mistake, which led to the injury, and from that point on he picked up the pace, and from there it was academic, Bobby…there was no way Kyle Sync could switch gears and wrestle that kind of match after a knee injury.

BC: Well that injury looked bad. I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t make it back out here for the ladder match…and even if he does, what’s the point? You can’t climb a ladder with a bad knee. And one shot to the knee with a ladder…it’d be lights out for a long time.

TT: That’s very true, we’ll have to keep our fingers crossed for Kyle Sync, but now you have to look at the MuH and wonder if he has a chance in this Craze in the Maze. No doubt he’s an underdog but the kid can move, and if he can navigate his way through the maze…well he’s got as good a shot as anybody.

BC: But can he stand up to a guy like Magnus Thunder, Paul Blair, Mickey Stone, The Raving Lunatic? Who knows, he’s got his work cut out for him though.

TT: Well we have two qualifying matches left, so let’s get on with this next one…Triple G takes on a CWF legend, and former two time World Champion, Pledge Allegiance. What does Triple G have to do to beat Pledge here tonight?

BC: Well he’s got an opportunity similar to the one Mr. Markowitz had earlier tonight. Of course Pledge isn’t half the legend Blair is, and Markowitz was stupid to even try…

TT: …oh give me a break…

BC: …but if Triple G can beat Pledge tonight, he’ll be well on his way to a successful CWF career…but to do that, he has to want it, and I don’t think he does. He’ll have to catch Pledge by surprise, which I don’t think he can do…and he has to have the will to survive…which I don’t think he has. So, in short…Pledge is gonna kick his ass, and it pains me to say that.

TT: Well we thought the same about Blair and Markowitz so we’ll see if Triple G can put in a similar performance. I’ve heard there’s a Markowitz and Triple G are fairly competitive with each other so Triple G will no doubt be trying to upstage him.


With Mr. Markowitz’s match in the back of his mind, Triple G headed to the ring eager to put in a similar effort, minus the one mistake that cost Markowitz the match against Blair earlier in the night. His focus on that one, singular objective seemingly numbed him of the pressure of performing on such a grand stage, against such a big name.

Pledge Allegiance brought the crowd to its feet as he walked down the aisle with a purpose. Tonight, he was going to get it done, and he wasn’t going to leave a question in anyone’s mind who the dominant wrestler was.

From the minute the bell rang, Triple G was clearly in over his head. Pledge controlled the match from start to finish and in the few moments of the match where Triple G began to mount an offense, Pledge was able to put a stop to it immediately. Clearly, whereas Blair had underestimated Markowitz, Pledge was taking nothing for granted.

A Pledge Hammer later and Triple G was a beaten man. 1, 2, 3.

Pledge Allegiance advances to the Craze in the Maze. Triple G heads to the second chance ladder match.

Triple G appeared to have injured his back on the fall from the Pledge Hammer, and could barely walk back to the dressing room. EMTs came down to assist him but he refused, instead electing to show everyone watching just how tough he was – it took him some time, but he walked out under his own power.

TT: Another injury sustained there, but Pledge Allegiance was all over him from the outset.

BC: Like I said, Teddy…Triple G didn’t have what it takes, plain and simple. But these injuries are getting ridiculous!

TT: We’ve seen four now, and I’m getting word that Motion may have sustained an injury earlier as well in his match against Mickey Stone, so we’re talking about five injuries tonight, I’ve never seen anything like it. I’m hesitant to ask you this, Bobby, because I expect nothing less than a smartass retort, but you’re a veteran of the ring yourself, a former ECWA World Champion, and a lot of people think you could have gone to the top in the CWF if you’d chosen to do so…what do you attribute these injuries to?

BC: Well first of all, you’re right, I could have been the champion of the world in the CWF if I wanted to be, but frankly I get more air time sitting here with your scrawny ass. But as for your question…the answer is these guys flat out weren’t prepared. Triple G was clearly not ready for Pledge Allegiance, Motion was picked apart by Mickey Stone, I don’t know what his injury could be because we couldn’t detect it but reports from the back are it could be serious…Kyle Sync caught a bad break with his knee injury but he took a risk and it didn’t pay off…X-Trimmer wasn’t ready for The Raving Lunatic…but then again, how do you prepare for a guy like that? And ToXic was nowhere near ready for the brick wall known as Magnus Thunder. And we can add another injury on top of that…the ring post! Because Toxic hit that post with the velocity of a Nolan Ryan fastball.

TT: So it comes down to conditioning?

BC: Exactly! You have to be in tip top shape to survive in this kind of business, especially on this level…these guys weren’t in shape and it’s as simple as that. And right now Mr. Markowitz is the only healthy guy heading in the second chance ladder match…but how healthy is he, really? He had a long match with the Ruler of the Universe, Paul Blair…

TT: …oh please…

BC: And he had his head decapitated by that Blair Kick. So right now, the second chance ladder match is looking more like a second chance wheelchair match!

TT: Well be that as it may, we have one qualifying match left, and it should be a good one. Brian Adams, the CWF veteran, takes on new comer Khrist. Let’s hope there aren’t any injuries in this one!


Khrist is a mysterious new comer. He is no doubt delusional, but his delusions are frightening, because he truly believes they’re real. He believes he’s the second coming. He leads “the new church,” if that gives you any indication of this man’s state of mind. As he stalked his way to the ring, he looked up to the heavens and grinned slyly, as if he knew God was in his corner and nothing could stand in his way.

Brian Adams, however, had other plans. Cocky, arrogant, but seasoned, Adams has seen his share of opportunities pass him by. As he tore through the curtain, it was clear that he wasn’t about to let this be another one. He was going to seize this chance, take CWF by the horns and make the most of this chance. He seemed wholly unimpressed by Khrist, who stood in the ring with that same sly grin on his face. Adams returned the same grin – the game of mental chess thus began.

And what a game it was. These two waged an all out war, both men trying to outsmart the other. Both of them were willing to bend the rules to gain the upper hand, but in the end they were both so willing to do that, that it almost became awash. Brian Adams got busted open about half way through when Khrist bounced his head off the ring post. Adams lost his vision as the blood began to pour into his eyes, and started taking wild swings at Khrist, who had smeared Adams’ blood across his chest as a badge of honor. Fortunately for Adams, one of his wild swings connected and busted Khrist’s nose wide open. Blood was pouring out of both men now, and had stained the mat.

A sickening image, but one that will surely be etched into the minds of anyone watching, saw Khrist smiling as he gurgled blood out of his throat and through his teeth.

Then, it came down to a battle of attrition. They slugged it out, back and forth, in the middle of the ring. Both men had spaghetti legs and both fell to their knees at some point or another in the exchange, but in the end, Brian Adams gutted it out and took control. This gave him the window of opportunity he was looking for – as Khrist staggered, Adams caught him with the Last Chapter, and barely managed to crawl over to him and drape his arm across Khrist’s blood stained chest. He got the three count and the victory.

Brian Adams advances to the Maze. Khrist is going to the second chance ladder match.

TT: Didn’t we ask for no more injuries? Both these guys are in danger of not making it back out here…that was a lot of blood lost, but man alive what a match we just saw!

BC: That was pure guts and a desire to win right there…and that’s the difference between these two and the other guys that got injured tonight…these two wanted it that much more, and while they lost a lot of blood…mark my words, both these guys will make it back out here if it kills them…they won’t let this war be in vain. I can’t wait to watch these two hook up again!

TT: That was a bloody war if I ever saw one, and we have got our main event set for the evening! Entering the Craze in the Maze tonight, for a chance to main event the biggest event in CWF history, Super Card V, is…

Images of each wrestler flash on the screen as Teddy Turnbuckle announces their names. TT: The Raving Lunatic…

Pledge Allegiance…

The M.u.H...

Paul Blair…

Mickey Stone…

Magnus Thunder…

…and Brian Adams!

BC: Pick the four winners, Teddy!

TT: I don’t know that I can…the first four men to make it out of that Maze and across the finish line will earn their spots in the main event at Super Card V. The favorites have got to be the veterans, they are more apt to adapt to the situation and play the game accordingly. In that regard I can’t help but look to Blair, to Pledge, to Magnus Thunder, and to Brian Adams.

BC: They’ve gotta be the favorites, Teddy! I’m going with Blair, Adams, Magnus…and The Raving Lunatic! I can’t wait to see that guy in a cage!

TT: We understand CWF Owner and Founder, Mark Xamin, is standing by with an announcement. Do we have a camera in his…ok I understand we’re going to his office. This is Mark Xamin’s office and the Owner has a word for us…

His office is actually a press box with a desk set up within it. With the arena below as a back drop, Xamin, wearing a jacket and tie, hair slicked back, speaks to the viewers at home and to the live crowd, who watch on the big screen.

MARK XAMIN: Fans and loyal followers of the Classic Wrestling Federation. Tonight is no doubt a historic night; one that will go down as perhaps the most unlikely night in our history. Who would have thought four years ago that we would ever be back here, selling out arenas and putting on the greatest show in the world? But I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt that you have seen nothing yet.

On March 28, 2009, the CWF will head to Toronto, Ontario, to the Rogers Center, where we will put on the greatest show we have ever produced…Super Card 5. This will be an event so huge, so magnificent, so extraordinary…that we will be bringing in a band that is the only band in the world who could match the size of this event. Playing at the Super Card V half time show, performing their latest single, “Get Your Boots On” will be…U2!

TT: Wow!

The crowd cheers.

MARK XAMIN: And indeed, the winner of the second chance ladder match and the four men who escape the Craze in the Maze, will be headlining Super Card V for the CWF World Heavyweight Championship. Now, tonight, we’ve seen five injuries, resulting from five qualifying matches. It is my unfortunate duty to inform the fans that those five injured wrestlers will not be competing in the second chance ladder match tonight! They are injured and do not have medical clearance. This means that the following wrestler’s will not be returning to the ring for a second chance…Triple G, Kyle Sync, Motion, X-Trimmer, and Toxic. The second chance ladder match is now a one on one ladder match between Mr. Markowitz and Khrist!

A loud mixed reaction from the crowd as the ladder is set up in the center of the ring, a contract hanging from the ceiling.

TT: That’s unprecedented! Their odds just went from 1 in 7 to 1 in 2!

MARK XAMIN: Let this be a lesson to all CWF wrestlers…come to work in shape and prepared for your opponent. This was a once in a life time opportunity that has been lost due to being ill prepared. I would also like to remind those men who will be entering the Craze in the Maze later on tonight, that you are entering the Maze at your own risk. The CWF will not be held responsible for what happens to you inside of it. I wish you all the best of luck.

And with that, we cut back to Teddy Turnbuckle and “Beautiful” Bobby Crane at ringside.

TT: Well that certainly changes things…

BC: Man, Markowitz and Khrist have to almost be happy that they lost their qualifying matches! Their fate is literally within their own hands now, it’s one on one, winner take all!

TT: And both men had grueling matches earlier, so this is looking like a relatively even playing field! This is getting very interesting. So at Super Card V, U2 will be performing at the half time show, we’ll be broadcasting live from the Rogers Center in Toronto, we’re about to find out the first main eventer of the biggest event in CWF history, and this is only our first night back!

BC: We haven’t seen anything yet…it looks like the ladders are set up, and my beautiful face is a safe distance from the carnage, so all systems are go.

TT: Right. Let’s get to the ring and find out who the first man in the Super Card V main event will be!

We cut to the ring and Doc McMartin.

Doc McMartin: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is the second chance LADDER MATCH! The rules are simple. There are no pinfalls, no submissions, no countouts and noooo disqualifications! The winner will be the man who climbs the ladder and retrieves the contract hanging hiiiiggghhh above the ring! The contract is a main event spot in the match for the CWF World Heavyweight Championship at Super Card FFFIIIVVVEEE!

The crowd roars.

Doc McMartin: Introducing the competitors. First, from Tenafly, New Jersey…weighing in at 220 pounds….MISTTTEER MARRRRRRRRKKKKOWITTTTZZZZ!

“Enter Sandman” by Metallica hits and Mr. Markowitz walks out from the back, looking a little worse for wear from his earlier matchup with Paul Blair. He appears to have a slight limp, but the fire in his eyes is undeniable. He is here to claim his spot. But to do it he’ll have to go through this man… Doc McMartin: And his opponent! From parts unknown…weighing in at 265 lbs…KHHRRRIIISSSTTT!

”Requiem-Lacrimosa” by Mozart hits and walking slowly through the curtain, blood still seeping out of his mouth and nose, and appearing to have refused medical attention, is the mysterious Khrist. A few children in the front row appear frightened by him, and duck behind the guardrail just enough that their eyes are still able to see over the rail. Khrist climbs into the ring and walks violently over to Markowitz, going nose to nose to him. Markowitz doesn’t flinch. Until Khrist sprays blood into his face.

TT: Oh my God! What a sickening and disrespectful diplay there by Khrist. Markowitz is furious!

BC: And Khrist has accomplished his mission…sick as it was, he’s thrown Markowitz off his game and he’s winning the mental aspect of the match!

Markowitz starts throwing wild punches at Khrist, each of them connecting. Khrist tries to weather the storm. Markowitz whips him to the ropes, and connects with a clothesline, sending Khrist to the mat. Khrist bounces back up, blood still spewing from his mouth. Markowitz drops him with another clothesline…Khrist bounces back up again, but this time Markowitz sails across the ring and connects with a flying shoulder block, sending Khrist flying through the ropes and outside the ring. Markowitz works the crowd as Khrist recollects himself on the outside.

TT: Markowitz is a house of fire!

BC: Yeah but Khrist is smart! Markowitz is still tired from his match with Blair, he’s letting him run down his adrenaline and then his legs will turn to jello!

Khrist cautiously slides under the bottom rope and back into the ring. Markowitz is ready to attack in the opposite corner. Khrist stays on his knees and glares at Markowitz from across the ring, grinning a wide, blood stained smile at him. Markowitz beckons for him to come and get it. Khrist stands up slowly and waits for Markowitz to make his move. Markowitz comes to the center of the ring, and Khrist circles him. Collar and elbow tie up…Markowitz, giving up 45 pounds to him, still manages to overpower him. Khrist is backed into the corner. The ref calls for a clean break. Markowitz backs off…as he does, Khrist sticks his thumb in his eye and takes the advantage.

BC: Bam! And there it is…brilliant! I’m starting to like this guy…

TT: Did you just say “bam”? Really?

BC: Shut up, you geek.

Khrist slugs him with a vicious clothesline. Markowitz slams down on the back of his neck and folds up like an accordion. Pleased, Khrist slides back outside the ring and grabs the ladder, much to the crowd’s delight.

TT: This is about to get ugly.

Khrist tosses the ladder over the top rope. It lands on Markowitz’s ankle. Markowitz writhes in pain, clutching his ankles and letting out a loud wince. Khrist grins, blood still trickling out of his nose and down his chin. He sets the ladder up in the ring and begins to climb. One step. Two steps. Markowitz pulls himself over to the ladder, and pushes in desperation…the ladder crashes down but Khrist is able to jump off before he goes with it. He viciously stomps Markowitz in the face, and then pulls him up by his hair. A hobbling Markowitz tries to stay on his feet as Khrist heaves him into the corner and charges in at him, connecting with a shoulder to the gut. Markowitz stumbles out of the corner and collapses in the center of the ring, trying to get some air back in him. Khrist mocks the crowd that is now booing him loudly.

TT: Mr. Markowitz is in all kinds of trouble here, he needs to block out the pain and fight or Khrist is going to absolutely lay waste to him here.

BC: But Khrist is trying to make short work of him…don’t forget, Khrist literally just finished a brutal match with Brian Adams…his stamina has got to be running low as well, plus he’s still bleeding…he’s going to burn out here if he doesn’t make this quick!

TT: Absolutely, and he’s taking too much time here pandering to the crowd…

Markowitz grimaces in pain but pulls himself up using the ropes. Khrist turns around and charges at him, but Markowitz ducks and pulls the top rope down, sending Khrist flying over the top and to the outside. Markowitz’s sudden adrenaline rush subsides, however, and he drops back to the mat. He crawls over to the ladder and tries to set it up from his knees. It wobbles until it finally settles. By this time, however, Khrist has regained his bearings and feigns injury as he watches Markowitz slowly ascend the ladder. As Markowitz is reaching for the contract, Khrist quickly dives back into the ring and grabs the ladder, rocking it back and forth as if to tease him first. Markowitz looked down at him, clutching onto the ladder for dear life. Khrist smiles at him evily, blood gushing out of his mouth as he does…and he waves at him as if to say goodbye.

TT: My God! My God! Don’t do it! For God’s sake don’t do it!

BC: Incommmiiinnnnggg!

Khrist pushes the ladder with all his might, and Markowitz flies over the top rope, sails over the padded concrete floor below, and crashes into the Spanish announce table with a vengeance. Monitors, wires, papers, clipboards, and splinters of wood fly everywhere. The crowd gasps as the camera zooms in on a bloodied Mr. Markowitz lying motionless in the midst of the carnage, tangled in wires.

TT: Good God! He has been destroyed! Mr. Markowitz has been destroyed here tonight and we need to get some doctors out here!


Khrist laughs evilly to himself, blood spraying out of his mouth as he does. He admires the destruction he’s just caused. The crowd is chanting “holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit!” which only adds to Khrist’s amusement. He arrogantly picks up the ladder and slowly sets it up in the center of the ring, allowing the throngs of fans in the crowd to soak in their newly found hatred for him. He climbs one step at a time, and with each step he stops to mock the crowd and admire the fallen Mr. Markowitz. Markowitz is slowly regaining his consciousness, however. And he slowly begins to fight to his feet. He has to wrestle with the wires that are bound to his arms, legs, and ankles. Khrist doesn’t notice him stirring…he’s too busy mocking the crowd. He finally reaches the top of the ladder and outstretches his arms to form a cross…a frightening image with the blood dripping off of his chin. He reaches up the for contract, when suddenly…


…the ladder disappears from beneath his feet as Mr. Markowitz has willed his way back into the ring and knocked it out from under him. Khrist is left hanging by the very contract that this war has been waged for. Hanging by his hopes and dreams of competing in the main event at Super Card V. And now it is Markowitz, staring up at him and waving, as if to mock him. Khrist is furious, his red turning a shade of red deep enough to match the blood rapidly flowing out of his nostrils and down his chin. He begins furiously kicking as he dangles, as if he is conflicted – he wants the contract but he also wants to get at Markowitz. The crowd is on their feet as Markowitz begins to set up the ladder next to Khrist, but far enough away that Khrist can’t reach it.

TT: I don’t know what Markowitz has in mind here but I have a feeling we’re about to see something big!

BC: Hang on, Khrist! Hang on! Markowitz climbs to the very top of the ladder, now eye level with Khrist. Markowitz smiles through clouded eyes, mocking Khrist…Khrist begins cursing him through his blood stained teeth, and swinging back and forth from the chain that hangs the contract from the ceiling. As he gets closer to Markowitz he begins kicking wildly…but he can’t reach. Markowitz waves at him again, the same way Khrist waved at him before throwing him from the ladder. Khrist’s eyes widen as Markowitz lunges at him, connecting with a vicious spear in mid-air! Both Khrist and Markowitz falls from a dangerous height and crash to the mat. Both are unconscious. And then we see it…

Clutched in Khrist’s hands is the contract. Clutched in his hands is his ticket to Super Card V.


Doc McMartin: Ladies and gentlemen…here is your winner…..KHHHRRRIIISSSSSSTTTTTT!

The crowd boos wildly.

TT: Holy good God, what a match! I’ve never seen anything like it! Khrist took the bullet and hung onto the contract while dropping sixteen feet out of the sky and crashing to the mat! What a match!

BC: That was incredible! Blood and guts all the way!

TT: Hats off to Mr. Markowitz, he showed an incredible spirit, this just was not his night! And you’ve got to believe it isn’t over between these two! Khrist is going on to Super Card V for the CWF World Heavyweight Championship! What a damn match!

EMTs rush to the ring as Mozart begins to play throughout the arena. The crowd has turned from booing to giving both men a standing ovation for the incredible effort. Both are taken out on stretchers. Half way back up the aisle, however, Khrist fights off the EMTs and rolls off the stretcher, the blood now having painted his entire chest red. He fights to get to his feet, and then holds the contract, also smeared with his blood, high above his head. He then takes his finger, sticks it in his mouth, and pulls it out, covered in blood…and signs the contract in it!

TT: Khrist has signed the contract in his own damn blood!

Shocked, the crowd becomes somewhat hushed, as Khrist cackles to himself and drops to his knees, holding out his arms as if to praise his God. And with that, he gets up and limps his way back behind the curtain.

TT: Well no doubt about it, folks…Khrist has arrived on the scene here, and I’d be lying if I told you I wasn’t a little nervous about that…this guy is clearly capable of doing some nasty things.

BC: Yeah well, whoever else makes it to that glorious main event at Super Card V is gonna have a lot to think about with this guy having you in his crosshairs. Except for Blair. Blair don’t care about no stinkin’ crosshairs.

TT: Blair hasn’t even earned himself a spot in the main event, Bobby…don’t get ahead of yourself. But in any event, March the 28th, Toronto, Ontario…the CWF presents Super Card V, and fans…it just doesn’t get any better than this…

Super Card V advertisement.

On March 28, 2009…

The grandest event in CWF history.

The biggest band in the world.

The biggest stage of the year.

Five men…one championship.

The Classic Wrestling Federation, in association with proudly presents…

TT: Super Card V, what a big one that’s going to be, and right now we’re going to find out the other four men that will join Khrist in the main event on that glorious night! The wait is over folks, the Maze is on its way down to ringside!

The lights drop and the crowd roars as an ominous bass line vibrates through the arena and the massive, three level, thick steel maze begins to lower from the ceiling to the floor, and will eventually cover the entire ringside area and part of the aisle.

TT: As we wait for the maze to drop, give us your insight, Bobby…what would your strategy be going into a match as unique as this one?

BC: Well first and foremost, I’d be wearing a helmet with a full visor to protect this flawless, gorgeous face. But when you get right down to it, there’s not a whole lot to strategize about. You go in there and you try to survive. You scratch, you bite, you smack people in the head with anything you can get your hands on, and you try to keep your sense of direction, because believe me, I walked inside that maze this morning and it took me two hours to find my way back out…it is exactly what it advertises itself to be…it’s downright scary and you’re not only battling the other six guys in the match, you’re battling the maze itself!

TT: And an added twist…it’s got three levels. You have to climb to the top level and exit through the roof of the maze, then climb back down and navigate your way back to the floor from the outside of the cage, and cross the finish line at the top of the aisle. I’ve got a bad feeling about this one fans…a real bad feeling that something terrible is going to happen, and I admire the courage of these men for even stepping inside of this evil structure.

BC: Well, whoever makes it out of this thing better hope they can make the trip to Toronto for Super Card, because I’ll tell you something…if that ladder match was any indication of what a man will do to headline this event…well, we haven’t seen anything yet.

The seven winners of the qualifying matches make their way to their respective maze entrances. Brian Adams. The MuH. Pledge Allegiance. Magnus Thunder. Paul Blair. The Raving Lunatic. Each man stands inside a chamber in a separate entrance. When the bell sounds, each man will be released from their chamber at the same time. Brian Adams, still in noticeable pain after his match with Khrist, looks intensely ready, in the zone. Mickey Stone is focused, controlling his nerves and remaining composed, with a tinge of fear in his eyes as he fully realizes the gravity of the match. The MuH looks in awe, almost nervous, and rightfully so. Pledge Allegiance is dying to get the match started, nearly running on the spot to contain his adrenaline. Magnus Thunder stands ominously within his chamber…an ominous figure even within the massive structure of the maze. Paul Blair looks flat out afraid, shaking the bars of his chamber violently as if he’s a prisoner insisting he’s innocent. And the Raving Lunatic is smiling, running his fingers along the cold steel that encapsulates him as if the whole experience is too good to be true.

And then, the lights restore power. The crowd roars. And Doc McMartin takes the mic.

Doc McMartin: Laaaaaaadies and gentlemen, all seven competitors have entered the maze. The combatants, announced in no particular order…Magnus Thunder! Paul Blair! The MuH! Pledge Allegiance! The Raving Lunatic! Brian Adams! Mickey Stone! All seven men have signed a waiver. All seven men have agreed that the CWF is not responsible for whatever transpires within this match. The first four men to navigate their way through the maze’s three levels, through the roof, back down to the floor, and across the finish line, will be in the main event at Suuuuupppeeerrr Caaaarrrddd fiiiivvvvve!

The crowd roars.

Doc McMartin: The CWF proudly presents to you…CRAZE IN THE MAZE 2!!!

The crowd explodes as the bell sounds.


TT: Ok folks, we’ve got cameras built into this thing so we have the best seat in the house!

BC: I’ve got a sick feeling about this! Come on, Blair! Get the hell out of this thing!

The Raving Lunatic bolts out of his chamber and immediately begins running around, getting stuck in a dead end and purposely running into the steel mesh of the maze, smiling and having the time of his life. Meanwhile, Paul Blair looks like more of an FBI agent, creeping up to every corner and peeking his head around carefully to see if anyone is there. He appears to make some progress as he has yet to hit a dead end. The MuH frantically tries to find his way around, doing his best to keep moving and not waste time being frustrated if he gets stuck. Mickey Stone walks carefully, but with a purpose, testing the give in the steel as he walks along the maze’s many twists and turns. Magnus Thunder strides through the narrow halls of the maze, looking up above at the second level, and through that, in the distance and barely visible through the mesh, the third. Pledge Allegiance is a man on a mission, welcoming a clash with anyone he may run into. He has clearly been anticipating this night and next to Magnus Thunder he may be the freshest man in it. Brian Adams is busy trying to cut a hole in the roof of the maze with a pair of wire cutters he snuck into the match…but to no avail.

Paul Blair pokes his head around a corner and sees The Raving Lunatic laughing hysterically and bouncing off the walls. His eyes go wide and he comically turns around and walks the other way as the crowd laughs in appreciation of the moment. But as Blair turns, the Lunatic accidentally finds himself a trick wall. He crashes through it and scurries out of sight. Blair, hearing the commotion, turns back around and sees the new opening. He cautiously walks through it.

BC: Watch out, Ruler! That guy is literally a lunatic!

Meanwhile, Brian Adams has given up on his attempts to cut his way out. As he rounds a corner of the maze, he spots Magnus Thunder with his back turned. Adams’ eyes grow wide and he licks his lips. An unsuspecting Magnus Thunder is caught by complete surprise as Adams viciously clips his knee. Magnus drops and tries to get back up but his knee can’t sustain his weight. Adams brutally assaults him, stomping him ferociously and sickeningly scraping his forehead with the wire cutters. Magnus begins to bleed almost immediately, his face a crimson mask as Adams pounds on the wound with fists of fury.

TT: Adams has been bragging all week about a tainted victory he scored over Magnus in 2001 on an episode of POP….Magnus wanted to get his hands on him but Adams has beat him to the punch and done a number on the big guy…Adams has got to be pleased with that and Magnus is in serious trouble here…he’s bleeding heavily and he may have a bad knee…

BC: The knee injury will prevent him from walking around at a decent pace, let alone climbing to the second tier…and the blood will eventually send him to la la land…it’s lights out for Magnus Thunder!

Adams runs for his life, leaving Magnus in a bloody heap. Meanwhile, Pledge Allegiance has run into Mickey Stone and the two of them are slugging it out, going back and forth, tooth and nail with right hands and left hands. Out of nowhere, The MuH flies into both of them, sending them both crashing into the mesh walls. MuH pounds on Mickey Stone, until Pledge gets up and pulls him off by the hair, slamming him head first into the steel mesh, and then scraping his face against it. MuH grimaces in pain. Stone and Pledge both stomp MuH into a corner and then turn on each other, going back to their brawl. Back with Paul Blair as he cautiously peeks around another corner and again sees The Raving Lunatic laughing maniacally and bouncing off walls.

TT: Blair is just following the crazy guy!

BC: There’s a method to the madness, Teddy!

The Raving Lunatic crashes through yet another trick wall, opening up another section of the maze, this one seemingly leading to the second level. Blair quickly sneaks up behind him and shoves him head first into the wall. Lunatic gets up and laughs, punching himself in the head as if to challenge Blair to give him his best. Blair winds up to Blair Kick him but instead of following through, he instead stops and pokes Lunatic in the eye and climbs up to the second level, racing around a corner and out of sight of the Raving Lunatic. As Lunatic tries to regain his vision, Pledge Allegiance and Mickey Stone race past him and climb up to the second level, seemingly working as a team after gaining each other’s respect.

Meanwhile, we see a shot of Magnus Thunder’s last known location. He isn’t there, but there is a trail of smeared blood across the floor, suggesting he’s dragging himself through the maze. Another camera shot and we’ve spotted him…he’s now fought his way to his feet and is using the steel mesh walls to support him. The blood has now reached his neck and his crimson mask is so deep you can barely make out his distinguishing features. But on he fights. As he rounds a corner he grips the mesh ceiling with his fingers to hold himself up…and the ceiling comes down! He appears to have found an alternate route to the second level. But he gets a surprise…as the ceiling drops, so too does Paul Blair, who is just as surprised as anyone that he’s not only dropped a level, but dropped on top of Magnus Thunder!

BC: Ahhh!

TT: Well there’s something we’ve never seen before!

Magnus grabs Blair by the hair and begins to wail on him with fists that must feel like bowling balls. Blair narrowly escapes his grasp and scales the wall back up to level two…only to find Pledge Allegiance and Mickey Stone there waiting for him. He has to pick his poison – back down to face Magnus, or stay put and face Pledge and Stone. Suddenly, Pledge decks Stone from behind and sends him through the gaping hole in the floor, back down to level one. Pledge wants Blair to himself! The crowd roars!

BC: [sobbing] This isn’t fair to Blair!

Pledge grabs him and Blair begs him off, but Pledge is having none of it. He winds up to deck Blair, but Blair quickly low blows him! The crowd boos as Blair stomps away at Pledge and runs around a corner…and into The Raving Lunatic!

BC: It never ends! Come on, Blair! One level to go! Run!

The Raving Lunatic grabs Blair and throws him down onto the mesh floor. From below, Magnus Thunder looks up and sees the Lunatic doing a number on Blair. He fights to his feet and tries to pull himself up to level two with nothing but sheer upper body strength.

Meanwhile, The MuH and Brian Adams have collided. Adams has the upper hand and their brawl spills into the pathway that the Raving Lunatic discovered earlier. Mickey Stone has decided to follow them rather than attempt to climb up via the same entrance that Magnus Thunder was currently attempting to scale.

Back on level two, The Raving Lunatic has Blair in some kind of strangle hold…he’s mounted him and is choking him with some kind of foreign object…what appears to be a chain. From around the corner comes a steaming Pledge Allegiance. He grabs Lunatic and throws him off of Blair. He tries to get at Blair himself, but Lunatic grabs him by the hair and slams him backwards onto the mesh flooring. Blair has crawled out of sight and Lunatic seems to have forgotten about him, continuing to assault Pledge.

Meanwhile, Magnus Thunder has pulled himself up to level two and is attempting to pull down the ceiling to level three, but with no success. Still supporting himself with the wall, he stalks through the maze…perhaps in search of Brian Adams, who again has managed to find himself behind the big man. Must be his lucky day. He races up behind Magnus and jumps him…but Magnus turns around! He grabs Adams by the throat for a choke slam! He has him up! But out of nowhere the Raving Lunatic slams his forearm into Magnus’ back. Magnus drops Adams, who stumbles and then runs for his life…while the Lunatic unleashes a violent assault on Magnus, doing everything from headbutting him to biting him…Magnus grabs him, falls backwards and sends him sprawling with a monkey flip. Lunatic arches his back in pain…still somewhat enjoying it but unable to ignore its effects.

Mickey Stone has also climbed his way back up and is happily walking through everyone else’s carnage.

TT: Mickey Stone is playing it smart! He’s managed to avoid most of the chaos…he’s letting everyone else clear a path and he’s simply walking through it!

BC: It’ll backfire eventually! It has to, it all evens out!

Paul Blair has found his way up to level three. It appears he’s kicked through a wall and found a ramp leading up. The level is laden with steel chairs and barbed wire, and his eyes tell the story… “I’ve got to get the hell out of here!” …Blair is closely followed by The MuH, who has done a good job of keeping quiet, for the most part. He jumps Blair and the two go at it, until Blair grabs a chair and damn near knocks his head clean off his shoulders. MuH drops and lies motionless at the entrance to level 3. Blair hangs onto the chair and frantically tries to find an opening to escape through the roof.

Meanwhile, Magnus has scratched and clawed his way to that very third level entrance, and sees MuH laying there motionless. Pledge Allegiance races past him but Magnus grabs his arm and stops him, pulling Pledge back and rocking him with a devastating DDT on the ramp. Pledge’s forehead begins to drip blood down to the level below. Raving Lunatic happens to be directly below him and the blood drips onto him. Looking up, he sees the path to the third level and quickly takes advantage, racing towards it. But he bumps into Mickey Stone, and the two begin rolling around on the floor in something reminiscent of a school yard brawl, until Mickey Stone escapes his grasp and scurries up the ramp, past Pledge and apparently in another direction than Magnus.

Brian Adams has found his way to the ramp as well, but he sees the bodies lying on the ground…Pledge on the ramp, MuH just past him. He can’t help but wonder if Magnus Thunder is responsible for all of it. He cautiously walks up the ramp…but it isn’t Magnus he has to worry about, it’s Mickey Stone, who dives from a slight height and nearly catches him with a clothesline that would have put him out of commission…but perhaps paranoid, Adams was ready for it and moves out of the way at the last second. Stone lands on his shoulder and yells out in horrible pain. Adams walks away thinking he’s out of the woods, until…


TT: Ooooohh…

Teddy Turnbuckle echoes the sentiments of the crowd as Magnus Thunder decks Adams with a steel chair from out of nowhere! Adams staggers and tries to run, but Magnus nails him again! Adams falls forward and backs himself into a corner, frantically pleading with Magnus to stop. Magnus dives onto him with full force…and if that didn’t knock the wind out of him, his heavy elbows to the side of Adams’ head surely did. Has Magnus had the last laugh? Adams is writing in pain and Magnus is off in search of a way out.

But Blair has already found it. He’s scaled his way up a small built in ladder attached to a wall and through a small opening in the roof. The crowd roars as a figure emerges from the maze…and then immediately begin to boo as the see it’s Blair.

BC: He did it! Blair is the king of the world!

TT: It’s not over yet, Bobby! He still has to climb his way down the outside of the maze and cross the finish line…and look, he has company!

BC: Ahhh!

It’s The Raving Lunatic! He’s followed Blair and Blair is beside himself as he is standing on top of the massive steel structure with a man who enjoys pain! Blair falls over backwards and tries to crawl away frantically, but Lunatic races over to him and dives on him, biting his forehead much to the crowd’s delight. And suddenly, another figure emerges from the maze…it’s Pledge Allegiance, who’s recovered from the DDT and he sees Blair! He pulls Lunatic off of him and attacks! The crowd roars as Pledge gets his hands on Paul Blair! Blair is bumping all over the place as Pledge slams him around!

Enter Magnus Thunder. The crowd erupts as four men now battle on the roof of the massive maze! Magnus, bloodied and battered, barely able to stand, has willed his way up to the top. Pledge and Blair wage war, while Magnus and Lunatic grab hold of each other and go at it! In a moment in time, all four men deliver quite a scene, as four stars battle some thirty feet from the floor!

TT: My God have you ever seen anything like this?!

BC: Oh my God, Blair! Get off of that thing! Ahhhhh!

Pledge lifts Blair high above his head in a gorilla press slam position…and the crowd stands on their feet as he tosses Blair down not one, but TWO levels! Blair lands violently on the roof of the first level of the maze, and an overhead shot shows him laying on the mesh as if he’s been in a car wreck!


TT: OH MY GOD! What a fall! And Blair has got to be out of this! Pledge may have just erased any hope Blair may have had at walking out of this!

Brian Adams emerges from the maze and makes his way onto the roof to loud boos. Pledge has begun to climb down the outside of the maze, but Adams spots him and stands above him. Pledge, hanging from the third level in an especially dangerous spot…looks up at Adams and realizes how much trouble he’s in. With one stomp, Adams could send him thirty feet below to the concrete floor. Pledge immediately begins climbing down, and Adams follows. About half way down, he catches up, and they begin to exchange blows on the side of the maze! The crowd stands up and roars, knowing they’re about to see something that will be replayed for years to come…and in that respect, they get their wish, though they probably were hoping the roles would be reversed. Adams slams Pledge’s head into the side of the maze and Pledge loses his grip, falling to the arena floor and surely being eliminated from contention. He lies unconscious.

TT: OH MY GOD! For God’s sake we need a doctor out here! Pledge could be seriously injured!

BC: And that is what I call karma, my friend! Ha!

Brian Adams quickly descends the maze and races up the aisle, the first to cross the finish line!

TT: And Brian Adams will be in the main event at Super Card V! What an accomplishment!

BC: But there’s still time for Blair! Three more guys have to cross that line for this to be over!

Magnus Thunder and Lunatic, meanwhile, have brawled down to level two of the maze. Unfortunately, that wasn’t on purpose – the lost their balance and fell off the third level. Lunatic voluntarily jumps off the second level and down to the first, past the fallen Paul Blair, and then climbs down to the floor and scurries up the aisle to cross the finish line!

TT: The Lunatic moves on to Super Card V! Unbelievable!

BC: Oh my God, Paul, get up! There’s only two spots left!

Back inside level three, The MuH and Mickey Stone, both just barely conscious, are working together to find a way up to the roof, realizing they need to get up there fast. Finally, they find the opening…and they argue to decide who gets to climb the ladder first. MuH goes to deck Stone out of nowhere, but Stone sees it coming and ducks. He slams MuH’s head into the steel ladder and MuH is knocked out cold! Stone climbs the ladder to the roof and gets an ovation from the crowd who had all but counted him out.

Meanwhile, Magnus Thunder has reached Paul Blair. He considers his options…do more damage to Blair, or escape this hell. He chooses the latter, crawling past Blair and scaling the wall down to the floor. He crawls all the way up the aisle and makes it to the finish line…but just as he’s reaching it, Brian Adams emerges from behind the curtain with a lead pipe and clocks him over the head! Magnus is knocked out cold! But as he flopped down, his hand appears to have crossed the finish line! A referee is nearby to take a closer look…and he awards the third main event spot to Magnus Thunder!

TT: Thunder has done it! Despite Brian Adams’ best effort, Thunder is on his way to Super Card V and he’s made history! At the very first Valentine’s Bash he won a spot in the main event at Super Card I…and now some eleven years later he’s done the same thing in an even more brutal match!

BC: Oh come onnnnn Blair! You can do this! Wake up! Wake uppppp!

Mickey Stone has scaled the wall down to the first level. The crowd is on it’s feet as he begins to descend to the floor and from there, surely cross the line and earn his spot. But as he begins to climb down, a hand grabs his wrist. The crowd boos wildly as Paul Blair has come around.

BC: Yes! Yes! Get him!

Blair hangs on for dear life and manages to twist himself around, fighting through the most intense pain of his career. He and Stone battle all the way down the final wall of the maze, and it spills onto the floor. They brawl all the way up the aisle! Inches from the finish line!


TT: We’re gonna have a photo finish here!

Stone bodyslams Blair on the floor! He crosses the line!

No! He just missed! He just missed crossing the line and Blair has blocked out the blow of the bodyslam and grabbed Stone by the ankle!

BC: Oh my God, my heart! My heart!

Blair drags him back and Stone scratches and claws the entire way! Stone wraps his legs around Blair’s ankle and applies pressure…ANKLE LOCK! Stone has Blair in an ankle lock!

BC: No! No! No!

Blair is crawling towards the line but threatening to pass out, dragging Stone behind him. Blair’s leg is twisted at a horrible angle and he is ready to pass out! He’s inches from the line! Stone is wrenching back with all his might! And Blair has passed out! Blair has passed out inches from the line!


Stone quickly gets to his feet, releasing the hold…but as he does, Blair has one final burst of energy and pushes himself across the line, just barely ahead of Mickey Stone! He faked passing out and has tricked Mickey Stone!

TT: Blair goes to Super Card! My God what suspense! Blair has outsmarted Mickey Stone! He may have out smarted all of us! I thought he was done for! Blair has done it!


Blair really does pass out this time, and he sprawls out, just past the finish line. Mickey Stone is in disbelief. He was THAT close.

TT: Mickey Stone has nothing to be ashamed of! What an effort from the youngster! What a showing…there is no shame in that at all!

BC: You were outsmarted by the best in the world, you punk! Hit the bricks!

TT: Oh give me a break! Look at the carnage left behind! Pledge Allegiance is still lying motionless, EMTs rushing to his aid…Magnus Thunder’s blood has stained a trail up the aisle…this is an absolute war zone! And the MuH is still trapped inside the maze, unconscious! My God what a night!

BC: And imagine the main event at Super Card V!

TT: Five men have earned their spot! The main event at Super Card will be Khrist vs Brian Adams vs The Raving Lunatic vs Magnus Thunder vs Paul Blair! My God what a main event that will be!

BC: What a friggin’ night this has been!

TT: For the first time all night, I agree with you! Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for joining us at the Valentine Bash! See you on February the 28th for the first ever edition of Saturday Night Showdown! I’m Teddy Turnbuckle for “Beautiful” Bobby Crane…good night everybody!

We close the broadcast with the image of Paul Blair, sprawled out and unconscious, but just past the finish line.

Fade to black.

Until next time…